How to stop feeling guilty about everything: 5 useful tips

Guilt, if it appears frequently enough and for a wide variety of reasons without us knowing how to manage it, can become one of the most damaging emotions we could feel; although on certain occasions it can also help us learn from our mistakes.

There are a series of tips that can help when looking for how to stop feeling guilty about everything, among which we can find the following: look for the possible causes of guilt, assume our share of responsibility, discuss our own feelings with people we trust or with a psychologist, or seek help professional.

In this article you will find tips on how to stop feeling guilty about everything, but first we will talk about guilt feelings (their possible causes, consequences, functions, etc.).

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feelings of guilt

To understand how to stop feeling guilty about everything, it is helpful to understand a number of factors related to feelings of guilt. In the first place, it must be said that many psychologists and philosophers have tried to understand what the function of guilt really is, having developed various hypotheses about it (for example, it is a useful component of the human experience, it is a realistic component, it is actually a useless emotion, among others hypothesis).

Secondly, we must comment that guilt is an emotion that can be experienced as a result of various behaviors and/or thoughts, such as the following examples: having done something that we think we shouldn't have done and then having the belief that we are a bad person for having done something in particular that we think we should That's wrong. In this example we can see that the first distortion, when we feel guilty, is by assuming that we have done something wrong; while the second distortion causes us to feel guilty by labeling ourselves as a bad person.

Faced with this type of case, we should reflect on whether that action that we believe we should not have done was really a big deal and, once analyzed, wonder if actually having done that makes us bad people. To do this exercise correctly, we will briefly explain some guidelines later.

On many occasions, feelings of guilt can add an unnecessary burden that could increase counterproductive behaviors and thoughts. An example of this would be what happens to some people who have problems with alcohol, who feel guilty when they have drunk in drinking heavily on the previous dci and, because they feel guilty, they may drink heavily again to try to "forget" that guilt that they feel. In these cases, they should seek help to learn to control this type of behavior and self-criticism for having relapsed again.

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How to stop feeling guilty about everything

Feelings of guilt could cause us a lot of suffering if they persist over time and we are not able to control them, so that they influence us in various facets of life, such as at the family or work level, among others. others. Therefore, it is important to learn some mechanisms to stop feeling guilty constantly and for everything.

1. Look for possible causes of guilt

The first piece of advice on how to stop feeling guilty is to reflect on the possible causes of our worries. This can help us analyze and understand if the causes of our concerns really have the importance that we give them, and also allow us to learn from our own mistakes and be prepared for possible future occasions in which situations similar to those that triggered our feelings of fault.

Imagine the following example: we feel guilty because we don't spend too much time with our children, because this morning we said something to someone that has not been entirely successful and has made him feel bad and on top of that we believe that our boss has not been enthusiastic about our draft; this type of situation being several examples that can help us to understand them as warning signs that indicate that we should stop to try to understand what we are feeling and what we can extract from this type of situation to learn and improve for the future.

Reflecting carefully on how we feel and how we can learn from each situation can lead us towards change. positive that is oriented towards the path that best suits what we consider correct according to our own values.

When looking for the possible causes of our guilt it is important to avoid dichotomous thoughts of “black and white”, causing us to consider that in a given situation we can only do everything perfect or, if on the contrary we have not done it as expected, it is because we have done everything very evil.

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2. Assume our share of responsibility and accept possible errors

The second of the tips on how to stop feeling guilty about everything is that we assume our share of responsibility with regarding the situations that have triggered our feelings of guilt and for this we should analyze with detention to what extent our words and/or our actions have influenced what triggered our feelings of guilt.

Many times it happens that guilt arises because of the idea that we have that we should control everything that happens to us, when in reality it is impossible to do it since there are many things around us that are beyond our control and are also unpredictable.

In those cases in which we consider that the causes of our feelings of guilt have been Our responsibility or at least in part, we must bear in mind, first of all, that we can no longer change what happened. Nevertheless, yes we can do something in the present, so if there is something we can do, no matter how small, let's do it, serving as a lesson to try not to repeat something similar that makes us feel guilty again.

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3. talk about our own feelings

Another tip on how to stop feeling guilty about everything would be to stop repressing our negative or dysphoric feelings, among them that of guilt and any that are associated, since repressing them will only make them increase and end us surpassing.

This does not mean that we tell the first person we meet on the street, but it could help us if we talk to people we trust about how we feel, since in addition to serve as an outlet, they can show us their support and also cannot give different perspectives on the reasons that triggered our guilt, and with this, perhaps we can think about it in a more nuanced and fair way. Our trusted people could also give us some advice that will help us for the future.

4. forgive us

Another strategy to keep in mind when trying to understand how to stop feeling guilty about everything would be to learn to forgive ourselves and, if that our discomfort has arisen as a result of inappropriate behavior on our part, should serve us to take note and that it does not happen again repeat. Also, forgiveness is essential to stop feeling guilty about everything.

It must be borne in mind that, as we would try to give love and encourage a loved one who is going through a bad time because he feels guilty for some reason, we should do the same to ourselves when we feel guilty. guilty, since otherwise we would only be able to make feelings of guilt grow and this would not solve any problem. issue.

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5. seek professional help

Finally, one of the key tips is to seek the professional help of a psychologist if the situation becomes too difficult. Psychotherapy is a highly recommended resource in those circumstances in which feelings of guilt overwhelm us. and we cannot control the situation, nor do we find the solution to feel better, and it can affect us at various levels (for example, work, relational, etc.).

A psychologist could help us to understand in another way what are the reasons for our guilt and, based on this, could not help us develop and train different strategies to be able to face this type of situation so that feelings of guilt do not overwhelm us, and the psychologist could help us see things in a more objective way and with a certain perspective, in order to learn to forgive ourselves and also to develop strategies for the future so that we are prepared for occasions similar to those that triggered our culpability.