What is the relationship between self-demand and anxiety?

Self-demand is defined as an attitude of demanding oneself, of always wanting to improve and reach new goals; This can be adaptive, but when it increases excessively it can lead to the appearance of an anxiety state or disorder.

A person with a high degree of self-demand will show low self-esteem, always focused on achieving unattainable goals that generate frustration, will constantly perceive the negative aspects, with a high degree of self-criticism and without the ability to delegate responsibility or say that No. All these traits cause different alterations to occur in it, as is the case with the presence of anxiety.

In order to reduce his discomfort and make him more adaptive and functional, it would be advisable to train different skills and abilities, working on irrational beliefs and negative, teaching the patient to relate appropriately with others and with himself so that he knows himself and spends more time, with the purpose of reducing his anxiety and being happier.

In this article we will focus on

How anxiety and self-demand are related and what problems they can give rise to.

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What are self-demand and anxiety?

Anxiety is defined as a combination or set of emotions that arise before the possibility of a future danger, that is that is to say, it appears without there being an external stimulus that provokes it, the subject anticipates the possible negative consequence that can happen.

This emotional state is constituted by a triple response system: the subjective, referring to the cognitive part; the physiological, which would be the somatic and motor part, referring to the behavioral, although the cognitive component is the one that stands out the most as a response.

On different occasions, the term most used to compare with anxiety and thus better understand its characteristics is fear. In the case of anxiety, the response that is given is more diffuse and, as we have pointed out, there is no stimulus in the exterior that is the cause of such a reaction, but it is an anticipation of the possible danger, in the future. On the other hand, fear is a reaction where the biological and automatic components are activated to a greater extent, appearing when the danger is present, at the present moment.

Anxiety won't always cause problems; It is common for it to appear in situations that give us respect to face, such as before taking an exam, the problem It will occur when this does not decrease and continues to occur, and may even lead to the appearance of a behavioral disorder. anxiety.

In reference to self-demand, this is defined, as the term indicates, as an attitude of demand and criticism, one's own, of oneself. This attitude can be positive if we know how to control and regulate it, since it encourages us to grow and continue to improve as people. Although it is also true that when this self-demand is excessive it can have a serious impact on the person, affecting their mental health and can generate typical pathological symptoms of disorders such as depression, anxiety or stress.

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How self-demand and anxiety are related

In the previous section, when we defined self-demand, we pointed out that this attitude towards oneself can be beneficial, making us improve and guiding us to achieve the desired objectives. But when it exceeds adequate levels, alterations can appear, which can lead to serious disorders.

When self-demand begins to be pathological or negative, we detect characteristics such as set unattainable goals, which he understands as obligations, a very rigid mentality and only focused on achieving the desired goals, they like to be recognized for their work, it is difficult for them to delegate tasks and their own conception of themselves will depend on achieving the results intended, has a low tolerance for frustration with high self-criticism, always focusing on the negative aspects and with Fear of failure.

In the same way, it is also characteristic that very self-demanding people present thoughts dichotomous, this means that for them everything is good or bad, white or black, there are no gray intermediates. In the same way, related to the thought, this is focused on the results, they do not value or take into account the process to reach them.

All these typical characteristics maintained in the long term have consequences or negative effects on the person who presents them, since will enter a loop where nothing will ever be enoughAlways demanding more. So it is common for the self-esteem of these individuals is altered and that it depends solely on the successes achieved, it will not benefit the self-esteem that your thinking is focused only on the negative things, always analyzing and evaluating what has not gone well, what has failed.

On the other hand, it is common for him to want to cover more than he can, always saying yes to everything that is asked of him, since, as we said, he wants to feel good, valued by others. In the same way, it will be typical for it to show somatic conditions, pain in different parts of the body such as muscles or the head due to the tension and accumulated pressure.

Given the characteristic and habitual traits displayed by individuals with a high degree of self-demand, if this is maintained over time can lead to alterations in the psychological state of the subject, especially in his state of cheer up. If we keep in mind the definition of anxiety that we have described in the first section, we see that this discomfort and anticipation of negative consequences are also present in self-demanding people.

It is for this reason, because the two terms show similar traits, that it will be common for people to with a high self-demand also present symptoms and can even be diagnosed with a anxiety disorder.

The subject will enter a vicious circle of more self-demand and, therefore, more anxiety, it will never be enough, they will always want more, but paradoxically this constant thought of always giving more of oneself on many occasions it will not let us act, it paralyzes us and this therefore leads to a greater feeling of anxiety because we see that we are not moving forward and that we are moving away from our objectives.

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How to control self-demand and reduce anxiety

There are many factors that influence our degree of self-demand, it is true that there is a predisposition of the person to present a greater or lesser degree of this, but the society where we live also produces effects that always they ask for more, It is a constant to achieve results and be successful, and this obviously does not help at all to be able to control our demand and it is common for it to lead to anxiety disorders.

For this reason it will be important to treat it as soon as possible and try to control this psychological trait so that it affects the subject's health as little as possible. Asking for help is the first step and it is very important, since we are acknowledging that there is something that is causing us discomfort and we want to change, this being a fundamental point for improvement to take place.

Currently, the most used type of therapy and that normally shows greater efficacy in different disorders, anxiety being one of them, is Cognitive-behavioral therapy, which, as its name indicates, uses cognitive techniques to modify and regulate maladaptive beliefs and negative feelings that the patient has and behavioral techniques to improve the behavior of the subjects and make them feel more functional and better about themselves themselves.

The therapist accompanies and teaches the patients tools so that they can face the situation favorably and improve their quality of life. Thus, working on the self-esteem of the subject, proposing a new focus and a new way of valuing it without the successes or results being the that influence her and learn to know her limits and her strengths to reinforce them and know that they can be demanded in a way realistic.

Through cognitive techniques, it will also be possible to work on maladaptive thoughts and beliefs that have these subjects, trying to make them more flexible and not so catastrophic and negative with respect to one same. In the same way the person will be trained to learn to self-evaluate positively and to self-reinforce, being aware of the good aspects that it has and thus be able to reward yourself for them.

In the social or relational sphere, we can work so that they are more assertive, know how to defend their rights and can say no without thus thinking that they are disappointing others. On the other hand, as we already mentioned, it is common for them not to delegate work and they end up doing everything themselves, so to reduce the work overload it will be It is necessary that they trust others and delegate responsibilities, knowing how to do it correctly, knowing how to lead, is even more functional than doing it all by one same.

Finally it is essential to dedicate time to yourself, that we listen to each other, that we know our thoughts, how we feel, since in this way we can organize them and act preventively if we see that something is not going as it should. In this way, take time during the day to relax, to disconnect from work and to do the things that really make you happy and make you feel good, live in the present.