Postpartum, the most invisible moment

Postpartum, also known as puerperium, in theory is the period of time that begins after childbirth and ends after quarantine; that is, more or less about six weeks after giving birth.

But as we already know, nothing that has to do with motherhood or parenting usually follows any theory very strictly. So postpartum should be understood in the broadest possible sense. Wider and more variable, because each woman is different, each birth is different and each baby will cause different changes and adjustments in each family unit.

In any case, and here there is a consensus between theory and reality, postpartum is a period of adaptation in capital letters. Adaptation of the mother to the baby, of the baby to the mother, of the mother to her new feelings, from the baby towards the world, and from the environment towards this new inseparable couple that they form mom and baby.

A period of adaptation full of challenges and difficulties that has traditionally been invisible. And it still is. Movies, advertisements, the common imaginary, draw us a happy woman with a new son or daughter in her arms. And she forgets all the rest... Which is a lot and, in fact, is everything.

• Related article: "Perinatal psychology: what is it and what functions does it perform?"

An invisible reality

Precisely this invisibility is one of the causes of the problem that we will address below: postpartum depression, experienced alone and often undiagnosed.

The environment tells the woman that she should feel very happy, that it is obligatory to feel very happy; and when the woman feels, inevitably, emotionally overwhelmed, to the anxiety that we could consider "normal" and "manageable" adds pressure from the environment that, if poorly managed, can lead to significant problems in their mental health.

What postpartum did you imagine? What has been the reality? Lack of information causes false expectations, seas of frustration and even remorseful mothers in silence.

• You may be interested: "The 6 Types of Mood Disorders"

Emotional disturbances after childbirth

It is scientifically more than proven that before, during and after pregnancy, women experience important hormonal changes, and that these changes can cause emotional disorders of different intensity.

1. baby blues

the baby blues It is the syndrome that usually appears with the arrival of the baby, it is an emotional alteration in which crying appears easy, sadness, irritability, insecurity, anguish and mood swings, is temporary, lasts a few days after the first weeks of Birth. It is a hormonal syndrome, being aware of it will help you go through it without scaring you and not confuse it with postpartum depression.

2. Postpartum depression

If this emotional state persists or worsens over the weeks, we are talking about postpartum depression; many women suffer from it in silence without being diagnosed, fortunately, more and more detection protocols are being carried out. Postpartum depression can lead to you not feeling capable of caring for the baby, can affect bonding, and isolate you from family and friends. Do not hesitate to go to a specialist.

3. postpartum post-traumatic stress

postpartum post traumatic stress (PTSD-P) appears after the traumatic experience of childbirth, from an emergency delivery where the baby's life was in danger, an unexpected caesarean section, prolapse of the umbilical cord, the baby in the incubator, feelings of helplessness, lack of support and communication during childbirth, suffering from obstetric violence, how did you experience your Birth? did you feel respected? Was it what you really expected?

Childbirth is a time of great vulnerability, and women who have experienced previous trauma, such as sexual abuse, are at high risk of developing postpartum post-traumatic stress disorder.

4. Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD-P) is associated with intrusive, recurrent, persistent thoughts that appear after childbirth, usually related to the baby. It occurs through compulsions to reduce fear and anxiety, exaggerated fear of harming the baby, rituals and repetitive behaviors related to hygiene and weight control or intake.

Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder negatively affects the daily routine of women, consuming too much time and generating a state of permanent anxiety, affecting relationships interpersonal.

• Related article: "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): what is it and how does it manifest?"

5. Postpartum burnout syndrome

postpartum burnout syndrome It appears when you undergo a period of intense and prolonged stress on a physical and emotional level, generating extreme exhaustion. It is common in the postpartum period.

The symptoms of chronic stress caused by the same situation, sleepless nights, colic, breastfeeding, constant demand from the baby, social pressure to be a perfect mother, the weight of the household responsibilities, it leads to muscle aches, headaches, frustration, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, collapsed and despair. Do you feel extreme exhaustion, that you cannot plus? These symptoms can be mistaken for other disorders.

The importance of acting quickly

Early identification of these emotional disorders and seeing a specialized professional is crucial for the emotional well-being of mother and baby.

perinatal psychology It is the branch of psychology that is responsible for working on the emotional changes that occur during the process of motherhood, fatherhood and upbringing. Going to a specialist is always the best option, and statistics confirm that if it is treated in its initial phase, the chances of success of the treatment are very high.

• You may be interested: "The 10 benefits of going to psychological therapy"

Prevention of psychological problems

There is increasing social awareness that the postpartum stage is a time of great personal and couple transformation, where own wounds appear that can affect the process.

Fortunately, we have noticed a growing number of women and couples who come to the consultation to know how to identify if really want to be mothers / fathers or not, many times we fall into the inertia of what we unconsciously believe is expected of we.

Women or couples who choose to undergo a psychotherapeutic process to prepare for motherhood and postpartum find it a great help to prevent emotional disorders after childbirth and build a conscious motherhood.

If you decide to be a mother with a partner, you should bear in mind that parental co-responsibility is essential for the woman to feel accompanied. Teaming up with your partner requires communication, presence, responsibility and commitment; when this does not happen we put the health of the woman and the baby at risk.

Many women feel the feeling of abandonment and loneliness in the postpartum period when their partner is not up to the taskThat is why it is so important to inform, strengthen and educate the couple.

The feeling of loneliness in motherhood is one of the most common at this stage, surrounding yourself with other mothers will help you, as well as being part of parenting and breastfeeding groups, forming a tribe.

For some mothers, the initial fusion with the baby awakens feelings of enjoyment and joy. Breastfeeding, in these cases, appears as the greatest intimacy between mother and baby. But for other women, this deep fusion can bring about confusion, insecurity, and perhaps a sense of loss of identity. Promote the right environment to accompany the mother in the process of creating this harmony with her baby is the challenge of perinatal psychology.

Having someone to take care of household chores, taking care of little siblings, putting on washing machines or filling the fridge seems like a small thing, but it is a lot. Having the most prosaic needs covered will allow the mother to focus on herself and on the demands of the baby, to have time both to take care of yourself and recover from childbirth, how to do the necessary hypopressive exercises at home to establish breastfeeding.

Concluding…

As women, we are socially accustomed to caring for and attending to the needs of others, and in a postpartum the baby becomes the center and women are usually the great forgotten. Remember, you are the most important person in your life; Prioritize yourself, take care of yourself, if you are well everything will flow.

Listen to yourself: how do you feel? What do you need? Learn to listen to your needs and to ask, express what you need, be assertiveSay no to everything you don't want.

If you don't feel good about yourself or your partner postpartum, ask for help.