Psychological keys to communicate bad news

There is no way to turn bad news into bad news; so that, reporting a fatal event is always going to be difficult. Although there is no single ideal way or pattern either, but the emotional impact may be less if we apply the best strategies when proceeding.

What events are we talking about? We refer to cases in which it is necessary to communicate:

• The death of a close person
• a serious accident
• a terminal illness

All of them share the possibility of a fatal outcome that has already happened or is about to happen.

Who will be the communicator?

The person in charge will present himself earlier if he is not from a close environment. In professional environments, it must be the person who holds the highest labor category, because gives more credibility to the news. In addition, experience, training, and individual history can make the task easier.

• You may be interested in: "The 12 basic communication skills"

Keys to proceed to deliver bad news

The most appropriate, given the importance of communication, is to do it in person (not by other means such as the telephone). It is recommended

maintain eye contact, as well as a suitable tone and rhythms of voice (paused). Plain language is better than misleading jargon because we will try to get a clear message from the start.

First of all (always after having prepared the environment), we find out what it knows. For example: Have you heard about the event that took place this afternoon at the mall? He has contacted you. Any authority?

In the health media, efforts are made to report the news in phases, so that the person assumes even discovering the outcome for himself. Using short sentences. Let's take as an example: “Had your son gone to shopping center X this afternoon?

We are sorry to inform you that there has been a terrible accident. There have been casualties and injuries. We're sorry to have to break this news to you (most likely by now the recipient has discovered the information; if she has discovered it, it is not necessary to tell her). If you haven't figured it out, we can try to soften the news with some kind information about it.

For example: the rescue teams have acted urgently but despite their efforts, the name of their son is among the deceased. Or: your son did not suffer when it occurred…. (Even so, the location must be given, etc.) It is located in hospital X, where the autopsy will be carried out or whatever is appropriate... It is advisable to leave all this information in writing because with the emotion of the moment they may not retain it. If you ask about what happened, you have to give the truthful information; which we will have verified and secured before proceeding. The usual questions are about whether he was alone, whether he suffered, where he is now, etc.

• Related article: "Empathy, much more than putting yourself in another's place"

reactions

We must be prepared for the reactions that can be triggered, mainly in case they require attention. For example: fainting, anxiety attacks, aggressiveness.

The recommendation is not to make judgments whatever the reaction, it is about the person's feelings and only for this reason are they legitimized. Nor is it intended to have the right words to comfort emotional pain. If we don't know what to say, it is advisable to accompany in silence, not interrupt. Nod or gesture empathetically and don't be impatient. Offer help to make a call or...

Of course, the environment where to carry out this feat must ensure privacy. If you can count on the closeness of a relative who supports you, it will go smoothly.

• You may be interested in: "Distress: symptoms, causes and possible treatments"

Common task for some professionals

After having personally or professionally experienced this traumatic event, it is normal and adaptive to feel discomfort. The reaction is very different if the environment is personal, where we may even be involved through friendship or kinship; or if it is a professional environment.

In the second case, depending on our professional role, the circumstance is likely to be repeated (healthcare environments, civil protection, state security forces and bodies...). When this happens we learn to react "badly" to death; As a safeguard, we learn to "professionalize" the facts to be able to separate feelings that are painful and interfere with our personal lives. We also learn to “objectify” the deceased and turn them into case X, case Y, etc.

This reaction occurs naturally to be able to face and overcome such a degree of trauma in our lives and it does not represent any problem. The inconvenience arises when we suffer a loss in our personal environment; the reaction we present in this case tends to mimic the professional reaction, hindering or delaying the preparation of the non-pathological grief.

If the reader finds himself represented in the latter case, I recommend that he take some time to reflect on the loss and awakening of the dulling of emotions, which appears so frequently in such a chance. That is, taking enough time to accept reality instead of immediately continuing with the daily routine.

And if you need it, it's important go to psychotherapy, without hesitation. A few sessions can avoid a process that is too long or pathological.