The Nunchi Method: The Korean Cultural Phenomenon That Helps You Be Happy

There are many words in each language that refer to a concept related to the search for happiness, a method that gives us greater well-being or a strategy to live better in society and in tune with the same.

The Swedes have “lagom”, the Danes have “hygge” and the Japanese have “ikigai”. All and many more curious words resemble a method that Koreans have been using for centuries to live in harmony with their hive society: the nunchi method.

Very popular in the West in recent years as a result of the greater diffusion of approaches related to emotional intelligence, the nunchi has become something fundamental to know. Let's find out what it is and how to apply it.

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What is the Nunchi method?

The nunchi method can be understood as a kind of Korean common sense and, at the same time, a skill acquired throughout life. This term, so new and exotic for us as Westerners, is nothing more than a Korean word whose concept is practically synonymous with Emotional Intelligence. The nunchi or noonchi (눈치)

In this Asian language, it means “eye force” or “eye measurement” and is highly valued as a quality in Korea as a quality that makes it easier to build happy and satisfying relationships..

It is the art of understanding the mental and emotional universe of others, understanding how they feel and what they think in order to know what is the best way to act according to the situation.

This has been part of Korean culture since time immemorial, with some saying that it has been around for thousands of years. We cannot say that this is so, but it is something that it is known that he has been integrated into Korean society for a long time, because already in the 17th century it stood out as those who were skilled in that "eye force" it was worth them to achieve social success.

It is an idea that highlights the importance of being aware of the emotions of others in order to live better, be happier and progress socially and economically.

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Nunchi: Korean Emotional Intelligence

The nunchi method has come to us in the West through the Korean-American journalist Euny Hong. This author has managed to explain very well to the Western public something that has been practiced for centuries in Korea and that in the Asian country is seen as common sense. Hong explains it in her book “The Power of Nunchi: The Korean Secret to Happiness and Success” (2019). With this publication she has contributed to the fact that here we know that what Daniel Goleman popularized in the 1990s and that seemed so innovative in that decade, the Koreans had long applying it.

Emotional intelligence has always been important in both the East and the West. The fact that we have given it this name recently does not mean that it did not exist or was necessary before. However, the nunchi is a Korean ancestral obligation, a social imperative that determines success and failure in a hive society. Having a good nunchi is to succeed in life. With it, you can establish good relationships based on trust, something basic to prosper in the business world and other areas.

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Some examples of nunchi

For some, that we are talking about a Korean method to increase happiness and well-being may surprising because Korea has earned a certain reputation for not taking special care of the mental health of its citizens. Apart from this, it is true that the nunchi method it has served the millions of Koreans who use it daily to have a fuller and easier life because, by capturing and knowing how to handle social signals, it is easier to relate to other people and easier to avoid unfortunate situations.

It is especially used in the business world. In the mindset of the average Korean citizen, the nunchi method is key to facilitating any type of business transaction and interaction. and, taking into account that their idea of ​​happiness is based on social and work success, this method is essential in society korean Although they are still a capitalist country, South Korea is a nation where the opinion of others and the common benefit are valued above their own. They are the opposite of an individualistic society.

This can already be seen with how children behave. In many Korean schools there is no janitor as children are raised to understand that if they see dirt in the school, they should take the initiative to grab a broom and sweep themselves. The idea is that if they see that the school is run down and they don't like it, they should also understand that others don't like seeing the school dirty either. Therefore, to avoid both them and the others being uncomfortable, it is better to remove that crap as soon as possible and, thus, everyone is happy.

We would have another example with the following scene. Let's imagine that we have a mother with her son waiting in line at an all-you-can-eat restaurant. The child is hungry and says, out loud, "I'm hungry!" We, with our Western mentality, would surely miss something like “Pobrecito…” or “Soon you will be able to eat, darling”. A Korean mother wouldn't even think of that, but she would say something like “Look at that line of people waiting, do you think they're not hungry like you? You will eat when you have to, like them”.

We could give many more examples, but the idea is clear. It implies that it is already taught from an early age that others have feelings, emotions, thoughts and desires like and that, if when we feel or think in a certain way we want to be treated in a certain way determined, We must also think that others want their own.

Having a good nunchi can help us fit in and create positive social connections, achieving greater success in emotional and work relationships. However, this idea should not be confused with manipulation. This is not the objective of the nunchi, but to seek a better atmosphere for everyone, while manipulation implies get our own benefit by making others do things for us, even if that means some kind of detriment. It puts the emphasis on building relationships and moves away from individualism, putting the needs of others at the same level as its own.

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Being connected with the social environment

As we said, the nunchi can be translated as "eye force". It does not mean this in the literal sense, but it does relate to it. it implies see what is happening around us and be connected with every gesture, stimulus and process to understand it, go beyond what is apparent, put yourself in the place of others and act accordingly. In this way, we adapt better to the situation, we have more capacity to build more significant ties and we contribute to the well-being of others and ourselves in a better society.

For example, if in a work office there is a worker who is separated from the group, having a good nunchi implies understanding what happens to this colleague and facilitating his integration. In this situation, there may be several alternatives. The worker may want to be part of the group, but he does not dare because he is ashamed or fears that if he takes the initiative, the others will reject him and he is not willing to feel that way. But it could also be that he just needs his own space, that now is not a good time to interact with him.

Having a good nunchi will imply seeing what the specific case is and acting accordingly. If he is the first, invite him to join the group, we want to have him close.

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an interpersonal skill

In her book, Euny Hong tells us about the nunchi method as a soft skill and recommended to be present in any work environment. Soft skills, also called "soft skills", are a set of social skills, communication, personality traits and other attributes that make it easier for us to work and relate well with others.

Among these soft skills we would find, in addition to the nunchi, empathy, negotiation and resolution of problems, skills which can also be considered as part of the nunchi method itself.

If there is something that stands out a lot in Korea, it is not the fact of having nunchi or not, but knowing how to apply it. This translates into be quick to assess, understand the context and emotional needs of others, and know how to respond as quickly as possible. In itself, it could be said that the nunchi method is the set of knowing how to have common sense to apply the fundamental soft skills in the social day-to-day life of the average citizen Korean.

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How to improve our nunchi?

We note that the nunchi, at least in modern Korea, is very work and business oriented. As we have mentioned, in the South Korean mentality, happiness lies in social and work success, in addition to contributing to society more than in obtaining personal and individual achievements. Korea is an emerging power and its nunchi method is probably one of the tools that has made it easier for this Asian tiger to rise to such power.

The nunchi develops knowing how to connect with people, understand them, create bonds of trust. It is also to achieve good alliances with friends and the couple. Some keys to activate our nunchi are the following.

The first thing, which we have already been highlighting, is to observe everything that happens around us. Of course, we must look at everything that surrounds us from silence and appreciation. There are many behaviors that can make us assume how a person feels, such as their gestures, tone of voice, movements, eye contact...

In addition to this, active listening is essential, without interrupting or thinking about how to answer while the other person is speaking. Everyone wants to feel heard when they tell us about their problems or concerns, which does not help nothing belittle him or not give more importance to what we have to think than he or she already think.