The happiness trap
The truth is that happiness is not what we seek. And it's a shame, because all of society is focused on it, in a kind of frantic search for a state that few know about.
Despite how much is said about it, very few people reach it, and those few end up losing it. And that's because there is a much more lasting and stable source of well-being.
But before we meet her, let's see what the ancient Greeks had to tell us about it.
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The facets of happiness and human flourishing
For the inhabitants of Ancient Greece, Happiness (“Hedonia”) was a path, but not the best, at a time when the social aspect was more important for the survival of city-states.
They thought that pursuing personal happiness was something secondary, childish, without much sense. Maybe it's because feeling good was only part of the way, a part of the previous process before doing what you have to do. They knew better than us that pursuing personal happiness is a selfish process that ultimately leaves you empty.
against it, they opposed the "Eudaimonia", which would come to be the development or human flourishing, feeling good and doing good, the search for direction and meaning in life. Being part of a larger context (whether or not they have religious beliefs). We are talking about creating a life according to our personal nature within a social context.
Returning to our time, we find a growing existential emptiness: we are discovering that all the formulas that have been sold to us from advertising do not work. Our life is not fuller for consuming everything that is put in front of us.
As a curious fact, it has been discovered that happiness or the lack of it is not a good predictor for suicide. But the feeling of empty and meaningless life is.
We need a sense of meaning something that answers the eternal question of “why” that so often assails us.
And this is where our journey of search begins, perhaps the most important journey of our lives, a journey that it is known where it begins, but not where it ends, a trip as suitable for religious people as for people atheists
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The journey of self discovery
Let's not be fooled: the journey of self-discovery and search for meaning is pleasant, it does not have to be painful.
And whether we like it or not, the answer lies in developing the best of us according to our deepest principlesFinding the true meaning of our life.
And it is precisely here where many "meaning merchants" do their business and offer us their master formula. But it still doesn't work. Because nobody knows why each person has different needs and talents: some speak of "God" and others speak of "Cosmic Lottery".
Because what really works is a process controlled by the person himself, in which he gradually discovers what his authentic values, your talents and gifts, what makes you feel fulfilled. And little by little, with an eye also on the real world, to materialize that vision. Thus, a sense of “meaning” or “vital mission” develops.
The surprising thing is that when people find their “life mission”, they always say something like “deep down I already knew it”.
And this is available to anyone who wants to do it: there are accessible and controlled methodologies. It is up to each one to find them.
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There are no routes already traced
From the outset, it is always healthy to distrust all those people who tell us that they know what we need, that they have the answer to our great vital question. And that's because it is something personal and unique. Each person is a unique combination of talents, values and needs and has to find the answer for himself/herself.
And vital well-being plays a role in this process, a preliminary role: you can learn to live with well-being, but as something prior to making our contribution to the world.
That is the key to a life with meaning and purpose, a life worth living. And it is what is so lacking in our society.
Perhaps that is the real challenge of our time.