Tyrant children: causes, signs and how to take action

When we talk about Emperor syndrome or of Tyrant Boy, we mean all a series of behaviors and attitudes of the child aimed at psychologically dominating the parents or other caregivers.

In the short term, these abnormal behaviors can cause problems in the family, such as anger, frequent yelling between parents and with their children, usually leading to isolated families, in which interactions with relatives and friends.

In the long term, and if it is not detected and corrected in time, it could lead to violent teenagers. Teenagers who could use, as we see too often lately, physical force to control and dominate their parents and even teachers.

What characteristics does the tyrant child have?

The first symptoms appear around the age of 6, presenting the greatest problems around the age of 10 or 12, both in boys and girls.

Between the most relevant features we can point:

1. They are almost always sad or angry.
2. They have an exaggerated feeling of ownership. The phrase they like the most is: “It's mine!
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3. They often use tantrums, tantrums, or yelling to get what they want.
4. They continually demand attention from their parents.
5. They can't stand frustration: they don't know how to take "No" for an answer.
6. They always discuss the rules that are imposed on them.
7. They do not recognize authority figures, either at home or at school.

• You may be interested in reading this article: "10 strategies to improve your child's self-esteem"

What has happened for a child to present this type of behavior?

1. Influence of parental educational style

It has gone in a generation, from a strict and somewhat authoritarian education, to an education -in many cases- in which it is not very well known how to set the limits for children. Parents do not assume the role of educators since, in general, little time is spent with their children during the week and it is others (grandparents, caregivers, etc.) who assume that role.

Some parents also they are afraid of frustrating the children and they do not want to impose almost any rules on them, avoiding, as much as possible, saying “No” to anything.

Other times, there is an evident discrepancy between the same parents in how to educate their children, either due to lack of criteria, because the parents are separated or because there is simply a lack of fluid communication within the partner.

“The family is the basis of society and the place where people first learn the values ​​that guide them throughout their lives”

—John Paul II

2. Social influence

Children are growing up in a consumerist society, where what is immediate and what is achieved without effort prevail. A society, in short, that rewards quick and easy success.

Children they spend many hours watching television exposing themselves to a series of hedonistic and individualistic messages where values ​​such as discipline or respect are not reflected. This scenario is where parents should move, who, most of the time, feel overwhelmed by raising their children.

"There is only happiness where there is virtue and serious effort, because life is not a game"

-Aristotle

What can parents do for their children's education?

• To know more: "The 8 basic tips to not spoil your child"

1. Spend more “quality” time with his kids: listen to them, talk to them, play, share…
2. Do not try to be friends with the children. Impose discipline and respect. Without ceasing, of course, to be affectionate with them.
3. Set clear rules and limits regarding the education of children.
4. Prioritize consensus between parents. The voice of parents must be "one" regarding the education of children.
5. Do not impose punishments that are never fulfilled. Reinforce positive behaviors.
6. Holding children accountable little by little of certain tasks.
7. Do not overprotect children. Lose the fear of saying "No". Frustrate their expectations from time to time.
8. Do not label the child as "bad" or with any pejorative label.

"Educating a child is not to make him learn something he did not know, but to make him someone who did not exist"

—John Ruskin