The 4 Psychological Effects of Survivor Guilt

It is usual that, when dealing with cases of people with terminal illnesses, there is talk of the extent to which we have become accustomed to taking for granted the possibility of to continue living, as if the fact of being able to live many more decades were something that is given to us by default and in which it is not even worth stopping to think.

Seen in perspective, it makes sense that most people experience their own lives in this way: since the only constant from birth is the fact of being alive, this becomes ignored, fading with the rest of the things we see around us and associate with what is simply there regardless of our existence: the oceans, the mountains, the stars, etc

However, there are people who experience a feeling that goes in the opposite direction: they perceive the fact of being alive not only as something that should not be taken for granted, but as a luxury or even a privilege that does not correspond to them, a mistake of the Universe. Something unfair, with which they are not satisfied.

This phenomenon is what has been called "survivor's guilt.", and in this article I will briefly explain what it consists of.

• Related article: "What is guilt and how can we manage this feeling?"

What is survivor's guilt?

Survivor guilt, sometimes also known as survivor syndrome, is an emotional disturbance that occurs in people who feel guilty for being alive after having gone through a traumatic experience that, in turn, led to other people's deaths.

Technically, it is not an officially recognized psychopathology in the diagnostic manuals of psychiatry or clinical psychology, but rather it is described as part of the symptomatology of post-traumatic stress (that is, one of the consequences of a specific mental disorder).

There are two main types of survivor's guilt. On the one hand, there is the variant in which the person feels guilty for, from her point of view, not having done everything possible to make one or more people survive in a dangerous situation.

On the other hand, there are cases in which the person feels guilty even though objectively I couldn't have done anything to protect the life of other people (in this second type, the feeling of guilt is more diffuse and difficult to express in logical terms, but it does not have to be less intense for that).

• You may be interested: "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: causes and symptoms"

What is the cause of this alteration?

Survivor guilt is caused by a combination of three psychological elements.

On the one hand, the emotional imprint left on the person by a certain traumatic event, such as a traffic accident, a natural disaster with moral victims, an attack in the context of a war, etc. These types of situations relatively easily generate the disorder that is at the root of survivor's guilt: post-traumatic stress disorder. The person suffers a strong emotional reaction associated with anxiety and anguish every time these memories are acted out in his mind, to the point that he experiences intrusive thoughts and "flashbacks" related to those experiences of his past of her

On the other hand, it also participates in survivor's guilt a cognitive bias called “just world theory”: it is a tendency to assume that what happens around us happens or should happen through moral principles; that is to say, it leads us to presuppose that the world tends towards justice, towards a balance in which the good compensates for the bad that happens (as if what we consider to be good or bad were integrated into the laws natural).

Third, the third psychological element that is among the causes of survivor's guilt is a self-esteem imbalance. Noticing how that traumatic experience draws our attention to it (leading us to evoke those memories again and again in a very intense and painful way) and at the same time detecting that this event was not fair, the person has a hard time seeing herself in a good light, since she is constantly questioning her value or "the good" that she has to offer the world and others. the rest.

• Related article: "Just World Theory: Do We Get What We Deserve?"

How does this emotional disturbance affect people?

The main effects of survivor's guilt are the ones I describe below.

1. Tendency to constantly review your past

People who experience this disorder can only find some relief in dwell on his memories and consciously manipulate them, fantasizing about what it would have been like to behave appropriately at the decisive moment. But this dynamic leads to spending much more time still suffering from reliving those memories from a perspective marked by pessimism and guilt.

• Related article: "Do you really know what self-esteem is?"

2. Tendency to constantly compare

The person is driven to think very often if your life or your existence is worthwhile compared to that of other people in your present or in your past.

3. self-destructive tendencies

Survivor's guilt is one of the psychological elements linked to suicidal ideation and self-harm or "self-punishment". Of course, self-harm does not usually have the objective of committing suicide, but "punishing" and momentarily silence the discomfort generating the mirage that justice is being done.

4. Problems managing personal relationships

Since survivor's guilt has to do with personal relationships from the past, it also It greatly affects the way in which the person relates to others in the present. It is hard for her to make friends and express herself honestly with her loved ones, because she feels alienated and unable to connect with others (among other things, because she thinks she doesn't deserve it).

• Related article: "How to make friends and deepen your relationships, in 7 steps"

Do you want to have professional psychological assistance?

If you need support from a psychology professional, I invite you to contact me.

My name is Tomás Santa Cecilia and I specialize in the cognitive-behavioral intervention model: I work helping adults, adolescents and companies or other organizations with needs in the field of emotional well-being and relationship management personal. You can count on my services both in person in Madrid and through the online mode by video call.