The benefits of treating yourself like your best friends

Self-esteem is one of the most important elements of the way we experience life, and taking care of this aspect of ourselves is essential to enjoy a good balance emotional. However, not a few people fall into the trap of believing that if they treat each other harshly and very strictly in a constant way, that will allow them to self-realize and be the person they want to become. be.

The problems that this tendency to treat us unfairly produces are not long in coming, and lead us to enter a vicious circle: due to the psychological exhaustion we suffer from submitting to some such demanding standards that we self-impose, we are getting worse and worse when trying to achieve everything that we we propose And yet, many people are unable to realize that they adopt a very hostile attitude towards themselves that they would never adopt towards a friend.

That's where self-esteem takes value, which is the art of friendship with oneself and helps us not only to be happy, but also to gain control over our lives, to empower ourselves.

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What is self-esteem?

We can define self-esteem as the way we human beings perceive ourselves and the assessment we make of ourselves in any area of ​​our existence, whether in sports or work performance, in our ability to relate to others, in considering what we know and don't know, etc.

For several decades, psychology has been in charge of studying in depth the concept of self-esteem in the human being, as well as establish guidelines, strategies and techniques to improve it in any person who may present deficits in self-conception.

One of the most useful strategies in this regard is to treat ourselves like a good friend, a pattern of behavior that has different ramifications depending on the context in which we meet and the type of problems or personal insecurities that we face on a daily basis. And it is that having a good self-esteem does not consist in assuming that we are capable of doing anything, but in assuming that even in what costs us, and Even in the face of our mistakes and failures, we must maintain a constructive and understanding attitude towards ourselves, just as we would do towards a friend we love help.

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What are the advantages of treating each other as we would a friend?

These are the main benefits of not adopting a hyper-critical and unfair point of view when assessing how we are and how we behave.

1. lets accept us

Learning to accept oneself and to love oneself as we do with our best friends is the first step to start treating ourselves as we deserve and start the path towards improving self-esteem.

Self-acceptance helps us to embrace who we are together, without fear and with determination, and valuing positively aspects of ourselves that we may have in the past rejected or even tried to disguise.

Have a positive perception of ourselves both psychologically and physically, accepting our thoughts, emotions and opinions, will help us to have a stronger self-esteem and to be happier with ourselves themselves.

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2. Helps eliminate the guilt that does not contribute anything

The guilt that we feel throughout life for whatever reason can end up deteriorating our self-esteem and generating a vicious circle of self-incrimination: that feeling that we are tied to that “failed” or “corrupt” essence of our past It prevents us from thinking about improving as human beings.. And it is that, although it sounds counterintuitive, some people cling to guilt as an excuse not to consider changing; they prefer the predictability of knowing that in the future they will continue to feel bad about their own identity, than facing the challenge of learning from mistakes.

The feeling of guilt, justified or not, should be eliminated from our lives and it is up to us to carry out more accurate analyzes of reality in order to find out if we really feel that feeling for real reasons (and therefore, that allow us to learn) or for situations that we perceive themselves.

The guilt that a person feels is usually caused by a judgment that is too severe for himself, something that ends up deteriorating his self-esteem and his mental health.

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3. Allows for more positive self-judgments

Too severe or negative self-judgments towards oneself constitute one of the classic characteristics that we can find in people with too low levels of self-esteem. Plus, they make it easier for others to also see us from that prism that does not favor us at all.

Starting to assess our behavior with our own less severe parameters and not with those of others, is an excellent way to put into practice a better deal with ourselves, something that will undoubtedly contribute to improving our levels of self esteem.

In this regard, honesty and compassion are essential to make fairer judgments about ourselves, adapted to our personal interests and not to the wishes of others. In this way we will be able to accept things about ourselves that perhaps we previously valued negatively.

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4. It allows us to be true to ourselves

This new vision of ourselves will help us to be more faithful to ourselves and to maintain coherence between what we genuinely think, what we say and what we do throughout our life. It helps us respect our own values ​​and not give in due to assertiveness problems.bending to the will of others. It is also a basic element to develop our capacity for self-leadership.

5. Promotes a full life

Live according to our own convictions, being faithful to what we want becoming life provides us with the necessary drive and energy to tackle projects exciting and do not give up in the fear that “we will do it wrong” without having clear evidence that we are not prepared to achieve our objective.

In short, it helps us to live a fuller and happier life, in accordance with our convictions, and without missing out on opportunities.

6. It helps us value those who value us

Putting into practice a more respectful and cordial treatment with ourselves will also allow us, by extension, treat those around us the same way.

In this way, a virtuous feedback loop is produced in which by treating others better we increase both our own self-esteem and that of others.

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7. It helps us get to know each other better

Putting into practice a more positive and cordial treatment with ourselves will increase our self-esteem, what will provide us with the necessary push to start living fully for and by ourselves themselves.

This new life will also allow us to discover those hobbies or interests that we had hidden or that we had repressed in our previous life.

Besides that, we can also discover which companies make us feel better and on the contrary what kind of people we should avoid at all costs for the benefit of our mental health.

Do you want to boost your self-esteem and self-leadership?

If you want to develop the potential of good self-esteem, I invite you to participate in my course "8-week MBSR Mindfulness and Self-Leadership Program”, or to contact me to start a psychotherapy process.