Half of our friendships might not be reciprocated
Friendship is one of the most important elements in the lives of most people, but, at the same time, it is something very difficult to quantify.
This is so, among other things, because just like in relationships, friendship is not something that one can possess oneself, but a relationship dynamic that involves more than one person. And this is what often makes it not very clear if the degree of intensity that we attribute to that relationship is close to the way in which the other person perceives this affective bond.
When friendship is mere imposture...
But, since the human being is an intelligent animal, surely we are very good at assessing whether our friends They consider us friends... TRUE?
Well, a recent study published in PLOS ONE suggests that about half of our friendships could be unrequited. That is to say, that in one case out of two the person we believe to be our friend does not see us as a relevant friendship, which could cause them to be considered Fake friends or, simply, people whose courtesy is taken for true attachment.
How was the research carried out?
As a sample group to carry out this research, a group of 84 people with ages ranging from 23 to 38 years were used. The purpose of the study was to see to what extent the relational dynamics of a community of people affect when it comes to persuading its members, creating currents of opinion, etc. However, one of the things that attracted the most attention was related to another topic.
In order to have data to work with, the researchers were asked to rate from 5 to 5 the degree to which they considered the rest of the people friends, with 1 being the option "is a stranger" and 5 being "the best friend". Besides, each individual had to rate, also on a 5-point scale, the degree to which they believed that the other person considered them a friend.
The results
In general, the vast majority of the participants were optimistic when assessing how reciprocated they were in their friendly relations. In 94% of the cases, people used the same number to quantify the degree of friendship they felt and the degree to which they believed the other person reciprocated them. That is, there was a clear tendency to believe that the relationships were symmetrical and bidirectional.
Judging by the data obtained, this optimism was based more on wishful thinking. On 47% of the occasions, the scores obtained were not the same.
Fake friends? What are his dark motivations?
There are many ways to interpret these results.. One of them is to simply believe that the conclusions reached through this investigation do not correspond to reality. After all, this is just one study, and errors in sampling, design, or data analysis may have occurred. In addition, it is still true that this could only occur in certain cultures or populations, and not in all the inhabitants of the planet. To know this, more research would be needed.
Another way to take it is to believe that the results of this study are a reflection of what really happens in our relationships. It could be that humans are exceptionally bad at distinguishing between true friends. (that correspond to us) and others that only act in a similar way as a friend would.
But there is also another possible explanation: that these conclusions show the consequences of having many non-antagonistic personal relationships. That is, at a time when It is common to have 400 contacts on Facebook, many of whom congratulate us on our birthday without hardly knowing each other, it is increasingly difficult to know who is kind in a totally spontaneous way and who only acts like that out of courtesy.
After all, in a culture where image matters more and more, the posturing and appearances can also involve what was once our network of relationships based on honesty and affection.
