I can't stop thinking: possible causes and solutions

Think of a white bear. Now, stop thinking about him. You've got it? Probably not. It is very difficult to deliberately stop thinking about something. The human mind does not have a magic button to remove a thought from the plane of consciousness. We'll just have to wait for it to go away on its own.

In our day to day there are many intrusive thoughts that can invade our minds. Some do it for only a few minutes, while others, more worrying, keep us thinking about them for hours. and hours, they cause us discomfort and, the more we try to make them go away, the more strongly they stick to our awareness.

"I can't stop thinking" is the reality that frustrates many who can't get rid of ideas and images of disturbing content. Their worries, obsessions and ruminations dominate them. Let's see what they can do.

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I can't stop thinking: understanding this psychological problem

The thoughts that come to mind involuntarily are known as

intrusive thoughts. These are ideas or images that come to mind without coming to mind, either because we have seen or heard something that has woken them up or because they have simply appeared. Having them is something completely normal and, at first, we should not worry because from time to time ideas come to mind without us wanting them.

However, we must not ignore the fact that intrusive thoughts are precisely the fuel they use. psychological processes such as worries, obsessions, and rumination. They are ideas and images that are repeated with an echo inside our skull and, if they make us uncomfortable and we try to fight them so that they leave us alone, it turns out that they become stronger. What you try to stop thinking, you think even more intensely.

"I can't stop thinking." This is the recurring phrase in those who have been caught in a maelstrom of recurring intrusive thoughts. Worries and obsessions flood your mind, making you turn over and over to the same topic. Sometimes, the discomfort caused by these involuntary thoughts is so great and the feeling of lack of control is so demotivating that takes away the desire to do anything, such as going out with friends or enjoying a series of TV.

What can we do to stop thinking? We already anticipated that it is difficult, and that it all boils down to being lucky enough that intrusive ideas do not reappear, in addition to going to psychotherapy.

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ego dystonic thoughts

Everyone can experience intrusive thoughts. It is normal. They appear from time to time and, just as they have come, they leave. However, sometimes they can become very disturbing and cause us discomfort. This is especially the case when the intrusive thoughts are ego-dystonic, that is, they conflict with the individual's values ​​or self-concept. The person perceives them as unacceptable.

The ideas and images that we do not want and that we perceive do not leave us alone can bring with them an irrational interpretation of them. As we do not stop thinking about them and we get frustrated because this is so, we begin to have thoughts related, generally with a negative theme, that all they do is further establish the annoying idea original. It brings out all kinds of dysfunctional beliefs about it like, for example, "it's bad to have these thoughts", "if I think about it, it means I will do it", "what happens to me is not normal"...

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Obsessions, worries and rumination

When we cannot stop thinking about something, it is because we are immersed in psychological processes that do not stop turning the same idea or image over and over. Depending on the content of thought, we can mainly speak of three phenomena:

obsessions

Obsessions are intrusive and repetitive thoughts. It may be about ideas or images that are unwanted by the individual and that he considers unacceptable, causing him discomfort because he realizes that he has no control over them. Wanting to get rid of these ideas, the person tries to put into practice various actions with the intention of controlling them, without any success.

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concerns

Worries are anticipatory thoughts of what might happen in the future.. As its name suggests, they are “pre-occupations”, it is to keep the mind occupied with something that has not yet happened, and that we are not sure if it will happen. Negative consequences are anticipated and it is a matter of finding a solution to certain problems.

It must be said that the concerns they are not pathological by themselves. In fact, they can be considered as adaptive as long as they are used to prevent or solve real problems. Once these problems are fixed, the concern should cease to exist.

However, worries become problematic when they lose control and lead to a whole train of thoughts about the bad that could happen in the future, considering scenarios extremely catastrophic. In this case, we would talk about concerns with surrealist content, which deal with extremely unlikely events, but that the person cannot stop thinking about and fears really happen.

rumination

Rumination focuses on past events. It is the fact that the person dwells on it over and over again what happened to him, mistakes he made, significant losses, missed opportunities or things he would have liked to do that he did not do. It is a psychological process that is accompanied by assessments and judgments about oneself, usually very critical.

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The White Bear Problem: Why We Can't Stop Thinking About Something

In psychology we call as "the problem of the white bear" to the ironic situation in which deliberate attempts to suppress a thought only increase the probability that it will reappear. The name of such a peculiar problem is due to the following example: if we told someone to think of a bear target, and then we told him to stop thinking about it, it is very unlikely that he will achieve this second guideline. The reason for this is that we cannot stop our thoughts just like that, and all we will do is think about it even more.

If this inability to stop thinking about what we think occurs normally, this is increased when we are emotionally tense and anxious. Anxiety is an experience that predisposes us to have more intrusive thoughts and that they end up becoming obsessions, worries and ruminations. Since we cannot control them, we find ourselves more nervous and, in turn, more of these ideas appear.

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How to stop thinking about something you don't want to think about

Stop thinking about something that obsesses or worries us is complicated. Human beings do not have an off button for our minds. Fortunately, there are a number of strategies that can help us avoid thinking so much about what currently occupies our minds and causes us discomfort. So, if there is something that obsesses you, it is important that you take into account the following points.

1. Relativize thought

Regardless of the type of intrusive thought that invades our mind, a good way to weaken its effect is to relativize it. They are thoughts, ideas and images that are inside our head, not outside.. They are not facts nor do they define us or what may happen. Whatever the thought in question…. Having these types of thoughts does not make us a better or worse person and it does not mean that they will happen.

2. Accept that we can't stop them

Trying to stop thinking about something when we are thinking about it does not work. As much as we tell ourselves "stop thinking about this" or resort to similar behaviors, it is difficult for the thought to stop at the moment of giving. We must accept that we cannot stop them at the moment.

This does not mean that we cannot stop thinking about it, simply that we must understand that when the intrusive idea appears it will be there, it will occupy our consciousness for a moment. It will be gone. Trying to fight against it at the moment of giving itself the only thing it does is keep it more present and, therefore, think about it more.

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3. manage our emotions

One of the factors that most attracts recurring ideas is being emotionally tense, especially being stressed. The management of emotions is a fundamental aspect to have psychological well-being, and it has a great impact on what comes to mind. If our mood is negative, negative ideas will come to our mind and it is likely that we will not stop thinking about them.

On the contrary, if we are in a good mood, it is more difficult for us to think about unpleasant things. As our mind will already be occupied with various positive ideas and feelings, we are not going to occupy it with thoughts that harm us such as obsessions, worries and ruminations of all kinds and condition.