Depression for love: what it is, causes, and with what symptoms it is expressed

Depression is a mental disorder that affects many people worldwide; in fact, it is one of the most prevalent disorders in practically all countries. Its causes can be very diverse.

In this article we will focus on depression for love, which is the one that arises as a consequence of experiencing a process of loving breakup and as a consequence, of facing the process of grieving for the loved one.

What are the defining characteristics of love depression? And its symptoms, causes and treatments? How do you experience a process of breaking up and what relationship does this have with depression? Let's find out through this article.

• Related article: "The 6 types of mood disorders"

Depression for love: what is it?

Depression due to love is one that has a love break as its direct cause. So, when we talk about depression due to love, we are rather referring to depression due to heartbreak.

Since, when we are in love, we are not precisely depressed, and it is love breakups or disappointments that can cause us depression, and not love itself. In this way, what causes suffering in people is heartbreak, not love.

How do we feel when we experience a love breakup?

The first days after a rupture, symptoms of all kinds usually appear. Anxiety, fear, insomnia, loss of appetite, feeling of emptiness... Surely many of you have experienced them.

Besides, a compulsive need to contact the other person also usually appears. We must be attentive to these first symptoms since, although they are totally normal (and even adaptive), if they last a long time or if their intensity is disproportionate, we may be at risk of suffering a depression. What we call here “love depression”.

On the other hand, the so-called "withdrawal syndrome" appears, which is a very normal and frequent state, mentally and physically, when we have just lost a source of security and pleasure. We must take into account what has already been mentioned and that is that love, by itself, does not generate this withdrawal syndrome, but it is the loss of the loved one that causes it.

Patterns of behavior in breakup and depression

As a consequence of a loss or a love break, we can act very differently from each other, but it is true there are some common patterns that are mentioned here, added to some of the following, which appear with some frequency.

Resorting to unrestrained sex with strangers to "drive away" grief (or to stop thinking), the consumption of toxic substances (such as tobacco, alcohol or hard drugs) to "evade", distract us or also not to think, ruminative or obsessive thoughts, unanswered questions, slumps, sleepless nights, stagnation... Do you sound?

When all this drags on in time, or when the intensity of these symptoms or behaviors is so high that it seriously interferes with our daily lives (that is, in our functioning), then what we call depression for love can appear here. What are their characteristics? How to treat it? We will see it in the following sections.

Symptoms of depression for love

Actually, we cannot say that depression due to love is a "subtype of depression" (at least, this term does not exist in any diagnostic reference manual); When we talk about depression due to love, we are referring to a type of depression popularly called that, because it occurs as a consequence of love (or rather, heartbreak).

For all this, the symptoms of depression for love They are the same as those that appear in any type of depression, although "bathed" by this feeling of having lost a loved one. In this way, the following may appear.

1. mood symptoms

The symptom par excellence of depression has to do with low mood. In the case of depression for love, these symptoms can be accentuated when moments with the person who has been lost are remembered. It is common to enter states of nostalgia and especially melancholy.

2. Motivational and behavioral symptoms

Apathy, inhibition, anhedonia, lack of motivation, psychomotor retardation (or on the contrary, agitation), etc. appear.

As in the previous case, all of these symptoms can be intensified when you get into a thought loop (which are usually negative) towards the other person, or in compulsive behaviors of looking for the other person on social networks, checking what he is doing, etc.

3. cognitive symptoms

The performance of different cognitive processes and abilities is also altered in depression, which impairs: memory, attention, mental speed...

Regarding the content of cognition, it may appear Aaron Beck's so-called "negative triad", characterized by a negative (and pessimistic) view of oneself, the world, and the future.

In love depression, this could translate into negative ideas about the other person, about the relationship itself, about the breakup, etc.

4. physical symptoms

On a physical level, sleep problems appear (the so-called "white nights" characteristic of this depression, as well as insomnia or other disturbances), fatigue, changes in appetite, decreased sexual desire...

5. interpersonal symptoms

Finally, in the field of interpersonal relationships, there is a deterioration of the same, decreased interest in interacting with others and even a rejection of people.

In this sense, and especially in the early stages of a breakup, people tend to isolate themselves in home without wanting to go out with anyone, or on the contrary, to party every weekend and get out of phase, etc

In relation to the latter, the aforementioned behaviors of having unrestrained sex with strangers may appear in some people.

Causes

Although each situation is different, the causes of depression due to love are usually of two types: either a love break or be rejected by the person we love (in more colloquial words, "that they give us pumpkins").

These types of situations are part of life, and all of us will go through them (and surely, on more than one occasion). In other words, these are situations that do not have to cause depression, even if they involve feelings of sadness and emptiness, since after all we are talking about grieving processes and it is normal feeling like that.

However, there are people who, due to their personal characteristics (vulnerability, for example, or insecurities) or due to the circumstances that have accompanied the breakup or love disappointment, they do develop depression.

• You may be interested in: "How to overcome a couple crisis: 6 useful tips"

Treatment

In relation to psychological therapy, the treatment of depression for love will actually be the treatment used to treat depression in general (adapting, yes, to each person).

In the specific case of depression due to love, Dysfunctional thoughts associated with the breakup and the grieving process should be worked on a lot with the patient., that is, to all those who hinder the acceptance of the current situation (that is, the acceptance of reality).

It will also be important to work on the patient's self-esteem, since it is often affected in this type of situation or process. Thus, it will be sought to enhance it through different techniques and exercises (without forgetting self-concept either, closely related to self-esteem).

There are different psychological treatments that have been shown to be effective for depression.. Some of them are:

• Lewinsohn's Pleasant Activities Program
• Versen and Mclean Social Skills Training (EHS)
• Course for coping with depression -CAD- by Lewinsohn
• Rehm's self-control therapy
• Nexu Troubleshooting Therapy