Biphobia: what it is, characteristics, examples, and how to overcome it

Despite the fact that progress has been made in terms of LGTBI + rights, there is still a lot to do. Lesbians, gays, transsexuals and bisexuals today continue to be victims of stigmatization and victimization.

Focusing on bisexual people, many still see them as half-gay, half-straight, people who are going through a phase or experimenting with their sexuality, there are those who believe that bisexuality does not exist but is the product of the confusion of those who say they are attracted to both sexes.

These and many more ideas are discriminatory and make up biphobia. We are going to see in more depth what it consists of, how it manifests itself and what we can do if we are bisexual people who deny their own sexuality.

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What is biphobia?

biphobia is discrimination against bisexual or “bi” people, who are romantically and erotically attracted to individuals of both sexes. Biphobic behaviors range from unfavorable attitudes towards bisexual people to violence in the form of bullying, harassment and assault. Biphobia is based on emotions such as contempt, fear and hatred towards bi people, and causes behaviors of exclusion and denial of the bi reality.

To understand in greater depth what biphobia is, we need to discuss a few key ideas about bisexuality. This is defined as the romantic, erotic and sexual attraction both people of the masculine sex and people of the feminine sex.

Although it is colloquially defined as the attraction to men and women, it is preferred to speak in terms of sex and non-gender because, within bisexuality, attraction to non-binary people would also be included and transgender. Some consider that this would actually be pansexuality, a subject of wide debate that we are not going to expose here.

A bisexual person can form several types of relationships:

• Bi male + female = hetero relationship
• Bi male + male = homo relationship
• Bi woman + woman = homo relationship
• Bi woman + man = hetero relationship

Regardless of the type of relationship, the bisexual person will remain so regardless of who they date. Does not change orientation by having more heterosexual or more homosexual relationships. Unfortunately, the ignorance of this reality leads people to show a whole series of mistaken and irrational beliefs about what bisexual people are like.

Despite the fact that much progress has been made in the rights of the LGTBI+ collective, the truth is that today there is still discriminatory behavior towards its members. Although bisexual people have noted great progress in terms of recognizing their sexuality, these have not been as noticeable as in the case of gays and lesbians. In fact, bisexuals are, on many occasions, victims of double discrimination: on the one hand by heterosexual people and, on the other, by homosexuals.

From the heterosexual side, bisexuals are perceived as people who are confused, who are going through a phase and that they are experimenting with their sexuality and that, sooner or later, it will pass and they will return to the heteronormality. On the homosexual side, bisexuals are seen as people who have not yet accepted their homosexuality, who are going through a transition phase or even that they are repressed homosexuals, homophobes who do not want to admit that they are gay or lesbian and they appear to the world as if they are "half-straight" so as not to disappoint their family.

These kinds of ideas and attitudes towards bisexuality are biphobic. Failure to recognize the possibility that a person may feel romantic and erotic attraction to sexual partners masculine and feminine sex is discriminatory behaviour, whether it is done out of ignorance or totally aware. The only thing bisexual people want is being able to love freely and be accepted by society, and especially for non-heteronormative people because, after all, they are also part of the group.

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Examples of biphobia

Some biphobic behaviors They are:

• Reject, discriminate, nullify and silence bisexuality through acts, words and gestures.
• Actively advocate that bisexuality is unnatural or illogical.
• Blaming bisexuals for transmitting diseases prejudicedly associated with one or another sexuality (p. g., passing HIV from homosexuals to heterosexuals)
• Believing that attraction can only be felt towards the opposite sex (this would include homophobia).
• Believing that attraction can only be felt towards one or the other sex.
• Believing that bisexuality is actually a phase, the result of a lack of clear sexual identity.
• Forcing a person to identify as either hetero or homosexual.

Misconceptions about bisexuality

The ideas that we will see below, although many times they are the result of ignorance, do not leave of being biphobic ideas that contribute to the stigmatization and discrimination of people bisexuals

1. 50% men and 50% women

One of the biggest misconceptions about bisexuals is that they like 50% men and 50% women.. This does not have to be the case and, in fact, in most cases it does not. It is true that bisexual people are attracted to both genders, but this does not mean that they do not have a certain preference towards one of them.

There are bisexual people who are more attracted to women than men, and vice versa. Bisexuality is not the fact that you like men and women equally, but that you can be attracted to both sexes. So if we talk in terms of percentages, a person who likes men and women 50/50 is just as bisexual as someone who prefers them 80/20 or 25/75.

What's more, these percentages can change throughout life. There will be times when a bisexual person prefers to have relationships with men and others when they will do so with women, without ceasing to be bisexual for it.

