What makes it hard for a person to trust others?

Human beings are social beings, which means that we need contact with other people to survive, satisfy our needs, fulfill ourselves at all levels and be happy throughout our lives. lives. However, to maintain this network of mutual support it is necessary, first of all, to be able to trust others, since without trust it is practically impossible to compromise and reach agreements.

For this reason, some people who find themselves unable to trust others have a very damaged quality of life, since they only have the aspects purely formal forms of support granted by the fact of having the citizenship of a country and, in any case, with the unconditional support of relatives direct; a type of help that in the vast majority of cases is insufficient to live well. But, if the fact of putting up barriers to not trust others brings problems... Why are there people who fall into this type of dynamic?

In today's article we will briefly see what are the main consequences of not daring to trust others, and what are

the main reasons why many people have certain difficulties when it comes to trusting others.

• Related article: "What is social psychology?"

Consequences of not daring to trust others

Trust is a highly studied aspect in the science of Psychology, and constitutes one of the most important elements in the flourishing and maintenance of interpersonal relationships; Not surprisingly, it is popularly said that trust costs a lot to earn and very little to lose. can be defined as the psychological disposition to assume that one has the support of a person or group of people, that they will be able to act in a manner appropriate to some needs if it reaches the point of requiring their support and that they will respect the agreements established between both parties, in good faith.

When we do not dare to trust someone in a timely manner, we may be protecting ourselves from some real or imagined threat, but in many cases it can also mean that we are closing ourselves off from interacting with someone who perhaps wants the good for us.

In this way, we may be wasting an opportunity to collaborate together with someone with whom we could get a benefit at the same time that he or she also obtains it, thus achieving a hypothetical beneficial collaboration for both parts.

In the field of clinical psychology, those people who present more extreme cases when it comes to avoiding at all costs to trust someone and who can never trust someone in any area of ​​their lives can introduce a phenomenon called “pistantrophobia”.

Pistontrophobia is the irrational fear that prevents people from establishing an intimate and personal relationship with others, as well as fully trusting other people on any subject. This very specific disorder is included within the phobias, and like all of them, it is based on the sensation of exacerbated fear and also of threat that does not exist in real life.

People who suffer from pistantrophobia usually have serious interpersonal relationship problems and usually present great difficulties to relate normally with other people, both in the field of friendships and with their romantic interests or sexual.

Now, you don't have to go to those extremes to suffer from problems trusting others. The most common consequences generated by this class of problems are the frustration for not being able to express what worries us and that belongs to our most intimate sideor (putting into words what makes us feel bad is an important therapeutic resource); jealousy problems in relationships and/or friendships; recurring thoughts based on fear of receiving criticism or betrayal; and the frustration of having a love life filled with unstable relationships.

• You may be interested in: "The 8 types of trust: what are they?"

Main reasons why people find it difficult to trust others

Although each case is unique, in general, a series of causes stand out when explaining the problems to trust others.

1. attachment type

The type of attachment that is established in childhood with parents is one of the main elements that can cause a distrustful personality towards the world and the people around him in the individuals.

Attachment is the affective bond that we create with our parents as children, and develop an ambivalent or anxious type of attachment (based at all times on the lack of security with the parents and on the belief that they will drop out) often results in children who do not trust their parents and who have a sense of insecurity constant.

Another type of attachment that generates distrustful people in adulthood is avoidant attachment., which is the one in which the child develops the idea that he cannot count on her parents, which causes them permanent suffering.

These people will be suspicious by nature in their adulthood and will have great difficulties establishing normal relationships with other people around them.

2. Borderline personality disorder

Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that affects the person on a personal, emotional, social, family, or work level.

People who suffer from this disorder see their self-image affected, that is, the way they see themselves themselves, their thoughts and ideas about themselves and other people, and the way they relate to others the rest.

This disorder is characterized by great suffering and little tolerance for the idea of ​​being abandoned. and due to great difficulty in relating normally with other people, always establishing short-lived and unstable relationships.

Borderline personality disorder is also related to great difficulty trusting other people, since those who suffer from it believe that others will always betray or abandon them.

• Related article: "Borderline Personality Disorder: causes, symptoms and treatment"

3. trauma

Traumatic experiences related to violence or episodes of great emotional affectation for a person, they can also end up generating a distrustful personality towards others.

Some of these traumas can be mistreatment in childhood and in the family environment, an episode of robbery with violence, a case of rape or sexual abuse or a traumatic experience that involves betrayal by someone very darling.

4. Shyness

Extreme shyness can be an obstacle when it comes to functioning properly in society and constitutes one of the most common interaction problems that psychology professionals receive in their daily consultations.

In addition, it is often the trigger for a distrustful personality with which a person has difficulties to relate normally with their equals.

5. Social phobia

Social phobia manifests itself in people as an irrational fear or exacerbated anxiety when they must participate in social events where there are many people or strangers.

People with social phobia have real problems relating to other people and experience symptoms of discomfort both physically and emotionally when they are in a place where there may be many people.

The origin of social phobia is in the fear of being judged by others, as well as being ridiculed or rejected by the peer group.

6. obsession with work

The obsession with work is also a common cause in people who are extremely distrustful of their environment.

This obsession with work can generate thoughts of mistrust towards others by assuming that they want to steal business ideas from us or take advantage of us financially, which generates great discomfort and a need to isolate themselves and not trust anyone.

7. Very painful breakups

Couple breakups are episodes that can leave very deep scars on the person affected, which can contribute to generate radical thoughts of discomfort, suffering or desolation.

These negative thoughts they usually push the person not to believe in love, to believe that you should not trust anyone and to think that no one can ever love you.

8. complexes

Complexes that carry over from childhood or adolescence, linked to low self-esteem and that are usually related to how we see our own body or our sexual identity, can also end up generating feelings of mistrust in the person. In general, the idea that we are an "easy target" before people with bad faith that may be around us makes us anticipate hostile intentions in those around us.