How to start over in life? 15 psychological tips

When we feel that we are no longer happy, that we are not comfortable with the life situation in which we find ourselves, we we must resign ourselves, we have to take charge of the situation and find a way to start over and be happy.

There are different strategies that can be useful to carry out this process, but it is also important to know what does not work. So, in this article we will talk about the decision to make a change and start over in life from scratch, how to deal with it and what strategies can be useful to achieve it.

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Change and start from scratch to be happy

We know that life may not be easy, it is a path with ups and downs, a path in which it is possible that we we find a dead end street, a point where we cannot or do not want to go any further and we must change our way to go ahead. We do not have to resign ourselves, and as much as it may scare us to leave our current life, we must consider it as an action to improve.

Uncertainty, not knowing what can happen, causes us fear, and can lead us to stop striving to reach our goals for fear of what may come. When we are no longer comfortable with our life situation, when we are no longer happy or realize that we have made a mistake, correcting and changing is the only option that can help us recover the welfare.

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Strategies to start over in life

Once we have decided to change, start over, we can help ourselves with some psychological strategies to facilitate the process. As we have already seen, change is not easy, and even more so if it is linked to a factor as important as what we want to do with our lives. So let's see what advice we can follow to make this start as positive as possible.

1. accept the change

Although it seems logical and obvious, sometimes it is not so simple and we must work on ourselves to be able to accept change. It may happen that in our minds an opposition arises between wanting to change and the fear that it causes us to do so, thus a defense can be activated that causes the self-sabotage of the change itself. For this reason, it is necessary that we first spend time accepting what we want and what we are going to change, keeping in mind that we are going to start a complex and difficult process.

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2. reflect

When it comes to a change as important as starting over in life, we should not be in a hurry to take action; we will try not to do it impulsively. We will carry out this reflection with reference to aspects of the past, present and future In order for the change to be for the better and for us to achieve our purposes, we have to assess what things of the past we want to modify and do differently, what factors of the present we do not want to be repeated, and how to face the future that we want to achieve and the goals we set for ourselves reach.

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3. positive approach

Although it may seem like the typical advice to see life in a positive way, it can help us to value the process in which we find ourselves. positive way, since, although it does not assure us that things are going well, our state to face them will be better, thus making it easier to overcome the adversities. Likewise, seeing the past, the bad experiences or mistakes we have made, as events that have allowed us to learn, It also favors change and being better with oneself.

There are events that we would erase from our lives if we could, but since this is impossible, the best we can do is accept them and make the most of them, which will serve as a reminder, warning, so that what same.

4. reconcile with your past

In order to make progress and for the change to be favorable, it is first necessary for us to reconcile ourselves with everything that has happened in the past. We may have been wrong, we may have experienced bad times, events that affected our state, but to promote the improvement of our quality of life we can't just pretend nothing happened and deny what happened, it is necessary to work, accept and relocate what happened in order to continue living without it affecting us. Facing and forgiving what happened is the only way to get over it.

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5. Set realistic goals

In order to stay motivated and keep moving forward, especially in the beginning, when the fear is most intense, it helps us to see that the small steps we take are positive and rewarded. For this reason, we must try to ensure that the objectives we set for ourselves, especially those that are short-term, are realistic and possible to promote progress, reduce fear and confirm that the change decision we have made is the right one.

6. Everyone makes mistakes

Life is not always easy, making it likely that we make mistakes; we must be aware of this and accept that it is a normal fact that can happen and that we can take advantage of as a way of learning. Forgiving ourselves for the mistakes made and keeping in mind that we can make mistakes again without this being a failure, facilitates a better state of ourselves and our environment.

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7. Take your time

All the processes that we have mentioned so far of accepting, reflecting and reconciling need to dedicate time, we cannot expect to start from scratch and that everything runs smoothly or we feel comfortable from the first moment. We will need a period of time to assimilate what is happening and the changes that are taking place. For this reason, it is important to allow ourselves an adaptation period and not try to run or go faster if we do not feel comfortable. For example, whatever your project, make the objectives to be achieved easier during the first days.

8. The benefits of social support

Feeling supported by the people we love is essential, not only in situations of change but at any time in our lives. As much as you must make the change and it is your decision to choose how to do it or what path you want to start, advice, opinions and, ultimately, social support will make the process less difficult, without having to go through it alone.

9. stay away from the bad

Starting over does not always mean breaking with all our past, there may be aspects or people that do benefit us and with whom we do not want to break. But we must also be aware of what does harm us, and it is necessary for us to distance ourselves if we really want a change to take place and for it to be positive. Avoid situations that bring out the worst in you or put you back in the self of the past or people who do not look out for your well-being, who judge your previous actions or do not allow you to progress.

10. Take charge of your life

We have already pointed out that you must be the one who accepts and makes the change, so you have to be the one who is convinced of it and wants to do it. The accelerated life in which we find ourselves immersed sometimes does not allow us to act as we want or let us influence by other people, allowing time to pass without really doing what we want and without feeling good.

In the end, you are the only one responsible for your decisions. For this reason, try to make these your choice, even if you later realize that you were wrong. It is better to risk taking a decision of our own that we are convinced of, than to live following the decisions of others.

11. Be flexible

Flexibility is one of the most important skills to make progress and adapt to both what happens outside of us and what we feel inside. To be able to accept and make change and start from scratch it is essential to be flexible; if not, we will always live anchored in the past without being able to start a new life.

It is fine and it is necessary to have a plan or, as we have said, some set objectives that we want to achieve, but if we see that the strategy used is not functional, we cannot stay fixed in that way of behavior. We must vary and try another way of dealing with the situation, another way. We may need to change on more than one occasion.

13. express how you feel

Just as it is good to maintain social relationships and feel supported, it is good to express how we feel in the process of change. We are starting a new life with the uncertainty and difficulties that this entails, so communicating and externalizing how we feel will help us to be more aware of it, organize ourselves and let off steam

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14. Trust yourself

You are the one who must direct and choose which path you want to take and follow. Therefore, it is important that you trust yourself and that, as much as, as we have already said, you can make mistakes, never lose confidence in yourself.

15. Don't hesitate to ask for help

If you are overwhelmed by the situation, you feel lost, not knowing what direction to take, how to proceed, do not hesitate to ask for help from a psychotherapy professional. In the end, starting a new life involves many changes that, as we have said, generate uncertainty and cause us fear, as well that having the support of a trained person who can give us useful strategies for our particular case is very helpful.