Secure attachment: characteristics and how to promote it

At birth, it is natural for boys and girls to establish a significant emotional relationship with the people who care for them, usually the parents. The characteristics of this link, also known as attachment, will be very relevant for the complete development of the child, having different types of attachment and secure attachment being the most beneficial.

Secure attachment is that bond that some children have been able to develop, during their first years of life, which is mainly characterized by the fact of having lived a cozy relationship and warm with her caregiver, resulting in the child seeing himself as a person worthy of being loved and cared for, so that when he experiences some difficulty she will seek help from that caregiver.

In this article we will see what secure attachment is and how we can promote it, but first we will give a brief explanation about the phenomenon of attachment in developmental psychology and the different types, among which is secure attachment.

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Attachment: different types

Attachment theory was developed by the English psychologist John Bowlby., who defined the concept of attachment as the affective bond that a child establishes during his first years of life with his caregiver (p. eg, her mother), this being essential to ensure the care of the child and also for the formation of his personality and her psychological development.

Let’s see below the 4 most well-known types of attachment, among which is the secure attachment, which will be the one that we are going to analyze in greater detail in this article.

1. secure attachment

Secure attachment could be defined as that attachment style that a person has developed who has confidence that their caregiver will not abandon or fail them. In this case, that person feels valued, loved and accepted. According to Bowlby, this type of attachment will largely depend on the caretaker's perseverance in providing the necessary care and security.

2. Anxious and ambivalent attachment

Anxious attachment usually develops when a child does not trust their caregivers and constantly has a feeling of insecurity because on some occasions his caregivers are not present, despite the fact that on others they are. That is why this inconsistency on the part of her caregivers when providing the necessary care to the child has caused him to develop this attachment style.

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3. avoidant attachment

Avoidant attachment is the one that occurs when a child has assumed that she cannot count on her caregivers, being a fact that will cause her a lot of suffering.

In these cases the babies will not cry when separated from the caregiver, they will avoid close contact with their caregivers and are only interested in their toys. This occurs when the behaviors of the caregivers have not been correct, so they have not generated the necessary security in the child.

4. disorganized attachment

This type of attachment could be exposed as a mix between avoidant and anxious attachment, being a case in which the child performs inappropriate and also quite contradictory behaviors. In this case, her caregivers have been quite negligent regarding the care of the child and her behavior has transmitted a lot of insecurity, this being the opposite extreme of secure attachment.

• Related article: "Developmental Psychology: main theories and authors"

What is secure attachment?

Secure attachment is one that has been developed when there has been a balance between the exploration of the environment by the child and the attachment of their caregivers, who are usually their parents; In other words, the balance of the weight of the child's independence or autonomy and his dependence on his parents is balanced. Therefore, there is a fairly balanced organization at a relational and behavioral level.

In the category of secure attachment we can find all those children who have been able to develop during their first years of life a type of bond with their parents, which is characterized mainly due to the fact of having lived with them a welcoming and warm relationship, resulting in the child seeing himself as a person worthy of being loved and cared for, so that when experiences some difficulty will seek the help of their parents considering that they are a solid and secure base that can provide them with security and support at different levels (physical, emotional, economic, etc).

Having developed a secure attachment during childhood contributes to that person having favorable expectations towards those around him in later years, so that it will be more predisposed to receive help from other people in those moments in which it needs (p. g., from your friends, your partner, your teachers, etc.).

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Main characteristics of secure attachment

During the investigation of the American psychologist Mary Ainsworth on attachment known as "Strange Situation Technique" (Strange Situation Procedure), it was observed that those children who had developed a secure attachment when separated from their caregiver or parent experienced the typical anxiety of the separation phase, but the close presence of this (secure base) during the reunion phase would be enough to deactivate that attachment system and will favor the exploration of the child.

Those children with a secure attachment will see their caregiver or parent as a secure base for their own examinations, having been able to develop a confidence in the availability of his caregiver in case he was need. In these cases, we can see children who have a representation of themselves as worthy of love and care, and also have a representation of their care as trustworthy, as she is always available to respond to her requests for support and emotional comfort.

Of course, one should not confuse being available at the level of support and to provide security to the child, with spoiling the child by giving him all the whims that he wants so that he stops crying or stops asking for something, without having taught him the value of stuff.

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How can a secure attachment be developed?

Promoting a secure attachment in children is highly relevant because several investigations in psychology, which have been highly accepted by the scientific community, have been able to confirm that the development of a secure attachment during the first years of life a protective factor for the interpersonal, emotional and cognitive development of the child during their stage of development, also influencing their stage adult.

On the other hand, when a child has developed a secure attachment, she will have positive expectations regarding relationships. relationships and will have a greater facility in the following years when learning the bases of reciprocity in relationships. social relationships, which must be supported by mutual trust between the members of a relationship, whether family, sentimental or friendship.

Furthermore, with a secure attachment a child will have a greater facility to correctly develop the ability to self-regulate one's own impulses and also one's own emotions, this style of attachment being very important when developing the bases of identity (balance between one's own autonomy and dependence on other people, self-esteem, etc.

Below we are going to list a series of guidelines that are essential for a child to develop a secure attachment style, so it is parents and/or caregivers, including preschool or daycare teachers, of children should be aware of bill:

• Convey to the child security protection
• Promote the autonomy of the child.
• Try to understand the emotional state of the child.
• Meet the implicit needs of the child.
• Provide comfort to the child without judging or being dismissive of him.
• Explain correctly to the child all those things that she does not understand
• Pay attention to the child when he asks for it because he is doing something that he wants us to see.
• Give the child positive feedback that helps him continue to act correctly.
• Tune emotionally with the child.
• Respond accurately to the child's needs.
• Know how to be discreetly present on those occasions when it is necessary so that she can explore alone.
• Set limits for the child in a consistent and sensitive manner.
• Allow the expression of the child's emotions and respect it.
• Listen to the child's opinions and take them into account.
• Explain to the child in an assertive way the things that he should do differently.
• Be an example of good manners for the child.
• Make yourself available to the child.
• Be consistent with our actions.
• Be predictable in front of the child, so that the child can regularly anticipate our behavior.
• Believe, stone and trust the child.