Egodystonic: what is it and what are the differences with being egosyntonic?

Be yourself. Do what we think is right, regardless of what others say. These two phrases may seem practically synonymous, and they often go hand in hand in such a way that thanks to their combination we can live the life we ​​want to live, a full and coherent life with itself same.

And yet, for many people at some point or aspect of their lives, both elements can to contradict itself: it is possible that a part of our being and our beliefs enter into conflict. These elements or parts are considered ego-dystonic, a term that we are going to talk about throughout this article.

Egodystonic: definition of this term

The concept of egodystonia, from which the adjective egodystonia starts, refers to the existence of some characteristic or element which generates discomfort or discomfort to the person or persons who possess them due to the fact that it contradicts or is incongruous with the values, way of being or thinking or the beliefs of said persons.

As the prefix ego implies, this element contrary to one's own beliefs is part or product of one's own being: it is a denial of the self

. It generally refers to the existence of acts, attitudes, thoughts or even physical aspects made or held by a person and that are contrary to what their system of values ​​or beliefs admits. Then create a cognitive dissonance, a discomfort or suffering derived from the capture of the incongruity between one thought and another, and which can lead to the acts or thoughts maintained being deeply criticized internally.

This can lead to a frustrating situation that if repeated frequently or if you cannot express yourself or resolve the disagreement, will lead to the experience of stress and that can even lead to suffering some psychopathology. Thus, something egodystonic is going to be problematic as long as something is not done to make it stop being so.

The opposite concept: egosyntonic

Understanding the concept of egodystonia is much easier if we also value its opposite: egosynchrony. Egosyntonic is defined as any thought, attribute or action possessed or performed by a person that is consistent with the scale of values ​​and beliefs that this person maintains..

Thus, the ego-syntonic is what results from following one's own convictions: what each one of us considers to be correct. The fact that our thoughts, attributes, ways of being or doing and concrete acts are ego-syntonic can make their existence suppose emotional well-being (although it can lead to negative reactions or repercussions from the environment), especially if it is something that requires us to make an effort. However, given that it is what we consider "it should be", it is also very common that often we do not pay attention to them (since there is no inconsistency) and even that they generate indifference.

Although obviously the ego-dystonic causes us suffering, the truth is that it has something positive: indicates that there is a dissociation between belief and situation/thought/action, in such a way that it allows us to value the element in question and/or the beliefs behind the conflict and to be able to re-evaluate them and work to ensure that well-being exists. If he hadn't said discomfort, trying to change something would be difficult at least since there was no motivation for it.

What can cause something to be/become ego-dystonic?

The causes of the existence of ego-dystonic elements can be highly variable. They can be behind from the fear of living or carrying out the actions or thoughts despite not wanting to do them, or either the fear of being judged or of the repercussions of doing something that we do want and is in line with our to be.

Other possible reasons are the belief in the fusion or equality between thought and action (considering that it is the same to think something do it), the overvaluation of a specific act or thought in relation to a scale of values ​​or the existence of a high self-demand. Personality is another factor to consider.

Likewise, in all or almost all cases there is also an influence of values ​​and cultural learning. Another element that can greatly affect parenting and parenting models, as well as the learning of behavior models where self-criticism prevails. Obedience to authority or the effect of perceived social pressure (whether real or not) also has a great influence on whether something can be or become ego-dystonic.

Situations in which it can appear

Although the term egodystonic is not frequently used, the truth is that what it implies happens constantly and in a wide variety of situations and conditions. Here are four examples of this.

1. Socio-cultural conditioning linked to sex or sexuality

Education and the sociocultural vision of things that have been transmitted to us throughout our lives can also contribute to emergence of ego-dystonic elements, something especially relevant when the problem is found in elements that are part of our being.

It is the case of the sexual orientation: those with a sexual orientation other than heterosexual have seen that traditionally their sexual preferences have been attacked and persecuted, considered sinful or sick. The same goes for those with a gender or sexual identity other than cisgender (as in the case of people transsexuals), persecuted until not so long ago for having an identity different from the one that was considered proper due to their sex of their birth.

That is why some homosexual, bisexual or transsexual people, among others, may experience their sexual orientation or gender identity in an aversive and ego-dystonic way, as something negative and/or shameful. This supposes that they hide and deny a very relevant part of their being, something that can lead to emergence of isolation and not living a free and full life, in addition to being able to suffer problems like depression, anxiety or other psychological disturbances.

2. Eating disorder

A case of mental disorder in which the existence of egodystonia can be easily observed is in Eating disordersuch as anorexia and bulimia. These two disorders involve the existence of serious perceptual distortions with respect to one's own body, as well as fear of gaining weight and reduced or altered intake.

Thus, for those (and those, although less frequently) affected by this type of disorder, their own weight or body figure would be ego-dystonic, since it is contrary to what they would like to have.

3. Obsessive-compulsive disorder

OCD or obsessive-compulsive disorder It is one of the mental disorders in which ego-dystonic elements appear. Specifically, the obsessive thoughts that people who suffer from this alteration have, which are defined as constantly appearing in the psyche and are experienced as intrusive and contrary to his will, they are usually totally contrary to his beliefs and values, something that makes such thoughts unacceptable and unacceptable for him. patient.

In fact, it is precisely the fact that they are ego-dystonic that makes them arouse great anxiety, something that in most cases leads to compulsions to avoid them.

Our own personality can also sometimes be ego-dystonic. For example, we may have a pattern of behavior and thought in which we are highly submissive, very inhibited, very rigid or have an excessive tendency to risk. This may not be bothersome to the person, but in some cases the subject may find great unhappiness and suffering in maintaining these traits.

It may be the case of a person who is always submissive out of fear, or who needs and depends on approval of others, but really wish they were more independent or did not need others to feel good. In these cases we would also be facing an ego-dystonic characteristic. This is common, for example, in a large part of personality disorders, such as in avoidant personality disorder, that of personality by dependency, the obsessive, the limit or the histrionic.

What to change?

We have said before that the ego-dystonic is a problem for the person unless something is done to stop it from being so. In this sense, there are two main options: either the scale of values ​​is changed in such a way that we make it consistent with the lived reality, so that what generated us discomfort no longer does so as it is now permissible in the new way of seeing things, or the action or thought is modified in such a way that it becomes consistent with the scale of values current.

Which option to take can be complex to decide, and a large number of variables can affect it. However, we must bear in mind that we are talking about a part of the being itself, so the most adaptive strategy is generally to seek make a change in the system of beliefs and values ​​in such a way that we can fully accept ourselves and make that part cease to be egodystonic.

Thus, in the examples given, the person with egodystonic sexuality should not hide her sexuality or fight against it, but change the beliefs that prevent her from living it freely. In the case of anorexia or OCD, although they require treatment, it should be noted that part of the solution would pass in the first case for accepting one's own body figure (something that would prevent the search for weight loss) or in the second, having had aversive thoughts without coming to consider them unacceptable and without the self-recrimination and the guilt that it generates turning him into obsession.

Now, sometimes what needs to be changed are acts or ways of acting that are incongruous not with our beliefs but with who or how we are. In this case, it would be advisable to make the change in the problem behavior in question. For example, a person excessively inhibited or submissive because of learning or the imposition of others may try to train assertiveness and social skills because said inhibition is against their way of being.

Bibliographic references:

• Triglia, Adrian; Regader, Bertrand; Garcia-Allen, Jonathan (2016). psychologically speaking. Paid.
• Vidales, Ishmael (2004). General psychology. Mexico: Lima.