6 ways to deal with jealousy

We will all agree that none of us like to feel jealous. However, it is a fairly common emotion that almost all of us will experience at some point in our lives. In addition, jealousy can appear in very different situations, such as in relationships, family or work environment, among others.

The problem with jealousy is not that it comes up from time to time or that we have some thought about it in isolation; the problem appears when we don't control them and treat other people badly because of jealousy. If you feel jealous from time to time, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are a controlling or toxic partner. This would happen when you don't know how to deal with jealousy and you let it guide your behavior.

Therefore, I think it is very important to learn to deal with jealousy in a healthy and adaptive way. In addition, feeling jealous harms other people, but also ourselves, since they make us not feel comfortable with ourselves, we have insecurities, etc.

• Related article: "The types of jealousy and its different characteristics"

What is jealousy?

The feeling of jealousy can arise when we think that our partner you are attracted to someone else or spend time with other people you feel comfortable with. The situation can get worse when we feel that the other person is a threat, for example, because they have a better job than us or have a body that is socially better viewed.

Jealousy is a complicated emotion. It's a combination of feeling insecure, overwhelmed, scared, and lost. They usually arise when we feel envious and possessive of another person, job position or circumstance.

Jealousy often manifests itself in the form of accusations, suspicions, questioning the behavior of the other person or her daily activities and compare yourself with others among others.

The person who feels jealous usually shows resentment, frustration, impatience, anger and general malaise. Also, experiencing jealousy can cause anxiety symptoms.

• You may be interested in: "Emotional management: 10 keys to master your emotions"

Ways to deal with jealousy

We are now going to see 6 strategies to know how to deal with jealousy in the best possible way:

1. Responsibility for own emotions

Taking responsibility for our emotions is essential. Jealousy is our responsibility. Asking the other person to do something different so that we don't feel jealous is not taking responsibility, but it is putting the responsibility on the other person.

• Related article: "The 8 types of emotions (classification and description)"

2. Think about what's underneath the jealousy

It is important that you can filter the sensations, images, feelings and thoughts that arise when we feel jealous. We can reflect on what sensations, images, feelings and thoughts arouse jealousy. Does the current scenario remind me of a situation in my past? Does the image of my partner smiling at another person lead me to an old feeling? The more we can connect these jealous emotions to the past events that created them in the first place, the better we can understand our current situation.

• You may be interested in: "Self-knowledge: definition and 8 tips to improve it"

3. feel the jealousy

Accepting and feeling our emotions with compassion is a necessary part of the process. Trying to avoid the feeling of jealousy will not make it lessen. It will simply look for other ways to manifest itself.

4. don't act

It is possible to accept and acknowledge our jealousy without acting on it. You can learn tools to calm down before reacting, for example, you can take a walk or take deep breaths to avoid acting on impulse. Acting impulsively can lead us to snap or punish someone we love.

5. talk about it

When jealousy takes over, it's important to be able to express it in a healthy way. share our emotions can help us stop ruminating on our jealousy. Letting off steam is fine, as long as it involves letting out our irrational thoughts and feelings, while acknowledging that they are exaggerated and irrational.

6. Go to a psychologist

Many people go to therapy to work on issues related to problems in social relationships. There is nothing wrong with going to therapy to resolve feelings of jealousy and better understand where they come from.

Finally, I would like to tell you that if you find that you cannot put the above strategies into practice, it does not mean that you are doing it wrong, it possibly means that you need professional help to learn how to manage jealousy. It is not an easy task and many people need to start a process of psychological therapy to understand where their jealousy comes from and implement strategies so that it does not appear.