Values ​​in adolescence: Important or irrelevant?

Have you ever wondered: What qualities are important in friendship? And in the couple? What would I wish for if I had a magic wand and 3 wishes were granted? What would I like a day of my life to be like in 5 years?

All these questions are addressed to find out what is important to youClarifying what your values ​​are, in a certain way, implies imagining, discovering and observing. Thinking about what you consider valuable will be the beginning to be able to maintain a life based on your values, and not on what third parties consider essential.

Values ​​can be defined as a person's principles and beliefs about what is important in life. In this way, they define a part of how we are, influencing the determination and expression of attitudes and behaviors, guiding the way in which we make decisions, act, think...

• Related article: "The 3 Stages of Adolescence"

When are values ​​developed?

Throughout childhood and adolescence, the value system of each person is built, decreasing the probability of change in adulthood. This does not mean that the present values ​​at 16 years of age are the same at 32, on the other hand, it is true that over the years this system tends to stabilize.

Thus, values ​​can be transitory and variable throughout life, but It will be in adolescence when this system becomes especially relevant. In this stage, the young person's own identity and autonomy are developed, where choosing the values ​​on which they would like to live will be essential.

Decisions made during adolescence could mark or condition their state of well-being for years. For example, the values ​​by which an adolescent is governed will influence what she decides to study when she finishes education. mandatory, what type of job to look for, with whom they relate (friends, partner...) or how they spend their time free.

Young people often have values ​​similar to those of their family and friends. On the other hand, on many occasions, the values ​​of adolescents do not coincide with those of their parents and extended family, and this will be a normal part of the development of their individuality. They begin to think for themselves, generate independence from their mother and father, developing their own vision of the world; they will be able to reject values ​​that they previously maintained, and, perhaps, later on, they can integrate them again.

As for friends and school/high school classmates, they may exert pressure to perform behaviors that are in line with what is “socially desired”, and not according to what the adolescent wants to do.

• You may be interested: "The 10 types of values: principles that govern our lives"

Creating your own value system

Developing your own value system implies:

• Discover and listen to what is important to you.
• Accept the feelings that appear when we autonomously choose a value by which to govern ourselves. Sometimes, insecurities and fears appear when having the possibility to choose and we will have to manage them properly to be able to take action.
• Act accordingly to the values, maintaining some flexibility.

Values ​​are there to guide us in most decisions we make, but they don't have to be 100%. There will be times in life when we do not act in accordance with a certain value, and it does not have to be something negative: the values ​​should guide us, not pressure us.

• Related article: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection"

How to support teenagers?

Many teens want to “do the right thing” but don't know how or feel confident enough to make decisions based on their beliefs, and end up prioritizing the opinions, ideologies and thoughts of their friends or family, before their own own.

Thus, it will be important to help the adolescent:

• Understand what values ​​mean, to define their own values ​​and to analyze the consequences of acting based on them.
• Develop the necessary skills to feel that they can take action based on what they believe, increasing their self-confidence.
• Learn to communicate assertively, handle unpleasant emotions properly, as well as resolve problems and conflicts appropriately, emphasizing the importance of not acting based on pressure from third parties people.

If these skills are not worked on, it is possible that, even if they discover what values ​​would be in line with themselves, do not feel the ability to act on them.

*Author: Olaia Fernández Fernández, General Health Psychologist at the TAP Center *.