Coitophobia (genophobia): the fear of sexual intercourse

Coitophobia is an irrational fear of sexual intercourse, which is part of the wide variety of sexual phobias. or erotophobias. Individuals with this disorder may initiate romantic relationships, kiss or hug others, but have a great fear of sexual intercourse and penetration.

Having sexual relations, especially with the person we love, is one of the greatest pleasures in life, and is essential to enjoy a healthy life, both individually and as a couple. But when fear takes over a person, the psychological and social consequences can be very serious.

In this article we will talk about coitophobia (also known as genophobia) and we will delve into the causes, symptoms, and consequences of this irrational fear.

What sexual phobias exist

Sexual phobias or erotophobias are a variety of disorders related to sex. Some people are penetration phobic (as in the case of coitophobia), others are afraid of penises, and still others are afraid of intimacy.

Phobias, in general, are irrational fears that generate great anxiety, discomfort and stress spikes and cause the phobic person to avoid the feared stimulus or situation. There are different types of sexual phobias in addition to coitophobia, they are the following:

1. knotophobia

This phobia is also known as gymnophobia, and it is the fear of nudity. Therefore, these people are afraid of being naked or that others will see them like that.

2. fear of intimacy

Nudophobia can be confused with the fear of intimacy, but they are not the same. The fear of intimacy refers not so much to being naked, but to feeling close to the other person both physically and emotionally.

3. Hafephobia

And the irrational fear of intimacy is also not the same as fearing physical contact from a person, which is known as haphephobia. This fear is characterized by the fact that the individual fears being touched for different reasons (for example, for fear of contracting diseases).

Although haphephobia is not only related to sex, this disorder also affects sexual relations.

4. phallophobia

It is the irrational fear of both flaccid and erect penises (medortophobia), which makes it seriously difficult to have sexual intercourse.

• Related article: “Fear of penises (phallophobia): causes, symptoms and treatment”

5. paraphobia

It is a phobic disorder characterized by a fear of sexual perversion. It is a complex phobia in which some people fear perverting themselves, while others fear the perversions of others.

6. Phobia of vulnerability

The phobia of vulnerability is the fear of abandonment, of being left alone if someone rejects them. It also affects privacy, since some individuals do not believe that others can like them.

This phobia has negative consequences in different types of interpersonal relationships, including those of a couple and, therefore, sex with it is affected.

7. philemaphobia

It is also known as filematophobia, and it is the phobia of kisses, that is, the irrational fear of these acts of love. It is usually associated with different causes, such as concerns about bad breath or fear of catching diseases.

• Related article: “Kissing phobia (phylemaphobia): causes, symptoms and treatment”

Causes (and classical conditioning)

Coitophobia, like any phobia, usually develops as a result of a traumatic experience. This occurs by a type of associative learning called classical conditioning, in which the person suffers a traumatic experience from the past that causes a strong emotional reaction.

john b. Watson He was the first scientist to experience this type of learning with humans, and he managed to get a little boy named Albert to learn an irrational fear, that is, a phobia. This controversial experiment could not be carried out today because it is considered unethical. You can learn more about the experiment with little Albert in the following video:

Other causes of this phobia

The bad experiences that can cause this phobia can be different from one person to another: sexual abuse, manipulative sexual behavior or the pain suffered during penetration. Phobias can originate in childhood, although in this case it is very normal for it to start in adulthood, when sexual behavior is more pronounced.

Many times they can develop as a consequence of other problems of a sexual nature, such as sexual dysfunction. erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or dyspareunia, a medical condition that makes sex unsafe for some women. painful.

Religious beliefs or irrational beliefs about sex (often the result of misinformation or television) can lead a person to suffer from this phobia.

symptoms of genophobia

Coitophobia presents the same symptoms as other phobias, whether they are specific (as in the case of this phobia) or complex (as in the case of social phobia or agoraphobia). Anxiety and discomfort are the characteristic symptoms, and the person usually avoids any situation related to having sex. with another person.

The symptoms of coitophobia can be classified into three groups:

• cognitive symptoms: irrational thoughts, anguish, fear…
• behavioral symptoms: avoidance of the feared situation or stimulus, that is, sexual intercourse.
• physical symptoms: tightness in the chest, dry mouth, nausea, dizziness, headaches, hyperventilation and shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, tremors, chills...

Treatment of this phobia

According to research, phobias can be overcome thanks to psychotherapy. And the data from these studies show that cognitive behavioral therapy is really effective. Some of the techniques that are most used in this type of therapy to overcome phobias are relaxation techniques or exposure techniques.

Regarding the latter, automatic desensitization is usually used, which consists of exposing the patient to gradually to the phobic stimulus while learning more adaptive tools to cope with the situation. Logically, it is not possible for the patient to have sex in the office, but other strategies can be used that help expose the patient to this type of situation and can verify that their hypotheses are wrong. Some cognitive techniques can also be used to modify some irrational beliefs.

Likewise, many times, acceptance is key to reducing anxiety, which is why in recent times new forms of therapy have been used, such as Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) or acceptance and commitment therapy.

In extreme cases, pharmacological treatment has turned out to be useful, but always in combination with psychological therapy.