"I want to change my life": 23 steps to start over

All of us, at some point in our lives, have wanted to change. Either because our partner has left us and we were largely to blame or because we were doing a university degree that, in reality, was not what we wanted.

Change is normal in humans and in nature, but it is not always easy. From these experiences it is very normal and understandable to reach the following conclusion: "I want to change my life".

Keys to change your life

Changing or transforming is an individual process that begins with oneself, therefore, we are the main drivers of our change. But it is frequent that our own beliefs or the fear of change can interfere in the change of life that we imagine so much.

If you are determined to change, in the following lines you will find the necessary steps to carry out the change process.

1. know yourself

When it's time to start over, the first stepis to know yourself. Know what your desires are, what are the qualities you possess and what is the direction you want to follow. The first step to change is self-reflection and self-awareness.

• Recommended article: “Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection”

2. Find a purpose in your life

Self-knowledge is key to being able to find out what is the purpose that one has in life. Having a vital objective is key because it keeps us motivated: it is the force that helps us move and that supports our day to day. Now, changing does not only consist in visualizing the purpose, but in enjoy the road while chasing.

3. do it for you

To do the above effectively, it is necessary to connect with yourself, which is why it is so useful to know yourself thoroughly. Because many times we think that we want to change, but it is the opinion of others that influences us in such a way that we believe that what they impose on us is what we want. The goals to be pursued must be genuine, otherwise it will be difficult to change.

4. open to change

The previous point leads us to make the decision to change, and therefore, it is necessary to have a good dose of will. Being open to change means being willing to transform and pursue goals through a certain amount of effort.

5. Plan the change

Once we are clear about our desire to want to change and we know what we want to change, it is necessary to plan the change. If it is possible even to have it written down on paper, it is easier to visualize and allows us to make less effort when it comes to bringing it to mind when we need it. hOh, we have to set small sub-objectives and set a date for them.

6. But… set short-term goals

It is not worth only setting long-term goals, but we need to take into account short-term goals as well, because it is the only way that we are motivated during the change process and that we do not forget our commitment.

7. Get out of the comfort zone

The comfort zone is an intangible place where we feel protected and comfortable, and getting out of this zone causes us to have to make an effort to test mental schemes that, despite seeming adaptive, are not always so.

• Related article: "How to get out of your comfort zone? 7 keys to achieve it"

8. Don't be afraid of uncertainty

And it is that leaving the comfort zone can cause a certain degree of anxiety, largely due to fear of uncertainty. Not knowing what awaits us when we change can cause fear if we do not have enough confidence in ourselves or if we only visualize the negative consequences of the transformation. That is why we must put aside this irrational fear and seek analyze risks calmly and analytically.

9. Be aware that there may be ups and downs

Accepting that we can fail is also positive. That does not mean that we should give up if things do not go as we wish, but rather that we must be prepared to overcome ourselves and get up as soon as possible after a fall.

10. motivate yourself

Knowing how to motivate yourself is also one of the keys to being able to change, and it is one of the best qualities that a person can possess.

• If you want to know how to do it, you can read this article: “The 10 keys to motivate yourself”

11. Don't compare yourself to anyone else

Change is an individual process: it is you who says "I want to change my life", not another person subject to a context very different from yours. That is why you should not compare yourself with others, but remain faithful to yourself and your desires and fight with all your might.

12. Do not blindly listen to the opinions of others

Nor should you listen to all the opinions of others, because some people tend to project their own fears onto you. If someone doesn't have the will to change, they probably don't believe you can either.

13. Think about the reward

To remain self-motivated during the change process, it is important that you visualize the reward or positive consequences of achieving the change. However, it should not be forgotten that the transformation process is itself a prize.

14. love yourself

It's also important not to be too hard on yourself and accept that things may not turn out the way you planned. Of course, you can rectify and learn from failures. If you don't have empathy with you, who will?

15. Keep it real

The objectives and goals that we set for ourselves must always be realistic, otherwise, we can find ourselves with false expectations that they can get in the way of the change process and lead to frustration, which is not only unpleasant but also discourages you from strive.

16. Challenge your limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs are those irrational thoughts that do not let us change and that interfere with our individual growth. For example, "I am not able to do this because I always have bad luck." Overcoming these types of thoughts is necessary so as not to stay halfway to change.

17. take responsibility

Taking responsibility means empowering yourself in the face of change. It is the ability to respond to the events that occur around us with sufficient self-leadership capacity, which allows us to overcome adversity. You must be clear that you are the person responsible for your decisions.

18. abandon victimhood

The opposite of taking responsibility for change is playing the victim. While responsibility is action, victimhood is paralyzing.

19. seek help

Accept help from others If you think that this desire to lend a hand is genuine. If among your friends or family there is no one capable of helping you with certain things, you can consider the option of hiring trainers, teachers or coaches.

Coaches are experts in personal development and help people improve their self-awareness, plan realistic goals, empower themselves in the face of change, and become self-motivated. Hiring a professional in this field can be helpful in maximizing your chances of transformation.

20. Don't lose sight of the present

Keeping your feet on the ground is vital to carry out the process of change, That's why it's important to be in the here and now., connected with oneself. It is good to keep change in mind, but to achieve change you have to work daily and not forget where you are on a day-to-day basis.

21. Take advantage of the way to learn

When things don't go as planned it is necessary to learn from the experience and get back on track again, that is, to get hooked on the change again. Successful people are those who learn from failure and get up again and again after falling down.

22. practice detachment

Detachment, understood as emotional release, is key to the process of change. This does not mean getting rid of the important people in our lives, but it helps us see things from a much more realistic and less emotional perspective.

• You can learn more about detachment in this article: “5 laws of detachment to be emotionally free”

23. Learn to manage emotions

Both excess and lack of motivation can interfere with the change process, and although some may think that excess motivation is positive, it can cause us too high expectations in the change process, which can lead to frustration. Being aware of our emotions and learning to manage them is a determining factor in personal transformation.

Starting over is letting go

In conclusion, we can highlight the idea that to change you have to learn to make decisions, accept compromises and accept the idea that it is better to let go of certain elements of our day a day.

In this way personal development will be carried out effectively and there will be no demotivating and frustrating setbacks.