6 tips for managing and resolving conflicts

As we all know, conflicts are inevitable.

In a simple way, we can define the conflict as the fact of having different opinions or having some kind of disagreement between two or more parties. The important thing about conflicts is not to avoid them, but to resolve them in the most effective way possible..

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Tips to know how to manage day-to-day conflicts

Many times we try to change the other party's mind, explaining why we are right and they are wrong. In reality, this is not having an adequate conflict resolution approach, moreover, this strategy may not be able to resolve the conflict, only make it worse.

The same thing happens when instead of facing the conflict, we avoid it and pretend it doesn't exist.

In this article I share with you 6 conflict resolution strategies or tips that I find to be effective.

1. Clarify the source of the conflict

A good starting point for resolving a conflict is to be clear about its origin. Defining the cause of the conflict gives us the opportunity to understand how the problem arose and what the solutions to that problem may be. Also, clarifying the source of the conflict allows us to reach a consensus between the two parties to determine what the disagreement is.

It is of utmost importance that both parties have clearly identified the problem. At this point it is important that we obtain as much information as possible about the views, opinions and needs of each person involved in the conflict. Asking open-ended questions is a great way to get that valuable information.

2. Make use of active listening

The active listening It is a very effective strategy when it comes to resolving conflicts.

Provide feedback to the other party, show that you are listening and avoid judgment. In this way, the other person will feel heard, taken into account and will have been able to express their thoughts and concerns. I also recommend that you validate their emotions with phrases like these: I understand that what you are saying has caused you discomfort or what you are saying is understandable. This whole listening part is very important and puts us in a better position to reach an agreement.

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3. Use the first person to talk about your emotions and opinions

Using the first person is one of the cornerstones of conflict resolution. In this way we will avoid blaming and take responsibility for our emotions, actions and thoughts.

Let's see it with an example. When someone is late for a meeting we can say to him: Why are you late? I had asked you for maximum punctuality. However, if we speak from our own emotions we could tell you: I felt very frustrated for not starting the meeting at the agreed time, for me it was very important. When we are working on conflict resolution, taking charge of our emotions can make a big difference. This will prevent others from becoming defensive.

4. Brainstorm to create a list of solutions

This technique is also called brainstorming or brainstorming. Brainstorming is a tool that is widely used in groups and that allows new, innovative and creative ideas to arise on many occasions. It consists of people launching ideas without much filter or without much sense. Eliminating judgment is very important. Then in a later step, the ideas will be filtered and refined. And, of course, those that are not viable will be eliminated. Exploring as a group all the possible ideas for a mutually favorable result, can make ideas appear that individually we would not have thought of. In addition, it encourages the participation of all the people involved.

5. Find a middle way

The greatest conflicts arise when a solution satisfactory to all parties is not found. Therefore, it will be necessary for the parties involved to think of a middle path in which both parties give up something.

Actually, if you think about it, this leads to a type of result in which both parties lose. At this point it is important to recognize the effort made and leave a space for mourning. It is also important to say that this type of solution can be proposed as something temporary, that will be modified as soon as there is an alternative in which neither party has to give up something.

6. follow up

I think it is important to follow up to see if the agreed strategies are working as expected by all parties. This follow-up can be done through another meeting, an email, a call, etc. This it will give us the opportunity to make sure that neither party loses its way and will allow us to detect problems and areas for improvement.

Have you ever had to deal with a conflict that has gotten out of hand? We would like to know your experience in the comments.