Being a child in today's society: myths about childhood

Much of the currently published literature focuses on the difficulty that today's parents present when it comes to deal with, educate, treat and manage the relationship with children. Parent-child conflicts and the feeling that parents are "overcome" due to the bad behavior of their little ones seem to be more frequent than before.

However, another equally relevant issue would reside in considering the perspective and own experience that the child himself has about the step by the stage of childhood in the current era, which we will analyze below and may be more complex to handle than it could be to think It is convenient to discard certain myths about childhood to understand well the psychology of the little ones.

• Related article: "The 6 stages of childhood (physical and mental development)"

Social changes that influence child development today

Urra (2007) makes an interesting analysis of the factors that have been modified in society and that may be influencing how children develop psychologically today.

1. Permissiveness

Today's society is more permissive than in previous decades, when a more authoritarian structure prevailed (for example, the predominant governmental dictatorships in the West during much of the 20th century). On the other hand, the values ​​that seem to be transmitted in recent times, perhaps as a reactionary response to submission to the indicated authority, they are related to materialism, individualism, consumerism, hedonism or relativism.

• Related article: "Positive discipline: educating from mutual respect"

2. Exposure to adult content

A large volume of media content is program-oriented. violent, sexual, that promote success based on purchasing power / economics, the competitiveness etc To which must be added the amount of time minors spend in front of the television, Internet, social networks, video games, etc., alone and without the supervision of an adult who can instruct them for their proper use.

3. Life today is hectic

The change in the style and rhythm of personal life. Parallel to the advancement of technologies, the pace of life has accelerated in such a way that a "chronometer" functioning in which the individual must perform as many activities and tasks throughout the day. There is a concept called "agenda child" proposed by the same author that is used to designate children who combine school attendance with an endless list of extracurricular activities and obligations.

4. Liberalization of the family model

The family structure has been altered compared to previous generations. Today there are single-parent, heterosexual, homosexual, reconstructed families derived from previous divorces, etc. The variety has generated different forms of family organization that have an impact on the type of education that the progeny receive.

On the other hand, currently more "intra-family" life is carried out than "extra-family": contact with grandparents, uncles, cousins, etc., has been seen reduced since parents and children have less time for it and, therefore, limit family life to members who live together together.

5. Abandonment of responsibilities

The abandonment of the role of some fathers / mothers, for which the display of affection or love through gifts and material rewards is confused combined with unlimited permissiveness with the educational role that would theoretically be attributed to parents (offering time, dedication, dialogue, active listening, support, sharing experiences, setting standards, guidelines and limits, teaching values, etc.).

6. Questioning educational styles

The existing educational discrepancy between families, being able to differentiate between the application of permissive, authoritarian, negligent, overprotective styles, etc. In addition, the differences between families and teachers also seem to be more evident. creating a climate of questioning or distrust of the teaching figure in the face of possible sanctions applied to the student).

Erroneous beliefs and myths about childhood

Some of the main myths about the psychology of children that are held today are the following.

1. psychological essentialism

There is a type of belief shared by some of the parents "overcome" by the bad behavior of their children regarding the presence of intrinsic evil in the child that leads him to commit the behaviors of loss of respect, rebellion, defiance and disobedience. Nothing is further from reality. Until the stage of youth and the beginning of adulthood (around 24-25 years) the individual does not have a complete development of all the brain structures that allow you to exercise deep reasoning about your own actions or behave in a mature, ethical, civilized, empathic; These structures are known as prefrontal cortex.

Therefore, the minor he does not have that ability that is attributed to him to consciously embitter existence and premeditated to the parents, since at these ages the minor does not know very well that he is the right thing or the appropriate thing in a given situation; is learning it. Therefore, it seems unfair to think that the child should behave like "a miniature adult"; the child is a child

2. Learning does not shape personality

Related to the above, it does not seem correct either to conclude that the child behaves in a certain inappropriate way. because "it has come out like this".

It is true (already in late childhood and adolescence) that the last person responsible for the behavior is the one who performs it and that there is a difference in temperament that discriminates between more serene or more "moved" individuals, but it is no less true than given that the minor is in an apprenticeship constant The environment plays a determining role in shaping behavior of the child.

Thus, the interaction between personal factors (internal or personal) and factors derived from the context (external, such as the type of family and education received) are the causes of the behavior that they finally externalize children. In this sense, different educational styles (democratic, authoritarian, permissive or negligent) present a determining influence.

3. affection has its price

Another of the ideas that some parents frequently apply is the fact of thinking that it is possible Generate children's feelings of affection towards them through material rewards, as previously mentioned. Contrary to what it may seem, children are equally happy with half or a quarter of the money that parents invest under the pretext of keeping the little ones happy.

Research and analysis of a large number of interviews and testimonials conducted over the past decade indicate that children value much more than concrete material rewards. the time and attention that their parents dedicate to them on a day-to-day basis.

The active listening, dialogue, joint decision-making, shared activities, an empathetic and understanding attitude in the face of difficulties that can arise on both sides, etc., are aspects that count to a much higher extent than the fact of making the latest console model available on the market.

Conclusion

The preceding lines are intended to be a set of reflections that, in certain cases, can help parents to understand more deeply the reasons why Your child's behavior is not as expected. By analyzing the indicated erroneous beliefs, situations can be resolved in alternative ways. daily situations of conflict, in which the application of empathic capacity can be of vital importance.