The 3 causes of discouragement and lack of desire (and their solution)

If there is a psychological difficulty that has multiplied in recent years, it is discouragement or lack of desire, which can also lead to depression.

We live in a hyper-stimulating world, and at the same time, we feel more discouragement, discomfort, apathy and emptiness.. We don't know what decisions to make and the exit from that endless circle seems not to come. Why do we feel this way? How can we solve it?

Feeling discouraged, apathy or lack of desire at certain times in our lives is natural. However, the fact that it is such a common state is completely counterproductive, it causes us to become more blocked and over time it can lead to depression.

In my case, as a psychologist and coach, I increasingly accompany more people who seek to get out of this situation in their personal change processes. In all these cases we see that there are 3 fundamental factors that lead us to this discouragement, apathy or lack of desire.

The objective that we have in this article is that you delve into what is happening to you, and above all, that you can find tools to start solving it. Everything I am going to tell you is based on my experience as a psychologist who has been accompanying people to solve these problems since 2012, in a stable and profound way. Let's go for it.

• Related article: "10 psychologically healthy daily habits, and how to apply them to your life"

The meaning of discouragement or lack of desire

As we speak, feeling discouraged at certain times in our lives is natural. Discouragement implies a moment of rest, away from what is happening, which can help you gain perspective, increase your openness, and come up with solutions. However, too frequent, intense and long-lasting discouragement or lack of desire can lead to a major block.

Discouragement is an unpleasant emotion, which implies a lack of interest in action and which is based on the belief that our actions are irrelevant. That is, we do not act because we believe that it will not make sense to act. Discouragement is also contagious: as our behavior is more driven by discouragement or apathy, this discouragement increases and your own emotional world tends more and more towards demotivation.

Its meaning is to help you gain perspective, and this in itself is positive. The problem is not discouragement, but the way in which you are understanding and managing that emotion, in such a way that you have immersed yourself in that state.

• You may be interested in: "Types of motivation: the 8 motivational sources"

The 3 causes of discouragement and apathy

Discouragement or apathy can be caused by 3 main reasons or a combination of all three. The first and most important thing to understand is that discouragement is not a primary cause, that is, it does not come into your life spontaneously, but arises as a result of other events, and above all, it depends on your actions.

This is good news, since it means that the solution also depends on you and your personal change.

These are the 3 main causes of discouragement, apathy and lack of desire:

1. reaction to anxiety

When we have been with anxiety for too long (which is a state of fear that has become generalized, which causes us thoughts intrusive, physical discomfort and a constant state of alertness and anguish) our organism is exhausted, and as an output it generates discouragement. Anxiety is exhausting and causes us so much discomfort that it blocks our life. Feeling discouraged as a reaction to anxiety is a common consequence; hence the diagnosis of the famous "anxious-depressive" picture. If this is your case, you should know that the solution is to face anxiety first. When you decrease the intensity of anxiety, everything starts to get easier. We achieve this in a few weeks through proper breathing.

• Related article: "What is anxiety: how to recognize it and what to do"

2. That your well-being does not depend on you

When you get used to the fact that your well-being depends on external factors you cannot control (the behavior of others, how they value you, your situation at work, the results of a project) generates anxiety, insecurity, and over time, discouragement. A self-esteem that works is the one that makes your well-being depend mainly on you. If this is your case, you already know where we have to start working and applying changes.

3. Going too long without rewarding yourself

Discouragement also comes from the lack of positive stimuli, but They must be non-material rewards or from other people, but the natural ones that arise from your own behavior. When you forget about yourself, discouragement will come. If this is your case, we must start working with behaviors that generate that well-being by your own means.

The relationship between discouragement and depression

Sometimes we don't know if what happens to us is discouragement, apathy or even depression. depression is actually a state of low spirits that has become stable, such that your energy is low. But we do not reach this state quickly, but through a long and sometimes invisible process. For this reason it is so important that you learn to manage your discouragement now, so that it is not stable and does not lead to bigger problems.

• You may be interested in: "Major Depression: Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment"

Discouragement and doubts (fear and insecurity)

Discouragement also generates constant doubts. Will I be able? Does it make sense to dare? Doubts are always a consequence of fear and insecurity, which have as a tool to block you through questions and hypotheses.

The way to get rid of doubts is not an eternal decision, but to have an action plan that leads you to concrete changes, which will make doubts stop making sense.

How to solve your problem with discouragement in a stable and practical way

The solution to this problem is in your own personal change, not in magic tools or external solutions. Your own personal change must be focused on understanding and knowing how to manage what you feel, counting on concrete changes, and above all, that the company be constant.

For this reason, in my case, as a psychologist and coach, I do not accompany you only with occasional sessions, but every day for any need you may have and without limit of consultation. In this way, we manage to face your difficulties at the moment they occur without necessarily waiting for a session. In addition, we work with weekly tools and sessions, so that it is a deep, complete, practical and stable change process. My goal is to accompany people in processes where they get what they need 100% and it lasts over time.

If it is what you want, remember that in this page You can see the option to schedule a first session with me, which you can have from home, to get to know each other, see what is the problem in your case, find a stable solution and analyze how I can accompany you in your process.

I send you much encouragement. Remember that the opposite of discouragement is not joy, but confidence. Go for it.

Thanks for thinking of you, Ruben.