The psychological changes that occur after motherhood

Motherhood is an experience that, although it can provide a very exciting experience, can also go hand in hand with somewhat more negative changes or emotional imbalances that are difficult to manage. That is why perinatal psychology intervenes not only before and during pregnancy, but its functions accompany fathers and mothers also during the first months after birth.

In this article we will see what they are the main emotional, cognitive and relational changes that a woman can experience after becoming a mother.

• Related article: "Perinatal psychology: what is she and what functions does she perform?"

Why the fact of being a mother can generate rapid psychological changes?

With motherhood coincide two types of transformations in the life of women. On the one hand, a process of changing your body, which readapts to the absence of a fetus in the uterus and all that this entails from the anatomical and hormonal point of view.

For the other, a change of roles: with the appearance of the role of mother, it is necessary to include in the day to day many care responsibilities, which in addition they are often unbalanced compared to the father (if there is one) because of unequal gender dynamics.

This combination of factors, which in turn have a wide variety of ramifications and possible causes of problems, can make the first steps of motherhood challenging, or even accompanied by a drastic reduction in health mental. In cases of this kind, the problem is not the fact of having gone through a birth or the routines of care and upbringing of the child, but other complications in the way of living that experience. That is why With professional psychological help it is possible to overcome this kind of difficulties..

And, on the other hand, we must not forget that not everything is negative: many of the psychological changes that accompany motherhood are very exciting and stimulating, as we will see later.

• You may be interested: "Resilience: definition and 10 habits to enhance it"

Frequent psychological changes after being a mother

Here we are going to focus on the most common changes; yes, some of them rarely occur at the same time, and they do not have to be present in the maternity experience of all mothers.

1. Trouble coping with stress

Stress arises both from the need to take on more tasks, and from the fear that something will go wrong.. Ultimately, babies are totally dependent on adults and are highly vulnerable to injury, what must be added is that they cannot express clearly what happens to them when they suffer a complication of Health. This ambiguity and lack of information makes some mothers adopt a predisposition to pessimism or to the belief that the baby is constantly warning that something is wrong.

• Related article: "Types of stress and their triggers"

2. Illusion for motherhood

The fact of having concrete goals in the task of raising and educating the child makes many mothers feel very happy about this new project, which offers them incentives in the short, medium and long term. There are some mechanisms of hormone release that predispose them to feel satisfaction during eye contact with the baby and physical contact with him.

3. Insecurities associated with the role of mother

As I have anticipated, gender roles leave an important mark on the experience of motherhood. Mothers feel pressured to be exemplary in their caregiving tasks, and this it can make them feel guilty or their self-esteem suffer if they think they are “not up to the task” in the eyes of society, even though in her opinion they give the baby everything she needs.

4. Increased need to be alone

The workload makes it very common for mothers to start Appreciate loneliness much more, the possibility of getting away from everything and everyone and having time for oneself. And it is that these kinds of moments become less common, which also makes it difficult to maintain hobbies that require introspection and solitude.

5. A rapid evolution of your identity

Many women who have a baby for the first time come to consider the concept of "mother" as a core part of their identity., something that they had not considered that could happen. In other words, they begin to want to interact mainly with other mothers, they consult the media related to motherhood and family maintenance, they let everyone know that they are mothers and they express it clearly on their social networks... This means that in some cases friendships change in a matter of a few months.

• You may be interested: "Self-concept: what is it and how is it formed?"

Uncommon psychological changes after being a mother

The change processes that we will see next are relatively less frequent than the previous ones, but some of them are far from rare. Let's see what they are.

1. Guilty feeling

Some mothers feel guilty not only because they feel that they do not manage to tackle all the responsibilities of their new role (something very common), but for not feeling enough enthusiasm for the recent motherhood or enough connection with the baby. This is due in part to the system of strong expectations that revolve around the mother's role as caregiver, one of the forms of manifestation of sexism. The simple fact of not feeling a qualitative emotional change in oneself before and after becoming a mother may be enough to assume that something has been done wrong.

2. Postpartum depression

Postpartum depression, which it is estimated to affect around 15% of women who have had a babyIt has biological and psychosocial causes.

After birth, there are a series of rapid changes in the patterns of hormone release in the body, and this can cause an imbalance that is expressed in a mismatch in the state of the cheer up.

But in addition, to this we must add the need to psychologically manage everything that happened during the hours of childbirth and just after, with the fear of knowing if the baby is okay or sick, and the stress of going home and starting to live in a totally new. All of this can be very emotionally upsetting for the mother, and In this state of vulnerability, it is not uncommon for a “domino effect” to occur with other types of problems and challenges..

• Related article: "Postpartum Depression: Causes, Symptoms and Treatment"

3. body dysmorphia

Some mothers feel very bad about their bodies after giving birth, and are always aware of whether As the weeks go by, the skin regains its firmness, her breasts return to the way they were before, etc. This gives rise to obsessive thoughts and self-checking behaviors which, in extreme cases, facilitate the appearance of body dysmorphic disorder.

Are you looking for psychological support in therapy?

If you are interested in having psychological assistance for mothers, please contact me.

I am a General Health Psychologist and I work with people of all ages. The sessions can be carried out in person at my office in Valencia or through the online therapy modality.