Toxic Siblings: 10 Problematic Sibling Conflicts

It is known that family is extremely important in our lives. It is an essential socializing agent for our development. In fact, at an early age, the family is vital for survival, because human beings need the help of adults for a relatively long period of time.

Furthermore, its relevance does not end there; The role of parents is essential to be able to grow up healthy and prepared to face the problems that can arise throughout our lives, even when we are already autonomous in good part.

But parents are not the only important family figure for us; when they're around, siblings are often there in good times and bad, too. However, there are times when this brotherly relationship can turn toxic. In this article, we will talk about the entrenched conflicts that can arise between siblings, and the concept of "toxic brothers".

• You may be interested in: "Toxic Families: 4 Ways They Cause Mental Disorders"

A brother is a friend given by nature

Siblings not only share our genes, culture, education, or social class, they also share the vast majority of experiences that happen to us within the family and live the same events that us.

However, each person is unique and has their own personality. Two brothers raised under the same roof can develop different ways of behaving, however, both share the same memories and experiences.

Siblings are people you trust, who will rarely turn their back on you; They can become our best friends. As the French poet and writer Ernest Legouve affirms, “a brother is a friend given by nature”.

When the relationship between siblings is not good

But Sibling relationships can be tricky too. From childhood, fights can be frequent, and as adults, some brothers can end badly for different reasons, for example, for economic reasons. Complicated relationships between siblings can become very intense and generate situations in which hostility, rivalry, competitiveness, jealousy and sometimes hatred can manifest.

When a sibling thinks that he is treated differently by his parents, when you think you are the black sheep of the family or when you receive a joint inheritance and don't have the same opinion as your other sibling about what they should do with a property they have inherited, the battle can be very destructive.

Reasons for conflicts between siblings

Whether in childhood or in adulthood, there are many reasons that cause these brotherly disputes. Below you can find a list of reasons why siblings have toxic relationships:

1. Economic reasons

In adulthood, it may happen that siblings stop talking to each other for various economic reasons. Some brothers fight because they share a company, and when liquidity problems arrive, the relationship suffers. Others, on the other hand, experience a patrimonial fight (especially, by the inheritances). The economic reasons are a frequent source of family breakdown If you don't know how to manage these conflicts.

2. attention seeking

At an early age, it can happen that siblings are continuously fighting over seeking parental attention. Generally, they are usually tantrums that do not reach more, but on other occasions, the relationship can become conflictive, since the accumulation of conflicts can generate greater conflicts.

3. Parent Comparisons

Sometimes it is the parents who generate insecure children. Children who, in one way or another, will seek the attention of the elderly to feel loved. One of the children may be very good at school, because they are good at the subjects that are taught at the school, be it mathematics or social sciences. On the other hand, the other child may have a great talent, for example, drawing or dancing.

This last brother will need the affection of his parents to develop that passion that he treasures, but, as often happens, Some parents only consider school grades when assessing a child's success. That child can feel very frustrated, which can cause a certain rivalry with his other sibling by feeling slighted.

4. Inequitable parental treatment

Sibling comparisons are not good, but not giving children equal treatment is not good either. This can happen, for example, with the clothes their parents buy them, the amount of money they give them for the weekly allowance or even the number of tokens of love (hugs, kisses, etc.) that the parents distribute. Minors are especially sensitive to this type of parental behaviorTherefore, care must be taken not to treat one child better than another.

5. Age difference

It seems that the age difference can determine the conflicts. Research shows that children who are less than two years apart from each other they frequently have more conflicts than children with a greater age difference.

The older sibling, whether a boy or a girl, tends to be more affectionate and understanding towards the younger one. If the older brother is far enough apart in age, he may come to understand some of the reasons why his younger brother is reacting in a certain way.

6. development stage

The stage of development can also influence when it comes to generating conflicts. For example, it may be that at school age the siblings had a better relationship, but when they reached the high school and the stage of changes, the older brother loses interest a bit in the relationship with her older brother little. The younger brother, in this case, can seek older brother's attention through disputes.

7. personal possessions

Another reason for sibling fights to start is when someone touches the other's personal possessions. At younger ages it can be a toy, but in adolescence it is still a piece of clothing. This can lead to conflicts especially if the item they have borrowed without warning is damaged.

8. Different personalities

We all have different personalities and interests and this can lead to a lot of conflict. Some people are more easily irritated than others, some are introverts, others are extroverts, etc. Personality clash can lead to serious disputes in sibling relationships.

9. social skills deficit

If on some occasions it is the personality that causes the conflict, on others it is the lack of social skills. Conflicts can arise in any interpersonal relationship, but a good mastery of social skills can help to resolve this conflict correctly. Otherwise, it can end even worse.

The ability to resolve their own problems and conflicts, empathy or the ability to negotiating and dialoguing, among others, are factors that influence how problems are resolved relatives. Parents have a lot to say here.

• Related article: “Top 14 Soft Skills for Success in Life”

10. jealousy and envy

Jealousy and envy can be a source of conflict in sibling relationships at any age. Sometimes it is the insecurity of one of the brothers that causes this situation, because he can feel a tremendous feeling of frustration when seeing that his brother has a better job or a partner spectacular.