The unbearable lightness of being at work

They say that at work (in a dependency relationship), as in marriage, those who are inside want to get out and those who are outside want to get in.

Since the human being is walking the planet, social life, or even life in general, produces discomfort. Those who are happier are not so because of luck or because they don't have problems, but because they learned to live with them, to interpret what happens in another way; In short, they have developed skills to deal with everyday discomforts and with those that they have to deal with particularly in their life journeys. Ability? Yes, it is a skill that some people develop intuitively.

But the majority we must learn it consciously, no matter at what age, so as not to wear our body and mind towards illness.

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The importance of learning to manage discomfort

It is not about being masochistic, but about accepting in the first place that the possible levels of well-being (of the which we can provide ourselves in our environment or to which we can access) are fluctuating, and that in general

many of the causes that cause these fluctuations are beyond our control or chances of change.

But back to the work situation. It is not true (as it is not true in marriage) that all relationship, in this case work, is frustrating. There are very rewarding ones, and yet, some discomfort will be going around from time to time, either because the employment relationship It is not stable, because we must be away from our loved ones for a long time, because the companions we have have Some values with which we do not agree and put us at times in limit situations of acceptance, etc.

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How to deal with discomfort at work?

In short, experiences of discomfort at work can be too varied to describe them all; however, we can rely on certain guiding and organizing schemes of behavior that help us to channel emotions and thoughts into effective actions, that is, consistent with our objectives. To do this, then, let us first be clear about the objectives for which we are in the place where we are working.

1. identify problems

Having accepted that "discomfort" will always exist, it is important make a record of what all of them are and write them down. When listing them all, you have to give them an order of importance, since the effective way to solve problems is to take them one at a time. Start with the first on the list. Give it a score from 1 to 10.

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2. Establish what is causing the problem

Analyze the source of it, detect where it comes from: if from internal sources (that is, they have a certain independence from the place where you are, such as "I I get bored easily after a while in any job”, “I procrastinate all the time”) or from external sources (“In this place I am pressured to take actions that oppose my values ​​and beliefs”, “I have to put up with bad humor and bad treatment from my boss or colleague from time to time”, “every time they load me with more and more worked").

3. Express in words what you feel

Describe the emotions and thoughts that discomfort brings: “I get depressed and tell myself that I am useless” (if it is internal) or “it irritates me in such a way that I can no longer stand it and I want it to go away” (if the stimulus starts outside).

4. Question what you think you know

It is important that you know that the changes of thoughts change the emotions and the changes of emotions change the thoughts, and in turn the impulsiveness reactive can make the problem worse. Therefore, next you have to question your thoughts. Is it possible that your perception or the way you judge the situation or yourself is not quite correct? What other answers or reasons can explain what happens and bothers you? Try to find other explanations even if they seem forced.

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It is important not to forget your goals

If the source of discomfort comes from stimuli external to your person, even if they are precise and well-founded your assessments and perceptions, you must relate them to your goals and make decisions about them. Many times the values ​​(of what is good and bad, fair and unfair, equitable, etc.) or your beliefs must remain in the background if it is necessary or vital to maintain your objectives, especially when they cannot be achieved by other means in the short and medium term term.

For example, a coworker has opportunistic behavior with your peers and with you and that makes you angry, but at the same time you know that his profile is vital for the manager and that in the event of a direct confrontation your superior will prioritize your colleague before you, in that case, everything What your head says about the unfairness of the situation, about how unethical or unethical your partner's behavior may be true, but at the same time little or not at all effective if you say it in anger and if your goal is to keep that job when job opportunities in your environment or region are scarce.

In that case you should explore options and moments. See the way to say what is necessary and that serves you in the immediate present so that opportunistic behavior is minimized, postponed, and that allows you to maintain the greatest tranquility and stability while you continue in that organization.

It is not a question of evading all the time, but neither of confronting your moral voice at every step that demands it; learning to go through the middle is, as we said at the beginning, a skill that is learned and that will not always work out. However, by making your discomforts conscious, describing your emotions and thoughts as precisely as possible, by being clear about your objectives/goals and the weight you give to each discomfort, you will be in better strategic conditions to know how to act, when and how.

Do the exercise with each problem or situation that causes you discomfort on your list, and you will see that the spectrum of alternative behaviors that you gain to face that state expands. In this way you will realize how your criteria for evaluating reality increase and new skills are automated to face the day to day, making you feel more personal security while improving your stability emotional.

After all, if the discomfort at work is very high and beyond the attempts and strategies you cannot sustain it safely for your mental and physical health, don't stay in it or in the comfort zone, he reflects on the popular phrase “jump, then the net will appear”.

There are many happy and more fulfilling experiences of those who believed they could not find new opportunities and, on the contrary, new paths and decisions led them to a quality of life best.