How to help your child to be responsible? 10 tips

Parents often complain that their children have a hard time being responsible, or they just don't understand why they should do homework and school.

Children have a hard time thinking in the long term, for this reason it is not an easy task to teach them why they should be responsible, but it can be done.

Here let's talk about how to help your child be responsible, from simple methods.

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How to help your child to be responsible?

Responsibility is a difficult concept to assimilate at an early age., especially considering that boys and girls have a hard time thinking in the long term.

However, it is possible to explain to them and make them understand the importance of doing home and school chores for own account, without anyone having to go after them reminding them over and over again that they have to stop playing or loitering and do it.

How to help your child to be responsible is not as easy as sewing, since It requires a lot of patience and control of your nerves, as well as knowing how to use a serious but appropriate tone.

but it can be done. Next we will see a few tips to achieve this goal.

1. Give him little chores

The best way to start is by keeping it simple and easy. A good step to teach the little ones the concept of responsibility is by assigning them small tasks, appropriate for their age and that do not pose any type of danger.

There are several tasks that can be done at home in which the little ones can help us, although it is very important to take into account your age, especially since not all household tasks are equally safe.

For example, for younger children, from 2 to 6 years old, we can assign them to put away their toys, put dirty clothes to wash, make the bed, clear the table...

For children from 6 to 9 we can assign them to load the dishwasher, put on the washing machine, put away the groceries, take the dog out (if it is a small breed), change the toilet roll...

For those older than 10 to adolescence, may be assigned more complex and lengthy tasks, such as cleaning the bathrooms, kitchen, dining room and his bedroom, changing light bulbs, painting walls, doing the shopping and watching over his younger siblings.

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2. To do fun tasks

All children like to have fun and it is for this reason that many of them, when told that they have to do a task, in addition to seeing it as an imposed obligation, they see it as something boring, and they prefer not to do it.

But the fun character of children can be used by us adults. We can combat this belief that all household chores are boring by choosing those that are more dynamic as a starting point.

Managing to motivate them is something that, at first, may seem very complicated, but sometimes it is enough to play background music and dance while they are cleaning the windows, scrubbing the floor and folding the clothes.

3. Find your strengths

We all have some task that we do not like to do, either because we are lazy or because we are not good at it. Adults try to be responsible and even though we don't like it, we put up with it and end up doing our responsibilities, some leaving it for later and others starting now and getting rid of it as soon as possible.

Obviously, children are the same way. There are many things they don't like to do because they're lazy or not good at it. But in the same way that they have weaknesses, they also have strengths, and that is where the issue of responsibility can be addressed.

If boys and girls are assigned activities that they are good at, even if they are compulsory tasks, they will feel more motivated to do them.

For example, if your child likes to put things in order, or classify various objects according to similarity (magazines, books, dishes...) a very good task for him would be to set the table, help tidy up the shelves or place the dishes once they are ready. clean.

The idea is find that activity that best suits him, so that he can start from that point to help us with the housework and, with the passage of time, when it is the day to do homework, they have already internalized the activity so much that they get down to it automatically.

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4. be an example

If you want your child to be responsible, be an example and follow suit yourself. Parents are the reference adults for children and, to a lesser extent, for adolescents. Parents are the role model and for this reason children learn through vicarious learning..

Do not expect your children to be responsible with their homework and tidying up the room if you are one of those who leave the income statement to the last and have a house made one block away.

Also, don't expect your kids to magically clean the dishes if you haven't explained to them how to do it.

It may seem like a very simple thing for adults, but this task and many others are the kind that intimidate the little ones, fearing that they are going to do it wrong and they don't dare to do it. The best thing is to teach them how to do it so that they can do it on their own..

Basically, responsibility is taught by being responsible. Do the tasks that you have proposed at once and do not leave them for later.

It is very important that your child knows what your obligations are, so that he can see that you are doing them when you do them., in addition to explaining the importance of complying with them. For example, if your task is to go shopping, explain why you are going, you are going so that there is food at home, so that you can all eat.

5. Rules and limits

Establishing rules and limits, always appropriate to your child's age, is highly recommended so that the child grows up learning to be responsible by not breaking them.

Establishing norms and their consequences is very useful, since helps children know, from a very young age, how to behave and what awaits them if they act irresponsibly.

It should be noted that the fact of setting these rules and limits is not synonymous with children and adolescents magically complying with them.

However, it does help shape your temperament, especially considering that transgression of these norms will imply negative consequences, which will make them appreciate the importance of having them compliment.

6. More autonomy, more responsibility

To the extent that is fair and appropriate to their age, it is convenient to leave some space for the child or adolescent. Fostering his autonomy is a very good strategy to awaken in him some responsibility.

The more autonomy, the more responsibility, translated into having to apply problem-solving strategies on their own, learn to order your life and respect the proper time for everything, like doing your homework first and then playing that much-desired game videogame.

In addition, the advantage offered by giving them autonomy is that we do not have to be so aware of them, promoting their own decision criteria. On the contrary, if you are always watching what they do and what they don't do, they will never grow up, let alone be responsible, which will be a real problem when they reach adulthood.

7. Conflict resolution

Giving them greater autonomy implies that children learn to be able to resolve their own conflicts, both with themselves and with others.

The seriousness of the situation should always be taken into account. and how capable the child must be to solve it. It could be a simple fight with a sibling over a toy, or it could get worse, like a physical fight at school with one of her classmates. In this case it is clear that the parents and teachers of those involved should treat it.

8 Decision making

Enhancing her decision-making capacity enhances her responsibility. This is especially useful if, when you have to do tasks, you are given two options to choose from. The freedom to make their own decisions must come according to their age.

Thus, if the child makes a bad decision, but shows that he did not do it with bad intentions, but because he was simply wrong, she should not be punished. They must be made to understand that it is through mistakes and example that people learn.

9. Recognize him when he is responsible

As we were already saying, Responsibility is too abstract an idea for children, so even when they are responsible, they are sometimes not aware that they are responsible.. That is why, especially for the little ones, it is good that adults know how to recognize when they are being responsible.

If she is told that she has been responsible and that she has done it well, the child will be able to see that it does not seem so difficult for her to do the chores and chores. She can even see that he is a responsible person without even thinking, doing her homework and tidying up her room automatically.

Thank him for what he is doing, and reinforce this behavior through positive phrases and congratulations and, very occasionally From time to time, some material prize, such as a candy, your favorite food or a video game, always according to what you have made.

But, in turn, It is very important to avoid falling into the dynamics of bribery and "I promise you that". Don't promise him a reward if he does a task he's supposed to do on his own, and don't threaten him if he doesn't.

The reward, which is a reinforcer, must be used after he has done the obligation, and without previously telling him that she would receive it if she did the task in question.

Bribes are very problematic since the child will always perceive them as a kind of contract: “I do this and you give me my remuneration”. The moment we stop giving him the "remuneration", the child will go on "strike".

10. Educate in values

The responsability It is a value that is accompanied by commitment, duty and obligation.

It is recommended to value the child so that he learns to value her behavior, how responsible she is and foster in him a greater feeling of self-confidence, security and a better coexistence with both their parents and their siblings if they has.

Bibliographic references:

• Baratú, I. (s.f.). Co-responsibility guide. Educate by sharing family tasks.
• Durán, A., Tébar, M.D., Ochando, B., Martí, M.A., Bueno, F.J., Pin, G., Cubel, M.M., and Genís, M.R. (2004). Didactic manual for the school of parents.