How to do self-criticism: 11 practical tips

Self-criticism is a capacity that allows us to be aware of and assess our behavior in order to make changes to improve it.

To ensure that criticism benefits us, we must ensure that it is positive and constructive, that is, that it focuses on describing the situation and assessing what possible solutions there are. The purpose of self-criticism is to improve, not to blame and punish ourselves for what happened.

In this article we will talk about self-criticism and how to do it based on advice and guidelines that will help you apply it to your life and in your personal development.

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What do we mean by self-criticism?

self-criticism is the ability to analyze and assess our behaviors, both behaviors, cognitions and emotions, proposing improvements. Self-criticism can be understood as a positive skill, since if we do it correctly it can be useful to modify our way of acting and thus improve. In this way, it is necessary that in the same way that we must try to make constructive criticism of the subjects around us, we also make this type of criticism of ourselves.

So that criticism is positive and helps us develop and evolve we must try to make these objective, that is, that there is a real reason to make them, that there is an objective explanation that justifies making the criticism. Likewise, we will try to make these constructive, it consists of proposing possible solutions so that improvement occurs. It is not enough just to say or point out what we do not like, we have to think if there is room for improvement and how we could solve it.

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How to do self-criticism

Self-criticism can be understood as a useful ability that helps us progress and improve, but it can also be devastating and dysfunctional if we do not make good use of it. If we only focus on criticizing the actions we carry out, on highlighting everything that is bad without trying to see how to fix and change, what we achieve is to damage our self-esteem, selfconcept, the perception we have of ourselves. We have to motivate and encourage ourselves to produce change and thus be able to benefit.

It is therefore essential to learn and train to carry out positive and constructive self-criticism, as we have already said, so that they are really functional and useful for our development and progress. So let's see some tips that can help us to carry out self-criticism properly.

1. Be clear that the purpose is to improve, not to blame ourselves

The purpose of self-criticism should be to find out what we did wrong and try to assess how we can change our actions so as not to make the same mistake. Constantly blaming ourselves for what we did without trying to solve the problem does not help us; on the contrary, it affects us and can affect our mental state.

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2. Focus on specific behaviors that you can modify

We make self-criticisms with the intention of improving, if the fact, capacity, criticized trait cannot be modified, criticizing it will not be functional or useful since we will only make ourselves feel worse, harm ourselves by highlighting something that we cannot change. So that, we will focus on valuing and trying to modify behaviors, rather than unmodifiable traits and that these conducts be as specific as possible to seek the most appropriate solution.

3. Set realistic goals

As we have already seen, the purpose of self-criticism is to be able to identify and assess what we must change and work to achieve an improvement. For this reason, it is necessary that the objectives or goals that we set for ourselves, those that we use to assess our state and if we have achieved what we wanted, be realistic. Namely, we have to be able to achieve them, because if not, we will only sink and self-criticism will cease to be functional.

It is better to set ourselves close objectives, that we can easily reach in order to gradually progress and set more complex long-term goals, but always with the possibility of achieving them if we make an effort.

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4. Choose a suitable moment to do self-criticism

It is common, due to the lifestyle we currently lead, that we cannot stop to reflect during the day. For this reason, it may be favorable to choose well the moment to carry out a self-assessment, dedicating a moment to us to reflect on our state, consider possible objectives, aspects that we want to change and how to carry out the upgrade. It is important that the moment we choose we can be relaxed as much as possible so that our thoughts are positive and we show a good attitude towards the possible factors to modify, thus avoiding self-destruction.

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5. Be aware of self-criticism

To ensure that self-criticism is done properly, we must be aware of when it is taking place to be able to control it and ensure that it is positive and constructive and its intentions. One way to control self-criticism is to try to do it frequently and intentionally, being aware of it, because that is how we manage to exercise this ability, first by training consciously and with greater effort so that we can finally do it without difficulty and in a adequate.

6. Use the description of behaviors

The correct way to do constructive self-criticism is to accurately describe a specific behavior or pattern of habitual behavior in us, thus avoiding focusing on personality traits or appealing to our supposed essence. As we have already said, we will try to make the behavior to change as concrete as possible. If we specifically describe the bug, it is easier to identify in this description how to fix it and obtain improvements.

7. Generate possible solutions

The technique that is used from the field of Psychology to try to solve the first problems, presents as one of the phases of action generate all possible alternatives to try to find the most suitable solution. Once all the alternatives have been proposed, we must assess the possible consequences that each one may entail in order to discard and finally stay with the one that is most appropriate. Likewise, if we see that the chosen option does not obtain good results, we can change and try another.

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8. Focus on one of two aspects to improve

It is normal that there are different behaviors that we want to change and try to improve, but if we try to modify and work on all of them at the same time, it is difficult for us to achieve good results. As we have already pointed out, we must spend time describing the behavior to improve and raise and assess the possible alternatives that may be useful to achieve improvement, this process requires dedication and, therefore, so much, if we try to cover many behaviors to be corrected, it is more difficult to be effective in solving each one.

We will have our attention focused on many behaviors to work on and in this way we will not be able to focus and dedicate ourselves fully to one of them, a behavior that is necessary to find the appropriate solution.

9. Take responsibility for yourself

Linked to self-blame, it is also essential that we take responsibility for the events that happen to us, but distinguishing between: the events whose results depend on us, of which we could do nothing to modify them.

There are events for which we are responsible, but it was not really within our power to do anything to prevent them from happening. Thus, it is important to know when the locus of control is internal and we can fix the responsibility on one itself and when, on the contrary, the locus of control is external and it is not our responsibility what He passed.

We must really take responsibility for the facts that belong to us and that it is within our power to change.

10. Change the evaluation perspective

It is normal for us to show a tendency to assess the situation according to how we see it, according to our perspective, but sometimes taking into account the point of view of other subjects can help us find other alternatives of solution. It is helpful to show flexibility when assessing facts, since in this way we can better understand and understand what happened. Only by valuing our vision do we lose very valuable and very useful information to solve our behavior.

11. be kind to you

A premise that we must take into account before making self-criticism is that everyone makes mistakes and that, therefore, perfection does not exist. We must therefore consider criticism as a possibility of learning and not as a form of punishment. Just as we can understand that other people are wrong, we must also allow ourselves to fail., since making mistakes gives us the possibility to rectify and be more aware of the correct way of acting.

Likewise, as we have mentioned before, we must set ourselves goals that are possible and realistic in order to achieve them and achieve a positive self-assessment, a better self-concept.