How to help a relative with depression?

Depression is the most common psychological disorder in our society.. Statistical data indicates that around 10% of the general population is or will become clinically depressed throughout their lives.

However, despite being such a common problem, the person usually finds it difficult to detect these symptoms and therefore it can take a long time to seek help. This is because depression is a disorder that starts very little by little, and whoever suffers from it tends to underestimate this symptomatology by believing that it is a temporary "bad streak" and that you will be able to get out of the situation by your own own means.

But depression is much more than all this; it's actually about an emotional disorder that involves major changes in the way we feel, think, and act, and contrary to what many people think, it has nothing to do with being more or less emotionally strong.

• Related article: "Major Depression: Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment"

How does depression arise?

When someone is depressed, their way of thinking begins to change,

he starts thinking badly about himself and blaming himself for everything that happens around him.

Self-esteem is significantly affected, and that is why those who experience depression believe that the others do not have any appreciation, that the world is a hostile place and the future is uncertain and without hope.

Symptoms

The main symptoms in a person suffering from depression are these:

• Low mood, intense sadness, feelings of hopelessness.
• Loss of interest in activities that were enjoyed or little pleasure in doing them on most days.
• Lack of energy or intense tiredness.
• Want to cry for no reason apparent.
• Sleep problems (insomnia or excessive sleep).
• Difficulty concentrating or memory problems.
• Irritability (In adolescents, this symptom is much more common than sadness.
• Significant changes in appetite, which can cause weight gain or loss.
• Loss of sexual interest.
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt.
• Negative thoughtsExcessive self-criticism.
• Recurring thoughts of death.

In addition, depression is a devastating problem for the couple or relatives, since people in the immediate environment usually do not know how to help, which often leads to great frustration, guilt, and angry feelings. This in turn makes the problem worse, reinforcing the idea that others reject you and that you are to blame for the suffering of your loved ones.

How to help a depressed relative?

Let's look at some tips on how to provide support in these cases.

1. Do not blame yourself

The first thing is to understand that family support is very important to overcome depression but that it is the person himself who has to take responsibility for getting out of this situation. That is, you are not guilty that your partner or family member does not get ahead, you are a help, but ultimately, the job of getting out of the well is only yours.

2. Don't take it personally

Although it is complicated, try not to take their pessimism, irritability, apathy and sadness personallyThey are not under your voluntary control.

3. Reward improvements

Every time you smile, take the initiative to do something, be more affectionate, participate in conversations, want to go out, etc. Express your appreciation verbally and non-verbally.

4. Do not talk all the time about problems

The depressed person tends to be very concerned about all the problems around them. Although at first it seems to us that it is good that he vents, the truth is that having problems as the only object of conversation makes the person increasingly obsessed and focus only on the negative side of your life.

If she brings up these types of conversations, listen to her without judging her and without making reproaches, and change the conversation to another topic that you know she likes.

5. don't overprotect

Let him know that you are there no matter what, but without asking excessively or being constantly aware of their behavior. Also try not to give too much importance to behaviors related to irritability or sadness.

6. Don't take your responsibilities

Do not carry out tasks that correspond to him or her, because inadvertently this can be a benefit that makes the person adjust to this situation.

7. The importance of leisure activities

As we have seen, the depressed person loses interest in the activities that they used to like to do, even the ability to enjoy them. A good help is encourage her to gradually recover those leisure activitiesStarting with the ones that cost you the least to do and the ones that you found most rewarding in the past.

8. Ask for professional help

It is important that this person is placed in the hands of a professional as soon as possible, to be able to start working on all those issues that are reinforcing the depressive disorder.

Once the treatment begins, the psychologist will begin to propose weekly goals that you as a family member can help them meet to improve their state of mind little by little.

However, you should assume that recovery is a long road that often has ups and downs and that it is important to encourage the person not to give up and to finish the treatment.

At our psychology center in Seville we have extensive experience in treating people with this type of problem. Get in contact with us without obligation and we will guide you to find the most appropriate way to help your partner or family member.