The 9 necessary factors for your change process to work 100%

Human beings find ourselves throughout our lives with situations and sensations that are difficult to manage: confidence problems, self-esteem, anxiety and anguish, insecurity, difficulties with your relationships, breakups of couple etc.

Sometimes these problems generate existential crises and in others they are like a latent problem, which stays with you over time. On many occasions, people try a thousand and one remedies to try to overcome what happens to them: courses, therapies, self-help books... But what really works? What should a change process be like for it to really work?

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Strategies to enhance personal development

The need to live a process of change where you learn about yourself and overcome what happens to you is a common experience in human beings. At some point in our life we ​​make the decision to overcome that difficulty forever. The first key to achieving this is to understand that the only solution must come from your own personal change, since we cannot control people or the world.

Then comes the big question: with all the perspectives that exist... What should a change process have in order for it to work 100%? What is the most beneficial for me? What can be more practical or profound?

It is common for us to ask ourselves these questions, especially in this globalized and digitized world so full of information, where every minute we are bombarded from social networks with a thousand and one new theories, perspectives or buzzwords (such as "toxic people", "narcissists", "if this happens to you it is because of this relationship from the past", etc.). This set of theories or words are still strategies to capture your attention that do not really help you.

For 11 years my job as a psychologist and coach has been to accompany people in their processes of personal change. Throughout this process I have been able to verify what works, what does not, even what habits on the part of the psychological support can be improved (hence, other more practical tools have emerged, such as coaching).

The most important discovery is that a process of change can and should be practical and at the same time profound, without both achievements being incompatible. It is about living a deep process where you discover more about yourself than you think, and at the same time practical, because It is useless to know you if that learning does not translate into your life and you manage to feel better from the start. beginning.

The objective of this article is that you know 100% what are the 9 keys or factors that your personal change process must have in order for it to work 100%. I'll tell you from my experience and according to the results achieved by the people who experience these processes.

Let's go first with what doesn't work, and that today is so common...

what doesn't work

Although psychology has been around forever (psychology is the study of our behavior and processes interiors and how to achieve stable changes that improve our lives and sensations), as a discipline it is relatively recent. Psychology is ethical, safe and reliable. However, many people have turned to more modern perspectives to try to solve their difficulties due to the need for more practical and faster tools.

Be very careful with this: the vast majority of those prospects they lack any scientific basis and can confuse you. In my case, I have accompanied people who needed a more practical process after spending too much time with other professionals. I have also accompanied very confused people after participating in courses and workshops for people without training or who were oversaturated with self-help books.

There are five fundamental errors in any change process that does not end up working in the long term.

First mistake: eventual company

In psychology (as well as in any type of process that imitates psychology or is inspired by it) it is usual to base a process on sessions. Sessions are a powerful tool for get to know you, expand your point of view, find the root problem and focus on solutions.

Nevertheless... When do your usual difficulties occur or feel? It does not happen in a session, but in your daily life. When it comes time for the session, many of those learnings and sensations are gone. Hence, accompanying only with sessions (this was also my way of accompanying as a psychologist and coach for many years) ends up being an eventual company that may not be enough.

Psychology is also a discipline that generates independence in people, and it is often thought that accompanying more constantly generates dependency. This is a myth to overcome. Dependence comes when all solution and action comes from the interaction with the psychologist. Nevertheless, a more constant company does not generate this.

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Second mistake: abuse previous theories

For a process of change to work, you must be the protagonist, and for this, it is important to work in your subjective world. What are you feeling? How do you interpret it? Which are yours values or what do you think are your needs? If you work from previous theories without contrasting (for example, that what happens to you is due to a "trauma from the past" or is related to a previous link, etc.) finally a fictitious perspective is created in you that does not help you to know yourself.

It is important and essential to work from your subjectivity as a unique case, and the professional must be a clean mirror for you, not a person who loads you with theories (this is the famous "transfer", an error always to be avoided in psychology, and unfortunately not avoided in modern practices without scientific foundation or basis academic).

Third mistake: an abstract process or one that is not very concrete and structured

When a process does not have specific objectives and it is only a matter of attending occasional sessions, the process lacks structure and takes forever. In my case, I have accompanied people who were tired of attending therapeutic sessions for years, and in a few weeks they have felt really significant changes.

