The crisis of the 30: what is it and how to deal with it?

As we enter our thirties, some people are unable to cope with the changes that this entry into their third decade of life brings. More responsibilities, longer and more complicated hours, more demanding jobs...

Of course, ending the twenties is a substantial change. While little more is required of us during the second decade of life than to study and begin to enter the labor market, when we turn 30 we are asked to settle into a stable job, and even the arrival of babies and mortgages to our routine.

• Related article: "The 9 stages of the life of human beings"

Crisis of the 30: how to face it?

Being a widespread problem, the truth is that many people find themselves confused and with an excess of responsibility and stress when they turn thirty. What tips and strategies can we recommend from Psychology so that they can get ahead quickly?

In today's article we are going to explain what the mid-30s crisis is and various tips to alleviate this emotional burden.

1. Demystify the pressure to have a birthday

The crisis of the thirty has a deeply rooted cultural component. Certainly, age is just a number, but society insists on making us carry certain backpacks (responsibilities, chores, demands) and, in the case of women, even with the dreaded watch biological. This implies that culturally they feel increasing pressure to have children.

The effects of this way of conceiving age as a way of accumulating social pressures of all kinds is highly dysfunctional. We must relativize the fact of having a birthday and take into account that what society understands mostly as positive or "according" to a certain age range does not have to be positive or beneficial for our lives.

2. assume responsibilities

The older we are,we have a greater tendency to want to own more goods, to have a better job, a bigger and better furnished house… Beware of all this. Getting older has to mean taking on certain responsibilities, but we shouldn't fall into the trap of becoming anxious and stressed.

We live in a society that values ​​material goods and the social position of each one above all else. The fact that you are 30 years old or older and have not yet been able to find your place in the world does not imply absolutely nothing. In fact, many people who have succeeded in life have had disappointments and moments of heartbreak, even who have finally been able to find what made them happy (which is not always linked to what material…). So, we have to assume responsibilities, but being aware that the clock is working in our favor; never have to assume a reason for stress or frustration.

3. Living alone is not a drama

In the crisis of the 30s, a cultural cliché comes into play: it is the one that says that women should have children (before “the rice passes them”). This myth can disturb many women who find themselves between a rock and a hard place. Maybe they don't want children, but society is constantly reminding them that they are of an age where they can't take much longer.

In this case, it is also necessary to promote our understanding that there are alternative ways of life that can fit perfectly with the personality of some individuals. Or is it that we cannot be happy if we do not live as a couple or if we do not have children?

4. Be thankful for everything life has given you so far.

We return to a social and cultural factor that tries to harm us once we enter our thirties. This mercantilist society makes us feel a strong self-esteem only if we have achieved economic well-being above average. And in reality, Most people who live happily spend their (little) money traveling, having unique experiences, discovering new places, enjoying the little things of every day., etc.

We must, every day, congratulate ourselves and be grateful for how we are, for our past achievements and for everything we have been able to experience to date. The material benefits will come, we have our whole lives ahead of us and we should not feel bad if we have not achieved great milestones in this regard.

5. Assume the mourning process

Thirty is an age when, generally, we will have some important loss within our family circle or friends. Our parents are already close to old age, and it is likely that we have already left the bubble of adolescent and post-adolescent well-being to immerse ourselves in a life with moments that are truly hard.

This process of adaptation to a routine with ups and downs can lead to some psychological problems. It is important here to highlight the valuable quality of resilience, which is that force that makes us recover even when things do not go as we wanted. assume the duel When we lose a loved one or have a sentimental breakup, it is another of those aspects that will make us emerge stronger during the crisis of 30.

Bibliographic references:

• Lachman, M. (2004). Development in Midlife. Annual Review of Psychology 55. p. 305-331.
• Lachman, M. (2001). Midlife Development Manual.