How to identify the 4 basic styles of communication?

It is important to learn to identify the different styles of communication, and recognize which one we use most often in our daily interactions with friends, family, and co-workers. Similarly, it is important to know what style of communication others use.

Properly identifying the 4 basic communication styles is important if we want to develop effective and assertive communication skills.

• Related article: "The 10 basic communication skills"

What are communication styles and how to recognize them?

In this article I explain in detail the 4 styles of communication: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and assertive communication.

1. passive communication

Passive communicators avoid drawing attention and often remain silent. In addition, during debates or discussions they do not usually take a firm position. They usually do not share their needs or express their feelings. This makes it difficult for other people to identify if they need help or if they are not feeling well.

As you might expect, this difficulty in expressing thoughts and emotions often leads to communication problems and a buildup of resentment and anger.

Next, I share with you some behavioral characteristics of the passive communication style:

• Inability to say no.
• apologetic attitude
• Concern.
• Avoid any confrontation.
• He does not express his feelings and desires.
• Has difficulty assuming responsibilities or making decisions.
• Give in to other people's preferences.
• Refuse compliments.
• Does not defend their rights and needs.
• Prefer not to participate.
• Victim attitude.

At the non-verbal level People with a passive communication style tend to have the following characteristics:

• Little eye contact.
• Very low voice volume.
• Soft voice.
• Try to make yourself as small as possible, looking down.
• Gestures of restlessness and nervousness.
• They appear smaller than they really are.

You can recognize passive communication through phrases like the following:

• I don't care, really.
• Nothing happens, you choose.
• You choose, any option seems fine to me.

• You may be interested: "The Major Theories of Personality"

2. aggressive communication

Aggressive communicators express their thoughts and feelings, and strive to meet their needs, even if it violates the rights of others. You will easily identify them because tend to hold the reins or dominate the conversation. They have a tendency to act impulsively, without first thinking and meditating on things. As you can possibly imagine, this negatively affects their social relationships.

Next, I share with you some characteristics in the behavior of people with this style of communication:

• They don't take turns to speak.
• They dominate others using different techniques.
• They can be humiliating.
• They criticize in an unconstructive way.
• They tend to be impulsive.
• They do not tolerate frustration well.
• They have no listening ability.

nonverbal characteristics of people with an aggressive communication style:

• His tone of voice is raised.
• His voice is perceived as authoritative.
• They usually use abrupt and aggressive gestures.
• They maintain eye contact in an intimidating manner.
• They present an arrogant posture.
• They can invade the personal spaces of others.
• He points with his finger.

You can recognize an aggressive communicator by these types of expressions:

• Re crazy.

• My way of doing it is the best.

• He often uses phrases that begin with "I" very frequently. It's always "me, me, me."

• I am right, you are wrong.

• Related article: "How to give constructive criticism: 11 simple and effective tips"

3. Passive-aggressive communication

The communication passive-aggressivemay appear to be passive communication at first, but in reality, they have aggressive motivations driving their actions. While their words may sound nice, their actions don't always line up with what they say.

At first, you can classify them as passive, but you will end up realizing that their communication style is passive-aggressive. Passive-aggressive communicators can quietly manipulate a situation to gain some benefit. It is important that you know that in this type of communication, people express anger in a subtle or indirect way. People who develop a passive-aggressive pattern of communication often feel powerless and resentful.

passive-aggressive communicators They usually behave as follows:

• They use sarcasm.
• They have difficulty acknowledging that they are angry.
• Because they don't know how to confront the person or the problem, they mutter to themselves.
• They deny there is a problem.
• They use sabotage in subtle ways to get revenge.
• They may seem like a cooperative person, but at the same time they do things on purpose to annoy and interrupt.
• What they say doesn't line up with what they do.

As for the non-verbal:

• They often use facial expressions that do not reveal how they really feel. For example, they smile when, in reality, they are very angry.
• They often speak in a soft, sweet voice.
• His gestures can be abrupt and/or fast.
• They may be placed too close to other people.

People with an aggressive communication style use expressions of the type:

• Okay, whatever.
• After saying something sarcastic or hurtful, they say they were just kidding.
• It is better that you do it as you say, because my ideas are not very good (said with irony or sarcasm).
• Don't worry about me, I can do it alone, totally, normally I always have to do things alone.

4. Assertive communication

assertive style is a respectful communication style and is the one that gives the best results when communicating.

Assertive communicators are able to share their thoughts and ideas confidently, yet remain respectful and polite with others. They know how to say no when necessary. That is, they set limits, but without acting aggressively or defensively. All this encourages open and sincere dialogue considering the needs of others.

assertive behavior It manifests itself through:

• They like to collaborate and share.
• They express their ideas and feelings in a healthy way.
• They encourage conversations in which all people can speak and are heard.
• They speak in the first person.
• They know how to say no.
• They listen to others.
• They know how to ensure that their rights are heard and taken into account.

At the non-verbal level We can distinguish assertive communicators by the following traits:

• They maintain good eye contact.
• His voice is calm and calm.
• They use expansive gestures.
• They have a relaxed posture.
• His voice is clear.

Communicators with this style use phrases like this:

• I am responsible for my decisions.
• I respect the needs and opinions of others.
• Thanks for your opinion.
• We all have the right to express ourselves.

Knowing communication styles is a first step in learning to communicate better, both for ourselves and for others. What communication style do you tend to use?