Common communication problems between parents and adolescent children

Adolescence is a stage of change that is fundamental in psychological development; however, it is also a time in our lives when it is relatively common for us to experience poor forms of communication with the rest of the family, something that produces problems of all kinds between parents and sons.

This is due, in part, to the fact that in a matter of relatively few months, young people go from having behavior as a reference of their parents to have almost as their only reference the behavior of other young people their age, especially those who are somewhat older. This rapid change is disruptive in family dynamics and collides with what fathers and mothers expected of their sons and daughters up to that moment.

To better understand this type of phenomenon, here we will talk about common communication problems between parents and their adolescent children.

• Related article: "The 3 Stages of Adolescence"

The main communication problems between adolescents and their parents

These are the most frequent types of communication blocks between adolescents and their parents.

1. Communication deficits due to a mismatch of expectations

As we have anticipated, there are not a few families that are slow to accept that the little one in the house is no longer a child and has entered a stage that will transform him physically and mentally.

As this change occurs quickly, it is very common for difficulties to understand what you do, say or think, simply because fathers and mothers analyze their actions from the framework of interpretation that they used when they were still in the stage of childhood. It's hard to get rid of that inertia.

• You may be interested: "The 5 Communication Barriers, Explained"

2. misunderstanding of their friends

The type of friendships that are formed during adolescence is another of the reasons that generate discomfort in the relationship between parents and adolescent children, generally because of the fear that these young people will be a bad influence, is tell, the fear that these new friendships may lead the son or daughter down a path of bad habits, drugs, vandalism, etc.

We must not forget that adolescents insistently seek autonomy in their free time, and tend not to want to explain everything they do. This lack of information leads many parents to adopt a hypervigilant attitude and to interpret what adolescents do in a pessimistic way.

• Related article: "Adapting to a new way of raising adolescent children"

3. Differences in the way of seeing life

Not only age differences count; there are also important generational differences that can make it open a cultural gap between teens and their parents. Many middle-aged people have trouble understanding what their children are saying, simply because of their use of neologisms, terms from Internet memes, etc.

In addition, during adolescence it is common for the child to develop their own political and ideological convictions, which do not always have to coincide with those of their parents or their family.

This divergence of opinions can eventually generate conflicts and discussions on all those issues in which you do not agree with the child, a fact that causes a lot of discomfort in coexistence familiar.

• You may be interested: "What is Cultural Psychology?"

4. Decreased time spent with family

Adolescence is a stage in which it is necessary for the child to establish a series of limits with respect to their parents and the world around them, creating personal spaces in which he can enjoy some privacy.

However, it is when the child strays too far from his parents and progressively stops spending time with his family that real communication and coexistence problems that must be solved so that the adolescent does not feel left out and the parents recover their son.

5. Lack of respect

In the most extreme cases, adolescents can channel their frustrations through mistakes of respect towards their parents, given that these types of attacks are more normalized in their age range. age.

Obviously, in cases like this, communication is very hampered. No relationship can be positive if it is not based on respect and cordialityAnd that also includes relationships between parents and their adolescent children, a stage in which respect and emotional support are needed more than ever.

• Related article: "Verbal aggression: keys to understand this violent attitude"

To do?

at the time of improve communication between teens and parentsKeep these key ideas in mind:

• Do not prejudge, understand that adolescents have developed their own generational culture and that this makes sense within their logic.
• Respect the fact that he will need much more privacy than he did during childhood.
• Don't just bombard him with questions or he'll get defensive, establish conversations in which you also contribute.
• Explain your point of view about why you care about what he does, showing your most human side.
• If things get too complicated, seek professional psychological help.

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