The two faces of narcissism

Narcissism denotes an individual psychological and cultural condition. The degree to which a person identifies with his feelings is the degree of narcissism he has.

In this article we will see what the two faces of narcissism are and how they are reflected in the way of behaving of the person.

• Related article: "The 3 differences between narcissism and self-centeredness"

What is narcissism?

Pathological narcissism is the result of a failure in the development of the ego. People with a very high degree of narcissism may have had traumatic experiences in childhood, or overwhelming experiences that could not be integrated into the Self.

A) Yes, pathological narcissism is characterized by the following aspects:

• Exaggerated preoccupation with one's own psychological and physical image.
• Denial of feelings that are directed towards oneself, if they do not meet one's expectations.
• Tendency to be very seductive and manipulative.
• Cases of depression and low self-esteem.
• Frequently they envy others and believe they are envied.
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• A search for power and control arises.
• They do not usually distinguish between the image they think they have and the one they really have.
• They focus on their own interests.
• They seek recognition to feel superior.

The behaviors that we have seen make these people isolate themselves over time and as a consequence experience life as empty and meaningless.

At the cultural level, the following phenomena are detected:

• waste of values.
• Material objects become more important.
• Wealth, notoriety, and success are more important than self-respect and dignity.
• Lack of interest in the environment and others.

All of this results in a insensitivity to human needs.

• You may be interested in: "Narcissistic Personality Disorder: causes and symptoms"

The roots of narcissism

Heinz Kohut was a psychoanalyst who delved into pathological narcissism, and explains that It occurs at the time of the affected mother-child interaction.

It can occur because of the rejection and / or mistreatment of the mother or with her death, when the infant does not find a substitute person. In these cases, the boy or girl feels a deep emptiness or abandonment that usually causes what he called "rage narcissistic ”, which at first is towards the mother but later can turn towards oneself and finally towards others.

Narcissistic depression is very difficult to handle Because these people tend to isolate themselves and, for example, now in the pandemic these cases have increased. Continuing on the line about the social and health crisis that we are going through, narcissism has been exacerbated, and those who suffer from these complications find it difficult to comply with the restrictions and preventive measures and sanitary. They are reluctant to wear a face mask or mask and gel, and to maintain a healthy safe distance because they feel and think that they are not susceptible to the virus.

Otto Kernberg comments that narcissistic people have grandiose fantasies about their worth, feelings of inferiority, and over-reliance on outside admiration and applause. There is great dissatisfaction with themselves and a tendency to cruelty to others.

Living with narcissistic people is difficult because they lack empathy; far from listening to the other they talk about themselves all the time. Another feature to highlight is that these people are characterized by being very aggressive when they are contradicted or do not do what they want. An example: when they live as a couple, they do not appreciate or respect the other person, but rather denigrate and despise them.

• Related article: "Empathy, much more than putting yourself in someone else's shoes"

The other side of narcissism

On the other hand we have healthy narcissism, which is a natural component in humans.

Narcissism if moderate can cause many positive issues in the person. This healthy narcissism is found in people who:

• They have adequate self-esteem.
• They manage to have realistic expectations.
• They have a greater tolerance for frustration.
• They may feel the need to seek perfection and thus use that motivation to progress.

The important thing about having a healthy narcissism is that helps people not need the approval of others to live and enjoy life, because the main approval that these people need is their own. Healthy narcissism is respectful of the ideas and actions of others.

Taking the previous example, the healthy narcissist in times of pandemic, being able to see himself in a situation of real risk, accepted confinement and sought protect yourself by exiting with security measures and even implementing new measures, and at best reinvented yourself in various aspects of your life.