The 26 couple stories according to Sternberg

It seems quite reasonable to say that, in the field of romantic or passionate love, we can find as many stories or relationships as there are people in the world. And it is that, as they say, each person (and in this case, relationship), is a world.

This was confirmed by the American psychologist Robert J. Sternberg through his clinical couples therapy sessions, thanks to which he performed a classification that grouped up to 26 couple stories (Couple relationships). In this article we will learn about the 26 couple stories according to Sternberg, as well as their most relevant characteristics.

• Related article: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love are there?"

The 26 couple stories according to Robert J. Sternberg

The American Psychologist Robert J. Sternberg (1949, New Jersey, United States) is a great researcher on the theme of love., as well as author of the triangular theory of love.

Based on his clinical experience in couples therapy, Sternberg described up to 5 large groups of couple stories (couple relationships), which are:

• asymmetric stories
• object stories
• Coordination Stories
• narrative stories
• genre stories

In turn, these 5 groups are made up of the 26 couple stories according to Sternberg. After reading them, you may ask yourself: Which one would you feel identified with? Do you know couples from different classification groups? Do you think they are very different from each other?

1. asymmetric stories

In the first of the 5 couple stories according to Sternberg we find an asymmetry as the basis of the relationship. Within asymmetric stories, Sternberg defines 6 subtypes of them, which are:

1.1. teacher-student

It is a type of relationship where one teaches, and the other learns.

1.2. Sacrifice

Another type of asymmetric history, where one is sacrificed, while the other is the beneficiary.

1.3. Government

In a "government" type relationship, according to Sternberg, power is the fundamental theme, which is exercised in an autocratic, democratic or anarchic way.

1.4. police

In this relationship, metaphorically, one is the policeman, while the other is the suspect. It is based on an “all-nothing” thinking.

1.5. pornographic

It is a type of degrading relationship, where one acts as an object, and the other as a subject.

1.6. Terror

In this other type of couple stories according to Sternberg one is the victim, while the other terrorizes.

2. object stories

In the second group of couple stories according to Sternberg we find the object stories. Its central characteristic is that here the person or the relationship is valued for its function as objects and not for itself. These types of stories, in turn, are divided into two:

2.1. person as object

Here one of the partners is considered the object of the other. This type of relationship, in turn, is divided into three more:

• Science fiction: the person is valued for the strange character or behavior of it.
• Collection: the person is considered part of a collection of couples, where each one has a different role.
• Art: the person is valued by his physical appearance.

2.2. relation as object

In the second type of object stories, we find a type of relationship where the relationship itself is the object for one or both partners. In turn, these can be of four different types:

• House and home: a relationship whose purpose is to obtain a house and a home environment.
• Recovery: the relationship is the means to recover from a certain trauma.
• Religious: a relationship to feel closer to God; it may also be that the relationship itself becomes a kind of religion (without which the person feels lost).
• Game: a relationship to feel like winners, where there is constant competitiveness.

3. Coordination Stories

In this type of couple stories according to Sternberg, members work to create, make, or maintain something. Generally it is about healthy relationships. As subtypes of it we find:

3.1. traveler

It is based on the idea that love is a journey, and the couple works together to choose and reach their common destination. The relationship is understood as a change, as maturation and constant discovery.

3.2. sew and knit

In this type of relationship, the couple weaves or sews the base of their relationship, jointly. Here love is what you seek to create.

3.3. Garden

The next type of couple stories, according to Sternberg, is about a type of relationship that emphasizes care.

3.4. Business

Here the emphasis is placed on the economy and the division of functions.

3.5. Addiction

The context of the relationship is a context of dependency essential for the life of the couple, with phrases like “I can't live without…”.

• You may be interested in: "Sternberg's triangular theory of love"

4. narrative stories

In the next type of couple stories according to Sternberg, the narrative stories, there is an indicative norm within the relationship, of the path to follow. Narrative stories, in turn, are divided into:

4.1. fantastic

It is about the “ideal” couple, like a story, based on values ​​such as those hidden behind the story of the "prince and princess".

4.2. historical

In the historical couple, the present is defined by the past, that is, the conservation of objects, photos prevails, great importance is given to anniversaries and designated dates, etc.

4.3. scientific

In the history or scientific relationship, a logical and rational analysis of the relationship can be made. The relationship is also governed by principles and formulas.

4.4. Cook Book

Finally, in the “cookbook” type story, there is a recipe for a successful relationship, which has to do with how to act and the “ingredients” of the relationship.

5. genre stories

In the last of the great groups of couple stories according to Sternberg, the way of being in the relationship matters more, and not so much the content. It is divided into four types:

5.1. warlike

In the war relationship, what matters is being “at war”: arguing, fighting, etc. It doesn't matter what you fight for, what matters is that fighting becomes an incentive for both members of the couple.

5.2. Theatrical

In theatrical stories, what matters is that everyone plays a role, regardless of the role played.

5.3. Humor

In the following of the couple's stories according to Sternberg, what prevails, and what matters, is humor. It is about happy, carefree and never serious relationships.

5.4. mysterious

Finally, in mysterious stories or relationships, there is a constant concealment of information by one of the members of the couple. The other is the one who is interested (and often even hooked) on the mystery.