Unconditional acceptance: what it is, what benefits it brings, and how to enhance it
May 04, 2022
In psychology, emotional acceptance has been widely studied as it is a phenomenon closely linked to mental processes, personality and social behavior. Specifically, Carl Rogers was a psychologist who studied this concept in depth, providing us with information that endures and spreads to this day.
In this article we will know what exactly is unconditional acceptance and how to work it on ourselves and others.
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What is unconditional acceptance?
Unconditional acceptance is the predisposition to assume without trying to keep out of mind the way of being and being in the world of ourselves and those around us, without relying excessively on transformation projects of oneself and/or others to make reality fit our wishes exactly.
Thus, unconditional acceptance makes it possible for us to give a priori value to all humans for being human, regardless of their actions, race, economic level, problems, etc.
Psychologist Carl Rogers held the view that people have great potential within them.
Rogers believed that these mentioned factors drive people in their personal development. Likewise, Rogers believed that a person had the potentialities and resources for their self-understanding, and capacities for the change of their self-concept, attitudes and their behavior.
For its part, Albert Ellis, unconditional acceptance is based on that the person decides to accept himself only by the fact of his existence, for being alive, without going into any judgment, for no reason or motive.
It is important to define ourselves as good and valuable for being a living and existing being. For this author, we can evaluate and qualify the aspects that make us up as people, the things that we have or the situations that happen to us, but never give us a global assessment of ourselves in its whole.
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Why do its benefits allow us to live fully?
Rogers argued that there are three essential and fundamental elements that can benefit individuals to be able to self-manage and relate to others in a healthy way, both emotionally and psychologically. These three elements are: authenticity, empathy and unconditional acceptance. In this way, unconditional acceptance favors functional and constructive behavior.
What does unconditional acceptance free us from? Unconditional acceptance gives us true freedom that frees us from our own cultural, ethical and religious prejudices. Accept yourself unconditionally, as well as others, because it means loving your neighbor no matter what happens.
It is important to specify that the foregoing does not refer to a person having to accept their own internal evil or that of others, but rather As individuals, we may be able to accept ourselves and others, despite being aware of the faults that may exist in us and the others. others.
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How can we enhance unconditional acceptance in ourselves?
Let's see what strategies we can follow to work on unconditional acceptance in our way of facing life.
1. Our own esteem cannot be corroborated by others
We are worth because we decide and think so. We do not have to depend on the assessment that others have of us.
2. Do not confuse our own value as people with our actions or the actions of others towards us
It is difficult to deal with this change, because since we were little, many of us have heard labels from our own relatives such as: “you are a spoiled brat”, “you are a bad boy”, etc.
3. Not having a single global and negative assessment of ourselves
Despite the fact that you have various opinions of yourself, you can make different assessments of the aspects that make you up and contain in you different opinions. You cannot have a single assessment of yourself, the simple fact of being people makes us understand how complex we can be, with others and even with ourselves.
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4. Determine for yourself what you are really worth
It is you who determines what you are worth. No need to explain it to anyone else., you are above all things who exists, you are a human being. The aforementioned is all you need to be able to give yourself value. This value has no relation to your emotions, opinions and behaviors. At some point you may not have a good appraisal of your behavior, but do not confuse it with your self-appraisal.
5. Do not think that accepting yourself unconditionally makes you selfish
Our unconditional acceptance is not related to arrogant or egotistical behavior. Unconditional acceptance is a way of showing how amazing we can be to ourselves and others, often for collective benefit.
6. The assessment that should matter to us is that of ourselves
We cannot demand that others value us and love us as we would like, but we ourselves can.
7. Do not compare ourselves with others
It is important to stop buying from others, in the same way it is important to stop associating our behavior with our way of acting in unfavorable situations that we may have. We can have failures in important activities (which we think are important), we can be rejected by someone we consider important, we can make mistakes and make mistakes, but this It is not justification to think that we are worth less as people.
8. Your existence gives you great value that no one can take away from you
We all have a value in itself for the simple fact of existing and being in the world, regardless of our successes and achievements. If we don't think this way, we will be condemned to catalog others by their achievements, successes, performances, group memberships, etc.
9. Unconditional acceptance for health
When we accept ourselves unconditionally, our emotions are healthier and more appropriate. Our behavior turns out to be more constructive and therefore more functional.
10. Unique and unrepeatable beings
We are unique and unrepeatable human beings, that is our main condition. No one, as much as it may seem, is going to be the same as us, that is the fundamental privilege that we all have. We can become the same in general shared terms, but distinctive in many aspects in particular.
11. We are not perfect by nature
We are not perfect or perfect, we are human beings limited by nature and it is essential to accept it. We have flaws, errors and shortcomings that cause us to make mistakes, but that does not make us a bad person.
12. We don't need the approval of others
No one needs the approval of others. What others think of me is not more important than the opinion I may have of myself. The search for social approval is nothing more than a desire or preference, because we all like to be approved by others, in order to earn their esteem. This is healthy in its proper measure, but seeking approval from others can become a difficulty when it becomes an absolute need or demand rather than a preference or desire.
13. Trust yourself above all things
The need to be approved by others is based on the idea that we do not have to trust ourselves and that we should first confirm everything with another person. For this reason, it is essential not to fall into the premise indicated above, since our own approval and self-confidence prevail.
14. Unconditional acceptance follows the rules of scientific evidence
Acceptance helps us to facilitate our goals in the short, medium and long term. It is not true or correct to believe that this faculty will generate emotional problems that are more linked to self-esteem.
15. What if I don't achieve unconditional acceptance?
Finally, if you can't find this balance on your own, it's important to consider help from a professional who must have the skills and abilities to help you have a process introspective. Eventually, a psychologist psychotherapist is the one who could help you in a more efficient and systematic way so that you can establish your unconditional acceptance.