What to do if your teenager doesn't want to go to school: 7 strategies

When a teenager does not want to go to school, parents find themselves in a delicate situation that they do not know how to deal with. One of the predominant feelings in situations like this is helplessness.

If a teenager says that she doesn't want to go to school... What are you doing? Parents naturally become very concerned and fearful when their teenager refuses to go to school. In this article we will talk about some strategies that you can implement if you find yourself in this situation.

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Strategies that you can put into practice if the little one does not want to go to school

Let's explore 7 strategies that can help and guide you if you find yourself in this situation. Following them will not guarantee that your child will want to go to school, but they can help and guide you through this difficult situation. In addition, you probably do not have to implement all the strategies, since they will depend on each specific situation.

1. Don't assume your teen is being defiant.

We all know that if adolescents are characterized by something, it is by being defiant with respect to limits. This process is normal and healthy, and is part of adolescence. But nevertheless, don't assume that this defiant behavior is the only reason your child is refusing to go to school. Many times, there are other issues at play. If you only focus on this cause, you may overlook other problems that may be explaining why your child does not want to go to school.

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2. Try to identify the problem

In line with the previous point, it is very important that you identify the reason why your child refuses to go to school. Do you feel pressure for studies? Do you suffer from bullying? He is depressed and has no energy to get out of bed? Is he overloaded with tasks and very tired? Are there any social skills problems that make it difficult for you to relate to peers?

Take a close look at your child: his routines, use of new technologies, school and extracurricular tasks that he has to do every day, how he uses his leisure time, who he goes out with, sleeping habits, eating...

Some of the top reasons teens don't want to go to high school are bullying, academic difficulties, anxiety, and depression. Although there could be other situations that explain the refusal of a teenager to go to school.

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3. Specifically explores the possibility of bullying

Bullying as a possible cause deserves a special point. Sometimes avoiding school is one of the first signs that your child is being bullied.. Therefore, I encourage you to make sure you investigate this possibility. Keep in mind that many teens are embarrassed to admit that they are being bullied and may not tell you.

In the same way, it is important to remember that bullying can take very different forms: coercion, social manipulation, social exclusion, intimidation...

Remember to assess the possibility that bullying may be happening in the world of technology and social media. Cyberbullying is the order of the day and is often more difficult for parents to detect.

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4. Validate your child's feelings

What do you think can help your child right now? Surely for your son it will be comforting the fact that his parents understand him and understand that it is difficult for him to go to school. To do this, you can use active listening techniques, such as giving it your full attention, not being doing other tasks while he is talking, not interrupting him, encouraging him to continue talking, not judge him...

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5. Inform the institute

One point that is always necessary is to update the institute on this situation that is taking place. Your teachers will be an indispensable source of information. Think of them as your eyes when your child is in high school. In addition, it is very likely that the institute will have to be part of the solution.

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6. Avoid engaging in a power struggle

If your child refuses to go to school, try not to get angry. This can make the situation worse and cause stress for both yourself and your child. Having arguments at home will not make him want to go to school, on the contrary, it will be another source of problems.

Similarly, avoid power struggles with those responsible for the institute. Many times, when we are overwhelmed, we look for blame and attribute the problem to external causes beyond ourselves. This is not going to help your son. It is about joining forces and rowing in the same direction.

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7. Offer psychological help

He may not want to tell you what is happening to him, but he may feel comfortable talking to a psychologist. Also, if your child is having a problem with anxiety, depression, bullying... There is a job to be done with a mental health professional to work all those symptoms.

If your child does not want to go to a psychologist, you can consider the option of going yourself. A psychologist can help you better deal with the situation.

Remember that your child is unique and has unique circumstances, therefore this problem requires an individualized response. In any case, the three components to solve the problem are usually the adolescent, the parents and the institute. It is a collaboration, many times they blame each other and that is not the way.