How to be emotionally strong: 10 practical tips

Emotional strength is the ability that allows us to face different situations, properly managing and controlling our emotions in order to achieve our goals.

It is not about not feeling emotions, but about feeling them and being able to find the balance between the positive and negative ones in order to benefit from them.. There are different strategies that can be useful to train emotional toughness.

In this article We will talk about what emotional strength is and what strategies we can use to increase this capacity.

• Related article: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection"

What is emotional strength?

By stating that someone is emotionally strong, we were not referring to showing intense emotions, quite the contrary. We will consider that a subject has emotional strength when he is able to manage his emotions and face different situations without his emotional state becoming unbalanced.

Although it is impossible not to be influenced by our emotions (and it would not be functional if this happened), it is beneficial to achieve a certain control of them. To be able to assess our emotions from a distance and try to have a more rational and objective view of the situation, since this In this way, it will be easier for us to avoid getting stuck in unimportant problems or to effectively solve those that may have solution.

It is normal that in the face of stressful situations, in the face of adverse events, at first we react badly or show ourselves affected. However, in order to deal with the most problematic events and get out of crisis situations, it is essential that we act by learning to manage our psychological processes and not be passive.

In a term more closely linked to emotional strength, it is the resilience, understood as the ability shown by some subjects to develop and progress favorably despite crisis situations. These individuals who are resilient are able to show greater emotional balance in the face of stressful events: losing their job, having to emigrate, etc.

Thus, emotional strength allows us to adequately face the different problems or difficult events in our lives. The only way to overcome a difficult situation is that we ourselves take control of our lives and really want to improve. Identifying and accepting the problem is essential for the process of change.

• You may be interested: "Emotional management: 10 keys to dominate your emotions"

Strategies to be an emotionally strong person

As we have already seen, emotional strength is considered a capacity, and as such not all subjects present it in the same way. Obviously, not all people are emotionally strong, and there are some who will be more predisposed than others. But Although there may be genetic influence, this is not decisive, and it is possible to train this ability to achieve a higher level and mastery of it.

So let's see what techniques can be useful to get stronger emotionally.

1. know yourself

To gain emotional strength, the first thing is to know our emotions and be aware of them. In this way, it is necessary that we do not run away from ourselves and spend time getting to know ourselves, knowing how we are, what our state is and what is the appropriate way to proceed.

We usually live only focused on the outside, on everything around us, without paying attention to what happens to us inside. Without self-knowledge, it is very unlikely that we will be able to adequately deal with situations that involve a challenge, since we will not understand the reason for our reactions nor will we be able to anticipate them in a certain way. degree.

• Related article: "Self-knowledge: definition and 8 tips to improve it"

2. Accept any kind of sensation

Denying or prohibiting us from having negative feelings or emotions is not functional, given that contrary to what was intended, this denial ends up giving more importance to negative emotions and does not let them disappear.

In the same way, negative emotions are not dysfunctional by themselves, and they help us to know how we are by signaling to us that it is time to make a change if we want to improve. That is, they act as an indicator of our state.

• You may be interested: "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): principles and characteristics"

3. See difficulties as challenges

An appropriate way to deal with the difficulties and complicated situations in which we find ourselves is to pose them as challenges, as objectives that we must overcome. It is common that in a stressful situation we block ourselves and do not know how to act. It is at this point that it is important to stay active and face the situation by seeing what possibilities for improvement exist and what are the different alternatives that we can adopt.

Also point out that there are times when the situation is out of our hands and we cannot do anything to change it, the best option in this case will consist of working on our emotions and modifying the perception and assessment that we make of the acts. It is useless to waste our strength on something that is invariable.

4. Be flexible

Many times we are not able to solve a problem because we are not able to see it in a different way and we only value a single possibility, without taking into account all the multiple alternatives what can there be Emotional strength is linked to mental flexibility, with the ability to distance ourselves from our emotions, from the situation in which we find ourselves and how we feel in order to propose another way of conceiving the most functional situation and with the greatest possibility of gets better.

Life is a continuum of new situations, some good and others not so good, not adapting to changes is an impediment for you to continue evolving and developing favorably.

• You may be interested: "Mental flexibility: what it is, what it is for and how to train it"

5. don't blame yourself for everything

We know that when faced with a problem it is functional to accept our part of the responsibility in order to face it. But this implication should not be understood as a way of blaming, since guilt itself is neither useful nor works, on many occasions it sinks us deeper instead of giving us strength to achieve improvement.

Not by continually punishing and blaming ourselves will we make the situation better. Subjects with emotional strength are aware of their actions and take responsibility for them, but always respecting and loving oneself. It is impossible to be strong if we do not allow ourselves to be.

6. Find a balance between the rational and the emotional

As we saw in the definition of emotional strength, in order to cope with different situations, one of the strategies used It consists of observing events with perspective in order to achieve greater control of our emotions and assess events more rationally. acts.

Both logic and emotions are necessary and functional for the correct development of our lives., but as with most variables, the optimum point will be equilibrium. That is, act with the influence of both, but without letting ourselves be carried away by only one of them.

7. fight for your goals

Don't let fear or insecurities paralyze you; being emotionally strong also implies facing our goals despite the adversities or difficulties that we may encounter. As we have seen before, difficulties should not be seen as insurmountable walls but as challenges that we can achieve.

We can have multiple targets placed sequentially, like this there will be some that will take longer to achieve and others that will require less complexity and will be achieved more easily. The latter help keep us motivated to achieve the former.

8. stay motivated

To achieve and maintain emotional strength, it is essential that we stay motivated, that we set goals and goals to achieve. To increase emotional strength it is essential to train self-motivation skills, to face the different situations that may occur and manage to overcome them and emerge stronger from them.

As we have already seen, we will not only pursue big goals, small goals are also essential to keep us active and strong to continue progressing.

• Related article: "Types of motivation: the 8 motivational sources"

9. also appreciate the positive

Sometimes, and more so when we are not having a good time, we only focus on the negative, without taking into account the positive events that happen to us. We know that in life not everything is positive or negative and we must be aware of this.

Seeing that positive events continue to happen, no matter how small, when we are in a bad moment, helps us stay motivated and continue to show us emotionally and mentally strong. For exercise our focus of attention, and that it is easier for us to value the good things, spend a few minutes at the end of the day to reflect and think about three positive things that have happened and what has been your contribution in they.

10. Get rid of negative influences that do not bring you

To achieve greater emotional and mental balance It is necessary that the environment that surrounds us is adequate. So, whenever you can, getting rid of everything that harms you and does not bring you anything good will contribute to your emotional balance. Get away from environments and people that destabilize you and do not help you to face and manage different situations optimally.