What are the causes of emotional dependence?

Emotional dependence is a psychological state with repercussions on the affective-social relationships established by the person, whether they are family, friendship or love relationships, giving dependence mainly in the latter relations.

Usually, the person is not aware of the degree of dependence that he can develop in said ties, but he is able to identify the discomfort that causes him to distance himself from the person on whom he has turned that dependency. In addition, these dependent people have a lack of self-control in their actions that increases as the discomfort increases.

The most common in these cases is create a pattern of emotional dependency throughout your life development with all your relationships, although it can only occur in one area such as, for example, a sentimental relationship. In these cases, the psychological consequences may be greater, since due to their dependent nature they will seek Dominant and authoritarian people who favor and feed their needs, thus entering relationships toxic.

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Symptoms of emotional dependency

These are the main warning signs.

1. Idealization of the partner or person in whom said dependency turns

Dependent assumes that the other is the perfect personHe never makes mistakes and all the decisions he makes are correct.

2. anxiety and stress

These they can be caused by the emotional and physical distance they may feel from the other person. There is emotional mismanagement in the face of distancing and panic at the possibility of feeling or being rejected. All these emotions can only be "controlled" by having an approach with the person.

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3. Fear of being or feeling alone

People who have developed this psychological phenomenon they will prefer not to abandon those relationships and will obsessively cling to them. Due to this fear, they will develop a great feeling of emptiness and hopelessness in the face of the possible loss of the relationship, always remaining alert to the possibility of it happening.

In their relationships with dominant people, they will be submissive. They will not express their opinion or want to argue, since they do not want to provoke disgust or discomfort in their partner.

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4. Feeling of inferiority to other people

This people they will not believe they are good enough in their relationships or valid in any field, so they probably believe they are being obsessively deceived.

Possible causes of emotional dependence

These are the most frequent causes behind emotional dependence.

1. Low self-esteem

It is a really important factor for this problem, since dependent people they see their self-esteem and self-concept conditioned by their relationship with others. If they feel valued, their value is reinforced through their environment. However, the more submissive they are to that environment, the more deteriorated their self-esteem will be, thus modulating it through the feedback they receive.

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2. Unsafety

They will not be able to contribute personal opinions, they will always be guided by what others say and think because that way they will get their approval. They feel the continual need to please, so they will adapt as much as they can to the needs and desires of others, again favoring that submission.

3. low self-confidence

They will have great difficulty making decisions for themselves, feeling the continual need to consult and delegate them in the person on whom they have turned their dependence.

4. irrational beliefs

These are given about their bonds and relationships, such as, for example, believing that they must agree on all personal values ​​and interests.

5. Possible educational component

Emotional education in critical stages of development, such as childhood and adolescence, is essential to build good emotional health, nurture self-esteem and self-confidence, all of which are essential for prevention against the development of a possible dependence.

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How to deal with it?

We must promote the adequate development of the autonomy and independence of the dependent person, work on their self-esteem and enhance their internal resources, as well as help them learn to manage them.

Besides, exhaustive work on irrational beliefs will be necessary that predominate in their affective relationships, as well as carry out different workshops in which they can increase their social skills, assertive communication skills and problem-solving/decision-making skills decisions. We will have to accompany them throughout the process of building their independent "I" and help them to adopt new ways of life and to relate healthier with the environment and with themselves.

With the effort and perseverance of the person, we can achieve an independent attitude, without needing extra relationships to be comfortable with ourselves and sure of our decisions.