5 reasons why I don't get over my ex after the breakup

Ending a love relationship can be one of the most painful processes to go through. When a relationship ends, we not only have to elaborate the loss of this person, but there are also dreams, illusions and projects that disappear with it. Getting back to being well is not just a matter of time, but it is important to develop a grieving process in a healthy way.

Many people believe that after this they will never be able to be happy again or that they will always feel alone. There is no need to be obsessed with this, it is necessary to allow yourself time to accept all the changes of our new situation. Our day to day will not be the same and life goes on.

Whether the decision to break up was yours or not, it involves experiencing many feelings, emotions, and thoughts. Some of the consequences can be feelings of emptiness, obsessive thoughts, not being able to stop talking to him/her, not Being able to focus on other important aspects of our lives, feeling intense anger, feeling intense sadness or suffering from anxiety. Do not misunderstand,

in the first moments of the breakup it is normal to feel this way, our brain is used to having that person close and suddenly they are no longer there, but little by little little we must manage what happens to us to get out of there and redo our life in a way adaptive.

• Related article: "The 8 types of mourning and their characteristics"

Reasons why it is difficult to overcome the end of a relationship

Next, I show you 5 possible situations in which it can be more difficult to overcome the end of the relationship:

1. You do not accept that the relationship has ended

Sometimes we block ourselves, telling ourselves that we must be fine, continue As if nothing had happened. It is important to accept the emotions and sensations that flood us. It is normal that we continue to feel things for our partner. We may have been together a long time and everything we have felt does not disappear overnight.

Sharing how we feel with our loved ones helps in this process of turning the page. The fact of leaning on others allows us to alleviate the emotional burden and not sink into what we feel without seeing any way out.

• You may be interested in: "The 8 types of sadness: characteristics, possible causes and symptoms"

2. Do not cut contact with that person

As we mentioned before, this person is someone you have loved and may still love. right now, but these feelings don't go away if we keep in touch, so that It's hard to forget and redo our life. It may sound strong, but yes. Distance yourself, without contact at first and learn to relate differently later. Of course, this distance will not be the same between two people who have children in common and people who have nothing to continue to unite them, for example.

You will have been through a lot together, memories will unite you and you may think “what is wrong with a small talk?” I'm sorry to tell you that yes, this simple talk can hurt you or that person. Right now you have to prepare a duel, that is, a process similar to the one we experience when a loved one dies, although in this case what dies is a relationship. The person is still alive, but if we always have them within reach, we will never get over the fact that we are no longer together.

First place yourself back in the world, the things you like, your projects or assuming responsibilities that you deposited in the other person, among other things. Later, from respect and affection, you can have a friendly relationship with the other person if you wish.

• Related article: "How to close life cycles and not die trying?"

3. You have very present objects and places that remind you

Objects and places have the power to evoke emotions or memories, that cause us those emotions. The first gift that he gave or the detail of that book that you wanted so much to have can be harmful in the first moments. If it hurts you, save it, give it away or throw it away.

And if I return it? It may seem like a good idea so that the other does not lose that memory or because we feel the need for the time or money that he invested not to be in vain. But have your exes ever returned a gift to you? It can be something painful or aggressive for the other person, we don't know how he is living his duel.

4. you idolize him

Perhaps, by taking distance, we can also distance ourselves from what is bad, we can eliminate the coexistence that was damaged and the good memories return. We remember what we liked about that person and forget what led us to the breakup.

You may have believed that you were going to eat the world alone and that your problems would be solved, finding that those expectations are false. Not all our problems are due to a relationship, life is full of challenges to overcome. Doubting decisions is totally normal, there is no 100% correct decision and these expectations that are not met can lead us to it.

You may feel that you are worth less and that that person was all the valuable you had. What have you achieved in your life? Your studies, the challenges you have overcome, those dance courses you didn't think you would be able to do, the playing an instrument, improving the relationship with your loved ones, getting ahead with your issues,... Make a list of what your achievements are. You have achieved all this you are a valuable person, that you will not forget.

5. You jump into another relationship immediately

Right now you need to take care of yourself, pamper yourself and assume forgotten roles. If we start a relationship with another person, it is something precious, but we will be forgetting all this, when we need to self-discover ourselves and carry out that grieving process. When starting a relationship, we may start to forget about ourselves in some aspects and we are aware of another person.

Conclusion

If you've been breaking up with your partner for a while and you've felt identified with these difficulties, you may not be preparing your duel in the best way.

It is advisable to attend psychology sessions such as those offered at the center PsychoAlmería both in person and online. Thus, you will be able to take control of your life again, reduce conflicts with your ex and manage all inappropriate thoughts and consequences.