The pain of no longer being

The pain of no longer being.

Avoidance is not the answer.

The phrase is from a tango that Carlos Gardel sang, an emblematic character of my country. In it he relates what his feelings are after having suffered a love disappointment. tango is called Downhill.

It's nice to hear it, but beyond that, and making a somewhat illicit extension, what Gardel relates wonderfully it is something of what has been happening to us in relation to the events that we have been suffering since of 2020. Perhaps much has already been said about this topic, but its effects and tail blows do not stop appearing, nor do their consequences diminish.

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Adapting to the post-pandemic

We have been trying for more than two years now to try and pretend that we can get back to where we were, and no matter how hard we try, we are not succeeding.

We force a new normal with the roots in the previous years and it does not seem that the road went that way.

We try not to think about it, and we return to travel to move as before, to neglect hygiene measures that should already have been incorporated into daily life, and I am not referring only to sanitizing ourselves with water, but to all kinds of hygiene that includes health, both mental and physical; so that

most of our behaviors seem more like a challenge to fate than an apprenticeship.

We continue to remain from the stalls, observing a work that does not show us the end, but makes us suspect an unexpected twist. We believe that this work has already premiered and we have seen it, but we do not realize that the events are chaining and growing. There is a silent "pain of no longer being", and as long as this is the case, we will remain bogged down in a duel coagulated and elusive without any learning.

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Crisis times

The latest events in the United States, the violence that we see in schools and on the streets, the poor learning and care for children, the consequent school failure, the mental sequelae of confinement, the excess of technology, the desire to save time that was already lost and the increase in denial, together with the idea that the world is ending and everything must be done now, the restructuring in the companies, the failure to incorporate new forms of leadership into institutions and guide coexistence, are just some of the consequences that we find ourselves with today a day.

I think we all watch a higher level of aggression in human relationships, both in the leaders and in the common street. Those of us who have children know that children have changed.

Those of us who work know that workplaces are unstable, that the economy in general does not provide stability, sometimes not even the minimum to guarantee health. That there is a war, even if we look the other way.

Those of us who are in white overalls know that today's pathologies are not those of a few years ago, they are cruder, more severe and with origins more remote than a stress crisis.

From the highest place of despair with which the pandemic that was the death of relatives devastated us, to going through COVID-19, which was lived like Russian roulette without knowing who it was going to touch, like the confinement and the consequent increased use of psychotropics and other substances such as alcohol and drugs.

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Domestic violence, aggressiveness in the streets, the uncertainty of knowing if we would continue working or being crude if we would continue alive, anxiety, depression, stress and constant exposure to the media, were in our day to day, like a bad sleep.

The bad news is that there are remnants of those moments they are still with us, time does not heal everything, of course not.

School failure is a direct consequence of this time, parents put under their greatest demand, families abruptly had to look for a poorly rehearsed dynamic. Children and adolescents were affected by a noticeable drop in academic performance and productivity. The lack of socialization both in the older ones and in the smaller ones, stopped their learning until they were faced with the possibility of not speak correctly, not only because of the level of language management and understanding of simple texts, but also because of the literal meaning of speech. Children who, as a result of having the lack of vision of the lips of their parents or those who formed them, did not finish articulating their facial muscles, those involved in the correct diction.

Coping with vital and social crises

Confined to loneliness and exposure to dysfunctional families, they were exposed to domestic violence and various types of abuse. Without neglecting the implication of the family economic situation

new emotional dependencies or the resurgence of existing ones, such as games on social networks that became more severe and the relationship with them became almost continuous. The telephone and the insistence on reviewing the lives of others, not so much to participate in it, but to compare on each device how happy the other person was and how far that happiness was from my life today.

When you talk about suicide It is believed that there is an exaggeration on the part of those of us who lived through it, especially in the early days of the pandemic, as we also see today, in the worsening of depressions and destabilizations of the cheer up.

In the light, the issues of poor or deteriorated socialization, poor handling of uncertainty, communication and, as I said, dependence on devices, substances or people arose.

The incorrect handling of the exits of this crisis that still lasts and that this note tries not to forget so that let us keep our minds alert to the signs that mark a visible beginning of the manifestations that are already presents. The decline in social signs of the pandemic did not end with her. Let's not pretend again that nothing happened or that it already was.

Avoidance is a false solution

The parents used medication and the children consumed other "more accessible" substances, unfortunately. Avoidance is not the answer. At an increasingly early age we find addictions; Studies show that drug use decreased until around the age of 14, therefore the acceptance or not of substances is referred to in the examples. In adults, the escape from a situation that makes us adverse is often resolved with the little pill on the bedside table or in the wallet. That it seems that it has passed in time does not numb the consequences of its absolute presence with present value.

The Internet provides us with excellent tools to hang a shelf or to correctly adjust a faucet, but it is also a provider of diagnostics of all kinds, from medical to psychological where anyone and without much effort can find a way to solve something that internally or externally happens.

Solve complicated issues with magical ease and feel that we are capable of doing so watching a couple of videos, from having great abs to weird diets (needless to say, not everyone is fit indiscriminately), to solving a personality disorder that someone relates easily and simply in three steps as he faced it in his life. I congratulate anyone who has overcome problems with effort and discipline, but mental health is a serious matter and years of study support why things are done in a certain way and not another. Teaching the criteria to regulate both children and adults, which is true that it is illusion on the small screen, is a pending task.

In adults it will be everyone's responsibility, but we must remember that in extreme situations such as confinement our demons seeped through our best-covered cracks and out into the light, Were we and are we in a position to choose when our defenses are down? It is always good to ask for help from a valid and suitable interlocutor for each topic, especially in these times.

The younger ones, whose interests are more plain, but no less important, toured sexual movie theaters that do not always reflect a real reality of love and cared for where it is not only about relationships between people but also care for the body is simply neglected in the face of different pathologies that could happen.

We write with the hand and erase with the elbow, free sexuality and without prejudice is not care-free sexuality, it is a responsible act that does not evade reality, which we often want to avoid. It is the responsibility of health professionals in general, physical and mental, to be vigilant and in continuous training to be able to sustain this tsunami of emotions, some about to be unleashed and others already on stage.

Going back to work or not is a discussion that still persists, reasons for and against. It would be convenient to adopt certain customs left by the pandemic in terms of working or not at home, among others, or doing it on some days, as is happening.

The evidence shows that when this appears scheduled from the higher levels, it decompresses the feelings, for example, in mothers who leave their children and who are the ones who capture the evolution and the feeling of the themselves. That is, to look more closely at human requirements from a more affectionate and empathetic vision that allows the best development of individual capacities.

Teaching the exercise of responsible autonomy where everyone achieves a commitment to the task they have to perform. Promote from all areas the commitment to the function and with the clarity of a framework that helps us manage the uncertainty that is already much more installed among all of us.

we're going through a duel and its effects, it is necessary to go through it without closing our eyes and without letting it pass between us without learning. That we make decisions with conscience and information, that we understand that the "brunette from Gardel's tango" has already left us and that we need imperatively find a way out of a harsh reality, which can be resolved if we are not the abandoned ones of a reality that is no longer, to be the protagonists of a balanced future attentive to our own most internal and primitive needs, those of love and those of feeling caring for everyone. Overcome the pain of what has been lost and give value to what we can gain.