Egotism: what it is and how it is expressed in the personality

Although it may be confusing, egotism is not a synonym for selfishness. Although both terms start from the Greek term "ego" which means "I" and have often been used as synonyms, Psychology currently differentiates both words.

A person who puts their own desires or their own benefits before those of others is defined as selfish. Although egotism also refers to a personality tendency where the subject thinks more of himself than of the rest, differs from egoism insofar as the continuous need to talk or write about themselves that people qualified as egotists.

According to his definition, egotistical people are those who give themselves an excessive importance, instead, in the egoism we are not talking about an exaggerated feeling for one's own personality, but about excessive love for oneself.

Although for many unknown, this term is quite old. It first appeared in an article in "The Spectator" published in 1714. In this article We will see in more detail what egotism is and how it develops at a social and individual level, we also expose its characteristic features and explain how to deal with them.

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What is egotism?

Some people cannot see beyond themselves. Tolstoy called this phenomenon aduyevschina, after the name of the main character in Goncharov's first novel.

egotism is the excess of importance that some people present who constantly need to talk about themselves, putting their need for recognition before that of others.

An egotistical person has a strong sense of self and maintains a good perception of their personal characteristics. A good self-concept if it is accompanied by a degree of objectivity is something positive. However, egotistical people believe that they have more positive qualities than they really do, and that their value is greater than that of others. Their personal importance and their view of themselves is exaggerated. These overestimates may include physical, intellectual, social or of any other kind.

For some authors, egotism is a socialized version of narcissism, in this type of person the sense of their own importance, and the need for admiration does not become inordinate, nor pathological. But like narcissists, egoists love the idea of ​​themselves, are boastful, arrogant, and think they are more important than the people around them.

Egotistical people tend to talk only about themselves and they cannot recognize when others have achieved something. Their lack of sensitivity can make them angry when they feel ignored or neglected, while their inability to accept criticism can encourage them to self-promote a lot.

Egotism moves away from altruism and concern for others. However, contrary to egoism, egotistical people do not constantly seek to satisfy their own interests by putting them before others. those of others, moreover, they can take them very seriously if they pay attention to them and satisfy their need to be cared for and heard. Although, if they are criticized, they will not react excessively either, the great concept that people have of themselves egotistical will make them consider any type of negative appreciation or comment about them, such as envy, or lack of information.

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development of egotism

Egotism is typical of individuals, especially in the early stages of development. This term can also be applied to describe a society or culture considered too childish, where individuals are too focused on themselves and their worldview.

1. individual egotism

During growth, We went from being self-centered children to having a social conscience. Babies tend to have a big ego, thinking that they are powerful, unique, and important, and their parents must meet all their needs. Egotism is normal in babies, moreover, it could be considered a survival mechanism.

Self-concept is a person's understanding of himself, his personality, and his identity. The self-concept is fragile and can be overcompensated if a person does not gain a good sense of self and personal characteristics during development.

In the course of development, a person gradually acquires a more realistic view of himself in relation to the world around him, diminishing egotistical characteristics. A person who does not acquire this adjustment between the estimation of himself and reality, can develop an egotism described as defensive (overcompensation for a weak concept of himself). Growth must lead to the integration of the "ego" with the "ego" of other people.

2. egotism in today's society

Although egotistical characteristics disappear as we grow older, some authors suggest that a different trend can be seen in cultural terms. According to these, postmodern society is becoming more and more infantile. They explain it with the evolution and the opinion of egotism in the course of history. In the 19th century, egotism was considered a vice, as was self-contemplation. However, during Romanticism there were already ideas and movements that saw self-contemplation as a way of acquiring knowledge and allowing us to get to know ourselves. The romantic idea of ​​the self-creating individual was a kind of authorized egotism. This self-centered thinking has only grown.

Currently, the original romantic egotism is fueled by what the authors call "techno-capitalism." in two complementary ways, first, the self-centered consumer, driven by his identity of brand; second, the equally self-serving activists, who rage against the machine (techno-capitalism), producing more goods than can be sold to consumers.

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Characteristic features of egotism

As we have already said, for some authors, egotism has a close relationship with narcissism, the former being a more attenuated version of the pathological condition.

However, there are some differences. Being more specific, narcissists they need constant adoration and often seek praise. They also react strongly to criticism. Egotistical people, on the other hand, have a high level of confidence, so they are less likely to seek praise (they know that are good) and are more likely to ignore criticism, see it as based on jealousy or people are not okay informed.

Now, let's take a look at the most common egotistical personality traits, and how they manifest in everyday behavior.

1. exaggerated self-concept

Regardless of the reality of the situation, egotistical people think that they are the best and that they are never wrong. Faced with a negative event, they may claim that they did not say or do what they are remembered to have done., or what really happened. Sometimes they can be so convincing that others may doubt themselves and their own memory of what happened.

Therefore, an egotistical person can ignore the experience of others or not consider it valid, and can feed back their personality with the confrontation. Instead of getting defensive when this happens, it's better to anticipate.

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2. Lack of responsibility

Egotistical people never take responsibility for their actions. If they do something wrong or cause a problem, their main strategy is to try to put the blame on someone else. If we live or work with someone egotistical, it is useful not to wait take responsibility for their actions, so we don't feel frustrated or disappointed that they don't. In the case of discovering this personality trait in ourselves, we have to understand that at assuming the consequences of our own actions will make us have a better self-concept of ourselves themselves.

3. Lack of empathy

People who have a hard time understanding how others feel can sometimes have narcissistic personality disorder. However, the lack of empathy between egoists and narcissists differs in degree.

While a narcissist does not have the ability to show empathy, an egotist has difficulty being empathic in some situations. Especially if someone is being sensitive about their struggles or explaining their problems, the egotistical person will think that they just want the spotlight and will not be sympathetic or empathic.

If we are dealing with a difficult experience or need emotional support, an egotistical person is not the best person to help us. Instead, it's best to have a positive support network with people who care about others as well as themselves.

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4. Excessive self-centeredness

An egotistical person seeks to focus attention on himself in every conceivable way. Egotists say me or me all the time, and find ways to include their personal stories in conversations where it's obviously not necessary. This recurring behavior can have social consequences, egotistical people, due to their self-centeredness, they can end up alienating friends and family from their lives.

5. Lack of compromise

Egotistical people do not do things that are not especially beneficial to them or where they are not the center of attention. Which means that they do not commit to going to events or places beyond their interests. Although the fact of not being invited to an event can be a source of conflict, because they may think that they are not taken into consideration.

In conclusion, managing an egotistical personality is quite complicated. In the case of frequent contact with someone egotistical, it is good to establish clear limits from the beginning, for example, on the topics that are not going to be discussed. Also, understanding that their way of reacting or acting has nothing to do with us, so anticipating and being aware of it can also prevent us from frequently feeling frustrated.