How to set limits in the summer for teenagers

Summer is a period of rest that is usually seen with great enthusiasm by adolescents, among other things because it involves experiencing changes qualitative in the routines they carry out: trips, seeing friends who are away the rest of the year, parties that only take place during the weeks of activity tourist etc

During this vacation period, the adolescent has a large number of free hours to carry out any activity that she wants and also to meet friends of her age in different places of the city, but this must be accompanied by a readjustment of strategies to apply limits and rules, created always with their interests in mind. It is part of the most beneficial and responsible parenting models.

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Setting standards in summer in the upbringing of our adolescent children

Here are some general tips on how to apply rules and set limits as a parenting strategy for teenagers during the vacation period.

1. keep a schedule

During the summer holidays it is common for teenage children to spend the first few weeks watching TV, playing video games or resting for long hours without attending to any other obligation daily.

Although it is necessary for the adolescent to have time to rest after the academic year, it is also it is necessary that they maintain a fixed schedule once the first days of rest without a schedule are over.

This new summer schedule must allow the adolescent to go to bed and get up later, but always having a time limit that our son must respect, as well as ensure that other productive daily activities are carried out, in addition to watching TV or playing video game.

We must set specific times to return home based on the age of the adolescent child and make it clear that these must be met, but the reason for this must also be explained.

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2. Entrust household chores in which they can participate

One of the tasks that must continue to be maintained during the summer is housework, always in a consensual manner with the adolescent. Making young people participate in these activities usually has the effect of making them more involved in the proper functioning of domestic dynamics.

This means that no task should be imposed by force, but rather we must negotiate those tasks that the son wants to do voluntarily to continue collaborating with the proper functioning of the house and life in common.

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3. Consistently enforce the rules of coexistence

Although it is summer, it is necessary to enforce the rules of coexistence that govern the family environment during the rest of the year, in order to maintain order, discipline and an effective education model in our House.

Some of the basic rules of coexistence that should govern in our house are, in addition to fulfilling the tasks household chores, have family meals, attend family events and carry out scheduled activities in family.

It is also of great importance always maintain consistency in the rules or sanctions that we apply to children, not to fall into contradictions that can confuse our child and always act as authority figures.

This means that if we have already said "no" to a request from the adolescent, we remain firm in the refusal and let us understand that our decision must be respected above any stuff.

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4. set an example

Whenever we apply any rule or behavior pattern, we must make sure that we are the first to comply with it, unless it doesn't make sense for adults to follow her (for example, by putting restrictions on putting hours to get home). In the latter case, the reason for this age distinction must be made very clear. And it is that one way to educate children is through imitation and acting as role models with respect to them.

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5. Avoid excessive sedentary lifestyle

During the first days of vacation it is normal for the adolescent to dedicate himself to resting and gaining strength after the school year.

This break consists of spending several hours on the sofa watching television or playing video games for long hours, something that may be acceptable for a few days, but not must become the constant throughout the summer because it damages their physical and mental well-being and, in addition, it can make young people isolate themselves and feel alienated from the rest of the family.

In order to avoid an excessive sedentary lifestyle and the appearance of intra-family friction, we can schedule outdoor activities as a family or encourage the teenager to spend a few hours playing sports of all kinds, either with your siblings, alone or with others friends.

Although adolescents need time to socialize with friends and peers their own age, psychology professionals recommend that during the summer activities be scheduled to be carried out together in family.

Spending time with the family, playing games or doing joint activities It is also very beneficial for adolescents, since it promotes the establishment of emotional ties with their parents or siblings and favors family life in general.

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6. Impose proportional punishments

Like the rest of the year, the punishments imposed on our son must always be proportional and based on a positive parenting model, that is, without yelling or violence and always promoting communication between parents and sons.

If, for example, our son has had poor academic results, the punishment will depend on whether it was due to lack of study or if it is the result of some internal problem that she may have both in her capacities and in her emotional health.

That is why whenever something goes wrong, communication must always prevail and we must try to find out at all times what happens to our son, if there is a problem or if he needs help of some kind.

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7. Educate in healthy and positive lifestyle habits

Summer vacation is usually a festive period when teenagers get together to dance and have fun in various nightlife environments, in which the consumption of alcohol and other substances harmful to the organism.

Instead of forbidding her to go out with her friends, parents should talk openly about the dangers of nights out in summer (preferably, giving examples and without falling into too abstract explanations), especially for young people, and make it clear that they trust their child to be responsible enough not to put their life in danger.

Some of the dangers that can be discussed with a teenage daughter or son are drug and alcohol use, or fights at night.

8. Not prioritizing academic and study work

It is sometimes recommended that teenagers have homework, but remember that vacations are to disconnect and for each one to use their autonomy to carry out hobbies. Filling the schedule with academic obligations will be seen as an arbitrary imposition and an unfair "trap", something that can encourage a rebellious attitude towards all the rules in general.

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Are you looking for professional psychological assistance?

If you want to have psychotherapeutic support, get in touch with me.

I am a General Health Psychologist federated by the FEAP and I attend adolescents, adults and families.