What to do when a man walks away from your life?

Social relationships are always complicated, both for men and women. Although we are alike in many ways, we are also very different in others.

In the particular case of relating to the opposite gender, men tend to be more direct. That is why it is common that during the initial stages of getting to know each other and starting something similar to a dating relationship, they go a little faster than they do.

But in the same way that it is common for men to start sentimental relationships of relatively direct way, it is also common for them to cut the relationship in a characteristic way, direct. So let's see what to do when a man walks away, leaving behind a stagnant relationship or directly broken, blocked.

• Related article: "Couple crisis: 7 signs that indicate that something is not right"

How to deal when a man walks away

Let's see some coping tools in this situation, to avoid affecting the mood too much and raise additional problems.

1. Evaluate the reasons: do not make unfounded assumptions

When suddenly the subject is no longer close, he no longer writes, does not answer, does not call... the situation can lead to a series of assumptions that respond more to our emotionality than to any other stuff.

It is best to remain calm and not fall into extreme hypotheses. When in doubt, what we must do is seek a clear answer from this person, approach him with the firm conviction of obtaining an accurate response to the situation.

If this is not possible, then it is time to respect the apparent motives of the other person, without assuming, and respect the distance. Remember that no one is indispensable for happiness.

2. Be firm before your decisions: opportunities have a limit

In some cases, especially when there is a component of emotional attachment, it is common that you do not want to accept that the subject has moved away, and you are not constant in your decisions to move away as well.

For example, if you have decided that the healthiest thing for you is not to give more than you receive and not pursue this man's stay in your life, you must carry it out.

The more constant you are and the more time passes without you reconnecting with that person, the closer you will be to overcoming it., which is ideal. It is never good to leave our peace of mind in the hands of another person. If you depend too much on someone, it is a matter that you must work on.

• You may be interested in: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love are there?"

3. Prioritize yourself: your value as a person is not negotiable

After the forced separation, that is, when they have moved away from us without giving us any explanation that will help us understand what has happened, it is quite frequent that there is a tendency towards self-blame, thinking that the reason is because of our defects. These thoughts are wrong.

Attributing the cause of the distance to a possible "defect" of ours indicates that we are not giving ourselves the appropriate value as people.

It is not possible for us to justify distance from someone with the pretext that we are not good enough for him. It is a harmful thought that we must recognize and change immediately.

4. Avoid forced replacements: One nail does not drive another nail

Getting stuck trying to find another person with whom you can forget the one who has left will not do you any good. In fact, You will only manage to reduce your autonomy, which is counterproductive for you. It is best to take some time to be alone.

Find activities where you can distract yourself from forced social contact and focus more on you. Also, this way you can meet people who have common interests with you, and establish a friendship that is not based on commitment, but on sharing the enjoyment of a common hobby.

5. Do not generalize: all men are not the same

Emotions sometimes lead us to exaggerated or generalized thinking. When a man walks away without fully clarifying his motives, then unconscious defense mechanisms arise that play some tricks on us... For example, subjectively rationalizing that all men are the same, and that if one abandoned you, all of them will.

Gender does not imply the way of understanding relationshipsThose beliefs are only ancient myths and paradigms that we must leave behind.

The more rational we are and accept that things will not always turn out the way we want, the more we will stop looking for the answers outside, and we will find them within ourselves.

6. Closing cycles: letting go being part of personal growth

When a stage has completed its cycle, we must accept this situation and let go of what we once wanted. Letting go of what was with us for a while in order to move on and meet new people, live new experiences. Clinging to a person is not healthy, and even less when it has voluntarily moved away from us.

Closing a cycle implies understanding that there have been good times and bad times, and that now all of this is part of our learning as a person, which allows us to mature emotionally so that later we can live the new experiences from a new perspective.

Bibliographic references:

• Masman, K. (2010). The Uses of Sadness: Why Feeling Sad Is No Reason Not to Be Happy. Allen & Unwin.
• Sternberg, R. J., Weiss. K. (2013) A New Psychology of Love. Yale University Press.