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2. They have unstable relationships and are looking for threesomes

Bisexual relationships can be just as unstable as those of homosexual and heterosexual people. What determines the stability, quality and duration of a relationship is not the sexuality of its members, but many other aspects that have little or nothing to do with whether you are bisexual or not.

It is also worth noting that bisexual people do not seek out threesomes just because they are bisexual. They can feel the same curiosity and interest in having relationships with two people simultaneously as a hetero or a homosexual would. Bisexual people do not feel incomplete or dissatisfied being in a monogamous relationship with a man or a woman.

3. sexuality is dichotomous

many have a dichotomous thinking Regarding sexuality: either you're straight or you're gay. In this black-and-white mentality, where shades of gray don't exist, bisexual people don't exist either. Those who continue to believe that sexuality is like that show a very square mentality.

4. Bisexuality does not congeny with monogamy

There are those who believe that bisexuality is impossible in a monogamous culture. In Western societies, for example, we tend to have only one relationship at a time. Having a single relationship does not imply that a bisexual person is going to play both sides or have an incomplete sex life for not having a man and a woman in her life. Being bisexual doesn't mean you're incapable of commitment either.

5. The myth of transition or confusion

One of the most heard myths about bisexuality is that it is actually a phase, that they are simply experimenting and trying new things and that, at some point, they will get tired. Others see it in the reverse direction, which is the necessary step between heterosexuality and homosexuality, and that in reality whoever is bisexual is a repressed homosexual who is not yet aware that he is gay or lesbian.

Whether it is seen as a middle ground or as an experimental phase, the truth is that bisexuality is neither. Bisexuality is a reality and regardless of whether you like men or women more, the fact that feel attracted to both to a greater or lesser extent makes you bisexual and the healthy thing is to accept it and enjoy it in total Liberty.

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6. Bisexuality is a modern fad

One of the simplest arguments regarding bisexuality, and also the rest of orientations sexual and gender identities, is that it is a modern fashion that at some point will pass. Many people see it as a product of globalization and average mass, defending the idea that every time a famous bisexual comes out, young people imitate him and say that they are too.

It should not be so fashionable if since ancient times there is evidence of historical figures who had "affairs" with both men and women. Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, Francis Bacon, Lord Byron, Emiliano Zapata, Virginia Woolf and Hans Christian Andersen, among many others, are bisexual historical figures or those suspected of having had such relationships. type.

We must not forget either Alfred Kinsey, inventor of the Kinsey scale of sexuality in which he does not conceive of sexuality as black or white, straight or gay. As he himself well knew that sexuality is not something dichotomous, but rather a continuum, he designed a scale on which one can freely place oneself in terms of what he prefers. Thanks to his work, today we understand much better what it means to be heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual.

7. Bisexuals like everything without filters

Thinking that bi people like everything without filters is another widespread myth. This is the belief that all, absolutely all bi women and men are into any type of person, without having standards or preferences. There is the conception that they are vicious, that they give everything without consideration. This is a lie. In the same way that straight people and gays and lesbians do not like all men or all women, the same thing happens to bisexual people.

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Denial: when we deny that we are bi

Due to the many myths that continue to exist about bisexuality and the double discrimination they suffer, many bi people may deny that they are, hiding it and convincing themselves that they are just going through a stage. The process is similar to when you do not accept that you are gay, with the difference that among bi people You can fall into the idea that, as you feel preference for people of the other sex, sooner or later they will stop being confused and will return to being "normal" people.ie heterosexual.

Being bisexual and repressing yourself is condemning yourself not to assimilate your romantic life in an integral, full and satisfactory way. There are many ways in which this reality is tried to be hidden, especially in the form of maintaining heterosexual relationships to hide the fact that we, too, like people of our own sex. There are also cases of people who have same-sex relationships and fear that, if they go out with people of the opposite sex, they will be accused of playing both sides or being repressed gays or lesbians.

Bisexuality is totally natural, like homosexuality, heterosexuality and asexuality. Being bisexual is not immoral, vicious, promiscuous, or a sign of having unclear ideas. Everyone is free to live their sexuality fully, and this is achieved by not fighting against ourselves. If someone in our environment rejects us for being bi, it means that they did not deserve to have us by their side. Love yourself or yourself above others.

How to manage and overcome internalized biphobia?

To overcome internalized biphobia, it is essential to follow these steps:

• Stop believing in the myths we have seen.
• Naturalize bisexuality.
• Refute biphobic beliefs that people around us may have.
• Claim the rights of this and other groups of the LGTBI + collective.

Nobody should judge us for wanting to sleep with both men and women. We have every right in the world to form a relationship or family with the people we want, regardless of their gender, sex or sexual identity.