How to stay calm in difficult times: 5 psychological keys

On many occasions, a multitude of feelings and sensations that are extremely difficult to handle and manage can go through us. Sometimes sadness, anger, frustration, or despair can make us lose control. However, it is possible to learn to remain calm in difficult times.

Plato once said that "the most important victory of ours is to conquer oneself" and he was right. We are all emotional beings and, therefore, we act as such when faced with the things that happen to us. Consequently, it is not about stopping feeling anger or sadness, but about learning to manage them effectively when they appear.

Also, sometimes, we face long periods of stress. In these vital situations, it is important to learn to develop strategies that allow us to balance the scale and find inner balance.

If you are experiencing a situation that overwhelms you and you need some form of action to reduce stress, don't worry... In this article we explain some of the the most useful techniques to not lose control in difficult moments.

• Related article: "Emotional management: 10 keys to master your emotions"

The best guidelines for staying calm in difficult times

Stress is part of modern life, and we all worry and get upset from time to time. They are natural responses.

Our bodies release large amounts of cortisol when we experience a lot of stress. These hormones are a prehistoric response to danger, ultimately preparing us to fight or flee from danger or predator. However, most of these mechanisms are not useful, since we do not live in such a hostile environment. And stressors often involve job presentations rather than wild animals. If you often feel stressed or anxious, our fight or flight mechanisms are likely to kick in too easily. In this case, it can be very helpful to find ways to return to a relaxed state.

Financial and family concerns are often cited as sources of pressure. This stress can lead to an unhealthy physical and emotional state if left unchecked. If we often face stressful situations and don't know how to handle them, we may need to make some changes in our lives. There are some coping strategies that can help us stay calm, in our day to day. Here are some of the most effective.

1. Sleep well

Think about the days you get little sleep and how you deal with bad news or the work day, it seems we can come to one conclusion: everything seems worse when you haven't slept well. It is impossible to keep stress or other negative feelings at bay if we do not get enough sleep. Although, sometimes we can find ourselves trapped in a kind of vicious circle. Stress and anxiety often cause insomnia, so we can't sleep and then we feel worse because we haven't slept enough for us.

Not only for bad days or difficult periods, but to face life in general, sleep should be a priority. Although, it is true, even more so if we are under a lot of pressure. For example, it is not a good idea not to sleep if we have an exam the next day, it is proven that our performance will be much lower than what we would have if we had slept the hours necessary.

To maintain proper sleep hygiene, it is obviously necessary to go to bed early, but above all do not use electronic devices in bed. Screens and the light they emit can have a tremendous effect on our natural sleep biorhythms. If you are looking for some kind of natural product to help you sleep, lavender essential oil can promote a feeling of calm and help us fall asleep.

• You may be interested in: "Tips to sleep well and beat insomnia"

2. Go for a walk

Going for a walk in the fresh air for a short period of time to relax can help us, on the one hand, to relativize and realize that the stressors in our life are less serious than we they look like. In this case, seeing things from a new perspective can give us the calm we need to handle the difficult situations we face. Consequently, walking can give us some time to rethink the situation, think of solutions and return home or work with renewed optimism. Seeing things from a new perspective can give us the calm we need to handle difficult situations.

But, walking also has physiological benefits, since it allows us a greater oxygenation of the blood, which translates in a physical sensation of calm, and also exercise causes the body to release feel-good hormones, such as endorphins. Taking a short walk or exercising for a few minutes will greatly improve our mood. If we have more time, taking a walk in the fresh air is even more relaxing.

Some people prefer to listen to music. If it helps, you can choose a playlist that energizes you or calms you down during your walk. Otherwise, walking together and chatting with a good friend can also help us find social support, essential in difficult times.

Taking walks on a regular basis can provide short-term benefits and get us out of the nebula in which we are involved, as well as providing us with the long-term benefits that sport gives us for our physical and mental health.

• Related article: "10 psychologically healthy daily habits, and how to apply them to your life"

3. conscious breathing

Whenever we find ourselves under a stressful situation from which we cannot escape, breathing exercises can bring immediate relief. By providing more oxygen to our body, we manage to relieve the tension of physical origin that adds to the psychological one. Also, these breathing exercises can help in many ways, they are also an excellent exercise in mindful practice and allow us to focus on the present moment.

In addition, they have a great advantage over other relaxation techniques. Breathing exercises can be done anywhere and at any time, even if we do not have the freedom or the possibility to leave the situation that causes us stress.

Conscious breathing has a number of physiological effects. By concentrating on our breathing, we can turn away from any distractions and focus solely on the present moment. By doing it deeply and slowly, with each breath, we can stop the body from releasing stress hormones. This ultimately helps the body to relax, calm down, and regain balance.

As for the technique, start by taking a deep breath through your nose. Instead of just breathing through the chest, you must learn to breathe in the belly, that is, to use the diaphragm correctly. After a moment of holding my breath, we must exhale slowly through the mouth. Practicing this technique for a few minutes, we will notice that we feel much more relaxed. If we are going through a period of stress or have a lot of work, it is advisable to stop every so often. time to breathe and take several breaths, this can also help us return to concentrate.

Finally, some people prefer to accompany the breath by closing their eyes and putting their hands together - in a similar way as if we were praying. They suggest that these movements can increase the relaxing effect of deep breathing.

• You may be interested in: "The 4 types of breathing (and how to learn them in meditation)"

4. Focus on the positive

It is important to remain calm in the face of difficult situations, to be aware of the good things that surround us. Sometimes we intensify our experience of different situations by the way we think. Always putting ourselves in the worst case scenario for every situation we face is a harmful pattern and is known clinically as catastrophic thinking. This can increase our anxiety and the feeling of panic, which is no longer specific to the situation, but rather is caused by our anticipatory anxiety.

We have to try to reformulate the situation. Instead of thinking about the negative aspects or results, we should spend a few moments thinking about the positive. If we are able to see the situation from a different perspective, we can give it its real value or find solutions. This reframing will make the feeling of stress and other negative feelings decrease considerably.

As we have seen, mental and emotional stress can be the direct cause of our pessimism. Consequently, this type of problem is common in people with Type A traits and other self-sabotaging thought patterns. Ultimately, learning to change our framework or perspective of the things that happen to us will be very useful when facing difficult situations.

• Related article: "Cognitive schemes: how is our thinking organized?"

5. Write

Allowing ourselves to talk about our anxiety or anger through writing can be very comforting and helpful in staying calm during difficult times. A recent study showed that maintaining a daily writing habit helps reduce anxiety in people facing the illness of a loved one. If we are able to express and label what we feel, anxiety and anger, as well as other negative feelings, can decrease. So, if we have some time a day, we can dedicate it to writing a small diary, where we can write about what causes us stress and capture our emotions. This constant talk to ourselves and our feelings will ultimately help us stay calm in difficult times.