What to do if my child tells me they have been sexually abused

child sexual abuse It is among the most traumatic experiences that a minor can experience, and that is why both from Psychology and from Health sciences in general have invested a lot of effort in investigating this phenomenon and in developing tools to prevent and evaluate it.

Among these resources, we find psychological tests that are applied in the context of forensic psychology, as well as strategies and patterns of behavior that are disclosed so that parents know what to do if a son or daughter tells them that they have suffered abuse sexual. Therefore, in this article we will talk about what caregivers need to know and keep in mind when helping a child who has been abused and take the first steps in the judicial field to ensure their protection from that moment on.

• Related article: "Forensic Psychology: definition and functions of the forensic psychologist"

Guidelines to apply if your son or daughter says that she has suffered sexual abuse

Any boy or girl who finds himself in this situation can feel helpless if he does not receive the necessary family and professional help. This becomes a challenge, because, as for their parents, they are often disoriented and not knowing what to do or where to go to care for their child.

From the field of clinical psychology, child sexual abuse is a widely studied topic and in which a series of guidelines for action have been established that we must follow if our son or daughter tells us that someone has sexually abused him or her.

On the other hand, from forensic psychology, a series of psychological tests are made available to families that help to demonstrate that the abuses have taken place where they have occurred, and also allow estimates to be made about how they have affected the minor's mental health.

With the aim of providing a useful guide with which to know what to do in these dramatic cases, Next we will review the keys to take into account if your son or daughter says that they have suffered abuse sexual.

1. First of all, don't interrupt

A common, though understandable, mistake is to interrupt the minor due to the emotional reaction this generates in the parents and mothers, who may feel that at that moment they "lose control" and feel an expression of anger or even impulses violent. As far as possible, it is important not letting this reaction rise to the surface in a way that is intense enough to make the son or daughter afraid before the consequences of having explained what has happened to him, either due to the stress generated in that moment when seeing what happens to his father or mother, or because of a feeling of guilt when observing how he generates discomfort; victims of abuse tend to judge themselves negatively and blame themselves, in part, for what happened.

For this reason, it is important that from the first moment the focus is placed on making it relatively easy for that person when it comes to take the difficult step of talking about what happened, without creating disruptive situations or distracting attention in the most important.

• You may be interested in: "The 12 basic communication skills"

2. Apply active listening

When our son tells us that someone has sexually abused him, the most important and essential thing is to listen to everything he has to say, tactfully, without interrupting him or questioning anything he says at that moment. This first step can be painful, as our son may be affected by what happened and he may have a hard time explaining his experience openly. To do this, we must show him that we listen to him and that we consider what he says to be very important, that we take it seriously. seriously, as this will be seen as a sign that we can take effective steps to help you and look after your security.

We must bear in mind that any child or adolescent who decides to tell their parents about such traumatic experiences has had to make a very big effort and perhaps you have been suffering for several days or months in silence for fear of possible negative consequences of everything guy.

In the listening phase it is not necessary to go into details about the type of abuse they have suffered or who the perpetrator was if the minor does not feel prepared to talk about it, already in the first talk about it, so that he does not feel overwhelmed. In addition to offering direct and open listening, it is important not to question anything they tell us, and we must also tell them that nothing that has happened is their fault.

• Related article: "Active listening: the key to communicate with others"

3. Ask

Secondly, it is important to ask him a series of key questions so that both his father and mother know what kind of abuse our son has suffered.

This phase can start after a few hours or the next day, according to the degree of certainty with which we know that he is not in danger in the family context, to make sure that the boy or girl is ready to talk to us about this type of painful topic and is in a position to remember the experience again.

These questions about the nature of sexual abuse should be adapted to the developmental level of the child, since it is not the same to ask a 3-year-old child as it is to ask a 7-year-old or older child. That is why we must make ourselves understood and ensure that he or she tells us everything that happened.

4. Undertake the steps at the judicial level and request an expert psychological evaluation

The next step is to report the abuse suffered by our son to the police, something that Sometimes it can be difficult, especially if the abuser is a family member or someone close to the person. family.

The complaint must be made as soon as possible to initiate all legal procedures as quickly as possible., with the ultimate goal of guaranteeing the well-being of the minor.

In parallel to this, it is advisable to contact psychologists who offer forensic psychology services, since in this way it will be possible to have an expert psychological report that provides relevant information about the case; this facilitates the process of proving that such abuses have taken place and, furthermore, helps to know the extent of the psychological consequences that it has left in our son/daughter.

The expert psychological report is the legal and scientific tool that expert psychologists prepare to help clarify the facts that are being judged.

This report is one of the essential pieces of evidence used in all kinds of judicial processes in which it is decided whether or not there has been a crime of child sexual abuse; It is a document written by psychologists who do not position themselves for or against anyone, and who simply work from a technical role to gather relevant information and provide their conclusions analyzed from their point of view as specialists; this information is then taken into account by judges and lawyers.

The psychological report that an expert psychologist writes It contains all the evidence that gives credibility to the minor's testimony and also the conclusions of all the tests and psychometric tests that were administered. have been administered to carry out the complaint in a criminal proceeding, such as drawing tests in which the child or adolescent explains what occurred, the analysis of chat conversations, the results of clinical evaluation tests to see if there are signs of psychopathological sequelae, etc

In addition to that, in the psychological reports they contain what is known as the preconstituted test, it is i.e., the victim's recorded statement recounting all of her experience(s) of abuse sexual.

• You may be interested in: "What is the psychological expert report on conversations?"

5. Seek help from other health and educational professionals

When we find out about the sexual abuse suffered by our son or daughter, it is important to file the case, not only with the police authorities, but also with paediatricians, psychologists or psychiatrists specialized in this type of case who can tell us at all times what to do or what actions to take in each moment.

Support and guidance from a professional are essential to adapt to the needs of a minor who has suffered abuse, given that he probably cannot interact with the environment in the way that a young man of his age would be expected to age.

6. Seek help on a personal level

Fathers and mothers do not have to go through all this painful process without ever abandoning their role as a protector and as an adult who never loses their cool; sometimes, they should focus on their own health and be able to vent, expressing their fears, concerns, etc. Therefore, it is important to seek help from loved ones and psychotherapists.

Are you looking for forensic psychology services in cases of abuse?

If you need to have forensic psychology services, contact us.

In Azor & Associates We have a long professional career in this field, and we apply the most appropriate expert evidence for each case. You will find us in Tres Cantos.