7 keys to avoid bad luck in love
Love life is as intense as it is complicated and, on many occasions, confusing. If knowing oneself is already complicated, making our way of thinking, behaving and understanding the world fit with the psychology of another person is a daunting task. That is why couple problems are frequent.
However, not everything depends on chance, and we can do a lot to make things go well when it comes to sharing a life with another person. There are ways to avoid bad luck in love, make the positive potentials smile in our favor and that a good part of all the good that can happen in a relationship ends up happening.
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Guidelines to avoid bad luck in love
As we will see, making our love lives flow well is, in large part, taking those relationships with a philosophy of life based on simplicity, honesty and constant communication. How to put this into practice? Let's see it.
1. long term mindset
One of the characteristics of couples in which the relationship is in good health is that both members adopt a philosophy according to which the fruits of this relationship appear
in the small details of the day to day and they are more numerous the older the relationship is.When a couple in love has been together for a long time, the simple fact of having a long history of good times and bad times can make intimacy grow enormously. This intimacy is what makes the relationship unique in the long run, since nobody knows us as much as someone who has been with us for a long time, both crying and happy moments.
2. Manage care well
Every person, no matter how good and well-intentioned they may be, can give us reasons to despise them. This is so because many times we focus our attention on personal characteristics and attributes that we value as something negative.
This can also occur in the couple as one of the causes of heartbreak, and that is why it is important that what accumulates is not the resentment that remains after the discussions.
Many times the problems come not because of the lack of good times, but because of a tendency to obsessively remember the bad that is in the other and that emerges from time to time. Sometimes it is something spontaneous and cannot be avoided, but other times it is simply a strategy of management of resentment so as not to accept that in certain couple problems it is oneself who has the blame.
3. constant communication
It is crucial to speak. From relevant things or from day-to-day trifles, the important thing is to create opportunities for conversations to appear and develop. This will make it possible for the relationship not to start being guided by presuppositions and initiatives of "trial and error" that, in addition to producing frustration when it fails, show disinterest in the personality and motivations of the other person.
Neither insecurities nor shyness They are excuses for not talking, and avoiding bad luck in love also involves fighting those personal battles.
4. Do not create “event lists”
Many people try to spice up their relationships by obsessively planning romantic and marital events. Although carried out in a timely manner are fine, these initiatives cannot constitute one of the pillars of the relationship, for various reasons.
The first reason is that create an artificial obligation to always be looking for "peak experiences" or new, which causes rejection due to the fatigue and effort they require. If that fatigue and stress are associated with the relationship, it is seen as something desirable. Sometimes, it can even happen that we believe that it is the other person who always demands that kind of whims, when it is really one who is obsessed with the subject.
The second reason is that setting up these kinds of calendars full of events takes time away from the alone time that is really desired, thus there is less intimacy and moments to really communicate beyond the "hobbies".
- You may be interested in: "The high psychological cost of giving too much for a relationship"
5. Do not take the relationship as a prison
It is true that all love relationships require a minimum degree of commitment of one kind or another, but that does not mean that these limits are given in advance and cannot be negotiated. In fact, the opposite is true: each couple must find their compromise space, order their priorities, and make all of this adapt to the common objectives and the needs of each person.
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6. Base relationship on image
In love there are times when the mistake is made of living more the fantasy of the public image that this relationship gives than the relationship itself. That reduces spontaneity and authenticity to what happens between two lovers.
7. Fall in rutine
Falling into a routine is not so much doing basically the same things every weekHow to always do the same thing, believing that this is what is expected of the relationship or what the other person wants. As always, everything is a matter of talking about it and making clear the interests and motivations of each person, which can change over time.