And you… Do you know how to communicate?

Sharing with different people is very enriching; however, the differences always entail exposing oneself to an error that is easy to understand, but difficult to accept. Many times things are said that they did not mean to say, or they talk more than necessary, without explaining themselves well and generating great controversies; sometimes it is not what is said, but how it is said, how those feelings and emotions are expressed...

Communication is the only means you have to interact with the other, and this must be assertive, respecting that difference that exists in the other human being.

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Learning to adjust our communication strategies

Every word that comes out of our mouth comes out with an intention. This can be to destroy, build, hurt, heal and even curse and bless, but each one is part of the communication that you have; not only with the couple, but also with anyone around.

Today we have many ways and means to communicate: verbally, with gestures (non-verbal), letters, chat, voice memos, emoticons and more. But it does not stop communicating; the bad thing is that now the communication is not being assertive, each person interprets the information as he wants, and that is where today there is a big problem.

All things are solved by talking. However, no matter how many words, ways and intentions to communicate, if the receiver is not willing to accept and analyze the other's point of view (which is totally different) you can never communicate assertively, there will never be a solution to the inconvenience that exists, since the perception of the other person is marked by the circumstances lived.

For this reason, it is worth highlighting the importance of making the decision to be empathetic when someone speaks at the moment of communicating; this will allow you to enjoy healthy relationships, less problematic and much healthier.

• Related article: "Assertiveness: 5 basic habits to improve communication"

But… Is it easy to communicate?

The truth is that if; nevertheless, You have to be very attentive to that verbal and non-verbal communication. For example, a car communicates with turn signals and parking lights when turning, stopping, or parking.

When he is going to turn right (for example) he puts the turn signal to the right, but what happens when the driver is distracted and instead of putting it to the right he puts it to the left? It will confuse the drivers behind it, often causing accidents and incidents on the road, just for being entertained and not paying enough attention to what is transmitting. But if the driver pays attention and sends the right message, he will probably not commit any incidents and avoid many accidents, it's that simple! It simply fails because the receiver is distracted, entertained or thinking about the perspective of the situation; in this way he cannot understand what the sender wants to transmit to him.

Likewise, when the sender transmits information, he often does so with fear, filling himself with thousands of assumptions about how the other can think, suppose, react to that information that on many occasions transforms the lives of both from that moment, so it is they end up omitting important details, giving half information or totally different from what their heart desired simply because fear.

Fear plays a fundamental role in communication, since we live in a society where the person who thinks differently is judged and is not allowed freely express their feelings, desires, dreams and emotions because it is simply a craziness.

Communication interceptors are:

• Thoughts unrelated to what is being talked about.

• Desires and perspectives of what is spoken.

• External agents: cell phone, television, music, video games, chores, people.

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Question yourself!

• How many times have you felt afraid to say something because perhaps that word, thought or emotion could end your interpersonal relationship?
• How many times do you no longer speak, but act out of inertia or habit?
• When was the last time you manifested your desires, without fear?

If we talk about a couple, communication is vital for the existence of this link, since as the relationship matures, it becomes more necessary to transmit information.

One of many examples: many couples stop communicating the desire to be intimate and when the time comes moment, it simply swings over the other, without a preamble, without a courtship, without first preparing the land; perhaps the intimidated couple does not verbalize their desires, but their silence grants the acts, and these generate gaps that will never be filled.

What gaps? Feeling used / or by your partner and that's when relationships due to lack of communication begin to collapse, consciously and / or unconsciously due to this situation.

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Keys to good communication

• look into the eyes when speaking
• Speak without fear and with love
• listen carefully
• Find spaces to talk
• Do not let too much time pass to communicate what you feel or what bothers you.
• Not communicating things in public
• Privacy and limits
• stop prejudice
• Not judge
• respect differences
• reach agreements
• Question, did I make myself understood by what I just said?
• Ask for forgiveness when necessary, forgive and be willing to change

Another fundamental thing is respect; respect the differences between the feelings, emotions, ideas, ideals, dreams and points of view of the other it will make every relationship healthy and communication can be assertive. Many times we say something and we don't make ourselves understood, that's where you see the importance of asking if the message you wanted to give was received appropriately.

Many times we need help to learn to communicate, do not hesitate to look for a professional to guide you in this field so important for life.