The 3 levels of aggression in the couple (and its dangers)

There is a series of aggressive behaviors that unfortunately occur quite frequently among members of many different ages, so it is have come to classify within what is known as the "levels of aggression in a couple" that allow us to check the quality and health of a partner.

The levels of aggression in the couple, by offering us the possibility of measuring the quality of a couple, allows us to see if a relationship is toxic and thus realize that when certain limits are exceeded, perhaps the most sensible thing to do is to end a relationship due to the risk that those behaviors will pass to other more serious.

In this article we will briefly explain what the different levels of aggression in the couple consist of and what are some of the behaviors that usually occur frequently in each of them.

• Related article: "The 11 types of violence (and the different kinds of aggression)"

The levels of aggression in the couple (explained)

In any couple there are certain conflicts, having discussions that could cause certain rises in tone and even that certain hurtful comments are said that will later cause regret on the part of the person who says them. He said. Although we are not proud of it, it is normal that on some occasions we have some discussions of this type, being the common thing that the situation does not get out of hand or that neither of the two parties of the partner.

However, there are certain people who go beyond the limits of respect for their partner and they come to act aggressively at various levels, both physically and psychologically, which erodes your relationship and will cause tremendous discomfort in the other person.

When these limits are exceeded, it is common for aggression to increase, giving rise to various behaviors classified in the different existing levels of aggression in the couple and, therefore, the most advisable thing would be to stop these cycles of aggression before they rise from level.

Broadly speaking, we will explain below the three major levels of aggression in the couple, within the which are grouped a set of behaviors that turn a relationship into a type of toxic relationship. These levels are classified in ascending order in terms of the degree of violence given in the couple, normally one of the members being the aggressor and the other the abused, although could be the case in which there is a reciprocal abuse.

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Level 1: symbolic aggression

The first of the levels of aggression in the couple is in which a class of aggressions called “symbolic aggressions” occurs. In this first level of aggression in the couple, abuse occurs above all at a psychological level, without having produced any type of physical aggression..

When there is symbolic aggression in a couple, it is because there are behaviors such as those explained below or similar. As there are certain levels of aggression in the couple, giving a symbolic aggression, it may be the case that one of the parties of the couple reaches being ridiculed in public on several occasions by their partner, so that, in addition, the ridiculed part is normal for them to feel humiliated.

On the other hand, in symbolic aggression it is common for jokes in bad taste to occur that can hurt the feelings of the victim. another party, as well as it is possible that the aggressor party frequently resorts to the use of offensive phrases towards the other party of the partner. Sometimes it may be the case that the aggressor of the couple has gone so far as to threaten their partner.

When behaviors like the ones just mentioned or similar begin to occur between the members of a couple, we could say that the relationship begins to be toxic, so it is of great importance that the abused and harassed party put a stop before the aggressions go further.

In the most extreme cases of violence within this level (eg. g., with threats) the affected party may need to seek legal help for a variety of reasons. The first is that this type of behavior must be intolerable and, second, because of the risk that these threats end up being carried out by the aggressor member of the couple.

• Related article: "The 6 main types of toxic relationships"

Level 2: coercive aggression

The second of the levels of aggression in the couple is that of "coercive aggression", where the levels of violence have increased with respect to what was when there was a level of aggression symbolic.

When there is coercive violence, the levels of aggression in the couple are considerably more serious than in the previous level, being frequent there is a psychological abuse and it can even occur on a physical level as well.

At this level, it is common for there to be behaviors such as prohibiting the abused partner from doing certain things, such as For example, go out with your friends to a party, chat with certain people, among others, so that your freedom is very limited. Therefore, in these cases the aggressor would be exercising control over the abused party, way that he could end up spying on his partner because of an urgent need to know what he does in everything moment.

In the most extreme cases there could be intimidation by the aggressor towards her partner in order to cause fear and thus make her more submissive with their impositions or even the limit of resorting to physical aggression may be reached.

Here we would see a completely toxic relationship in which the abused party should put an end to immediately because her physical and mental integrity are in danger. In this type of relationship it is difficult to leave because it is most likely that the party partner's aggressor does not accept that her partner wants to leave the relationship and acts in an even more violent. It is common that when this type of relationship ends, the aggressor harasses the other person, or it could also be the case that he apologizes in order to be given another chance.

In these cases, it is likely that the affected part of the couple must file a complaint in order to seek protection because, in such cases, levels of partner aggression, you may be at risk of future aggression because of the abusive partner's refusal to end the relationship. relationship.

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Level 3: direct aggression

The third of the levels of aggression in the couple is what is known as "direct aggression", where constant and extreme abuse has been reached.

When these levels of aggression occur in the couple, physical aggression usually occurs continuously, and may be daily, as well as threats of all kinds (for example, blackmail threats). In these cases, it is common for the abused person to feel intimidated because of the fear of suffering more aggression from her partner.

In these cases, the rest of the characteristic behaviors of the other two levels of aggression in the couple that we saw previously, so we can see that we would be facing the most serious level of mistreatment and harassment that can exist in the partner. Too very cruel aggressive behaviors could occur, as would be the case of vicarious violence, which occurs when it is intended to harm the partner through violent behavior towards a loved one (for example, her son).

There are high-profile examples in the news of vicarious violence in which a parent has kidnapped the children in order to cause suffering to her ex-partner, having come in some cases to the murder of their children, which demonstrates the cruelest and most ruthless expression possible of all levels of aggression in the partner.

In these cases it is essential that the abused party end their relationship before it's too late and seek help. The most frequent thing in these cases is that the affected party needs help at a legal level (for example, by a lawyer and/or an association that collaborates in case of partner violence), having to file a complaint at the police station, and also the help of a mental health professional, either a psychologist or a psychiatrist.