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Fourth mistake: relying on the past

In experimental psychology we know that our memory is not a trunk of concrete and objective memories, but a present reconstruction according to your mood. Build on the past, try to dig into it, then, It's just a smoke that confuses people more. In a process we can work with difficulties from the past, but always from a practical solution in the present moment.

Fifth mistake: apply what you don't know

Today the intrusion that we live in the field of self-knowledge, well-being and personal development is so immense, that you will find a thousand and talks, workshops and courses on emotions, self-esteem, belief systems, concepts and areas of your personality that form part of the study of psychology, and that are worked without knowledge by other people, in a confused, superficial and equivocal.

Today the vast majority of slopes make one of these mistakes. We are now going to see what are the 9 essential keys for your change process to work and help you to have stable results.

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9 essential keys

These 9 keys have been around forever and have probably been applied by multiple cultures. In fact, the very Socratic method naturally includes them. However, perhaps because of our hectic lives and with so much information overload, we have forgotten them. These are the 9 essential keys that a change process must have so that it works 100% for you and that change is a stable part of you.

1. focused on you

A process of change must be centered on you, on what happens to you, on how you interpret situations, on how you relate and manage what you feel from your own subjectivity, not according to the ideas of the professional or therapist. From you, we can find the necessary changes to improve your situation and state of mind.

2. A practical process

To work, a change process must always be practical. If we do not apply different actions in your day to day, nothing will change and everything will remain in the field of desire and illusion. When a process or therapy is only based on conversations without us applying concrete changes, it may lead you to reflections, but not to changes.

3. also deep

Sometimes we think that the practical and the profound are incompatible. Quite the contrary. A process must be practical and deep. That it is deep implies that you discover more about yourself than you now think, that you internalize it and it serves you forever.

4. constant company

A constant company does not mean that the professional takes you by the hand, but rather that their availability helps you in times of difficulty. This is possible today thanks to technology. In my case, I accompany people constantly for any need they have. This is especially helpful when there are difficulties with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or if the person he lives difficult situations that he has to face and he needs that extra support to see possibilities and solutions.

5. Flexibility

Today we live in a busy way, hence limiting a process to scheduling sessions can be a factor against it. When the process is more flexible, we save time and you can live your process based on your day to day, according to your possibilities.

6. Always have an action plan

An action plan is a commitment to you to apply the specific and different actions you need to change your reality. This action plan is essential, since without it the process ends up being more ambiguous. In my case, we always try to do this action plan in one session, since it is difficult and a template or test will not help you. Each action plan is unique, totally personal, and it may be based on details that a psychologist can help you discover.

7. Living the process from your management of emotions

We are emotional beings and are influenced by every decision, interpretation, action and relationship. Therefore, any process that does not take care of the management of emotions will be lame. From your emotional world we can work with everything else. I propose a simple challenge for you to assimilate: try to think of any type of difficulty that have or have had in your life, or perhaps another person, who is totally detached from the state emotional. It is an impossible challenge! The emotion is in you at every moment.

8. Don't neglect any aspect of yourself

Although in a process of change you have a specific need, it is important that it be deep and for this we must not neglect any aspect of you: your way of building your self-esteem, your belief system, your communication, your relationship style, your values, etc. Human beings are holistic and we need to work in an integral way.

9. Have an expert company

If your process has these 9 keys, you will get the change you need for sure, although each person needs a particular time. This is the way in which I accompany my processes as a psychologist and coach for one main reason: the most important thing is people and their need to improve their lives, and for this it is essential to offer them the best process.

A change in your life, in relation to your emotions, self-esteem, confidence, productivity, quality of life, or personal or sentimental relationships can be difficult. In fact, it is natural that it is difficult. However, that difficulty is a barrier that we break when we begin to live the process. That this change is stable and that you learn about yourself is the most important key. If you want to live that process, remember that in Human Empowerment you can schedule a first exploratory session with me to take that first step. In this session we will be able to discover what happens, how to solve it and how I can accompany you. It is a session and process that you can live from home and with freedom of schedules, with constant, flexible company, and according to a practical and deep process.

I send you a lot of encouragement, illusion and commitment.

Thanks for thinking of you, Rubén Camacho, Psychologist and coach